Heather Corinna

"An informative, blisteringly funny, somewhat cranky and always spot-on guide to perimenopause and menopause by the award-winning sex ed/health educator and author of S.E.X"--

Perimenopause, Menopause, Other Indignities, and You

What Fresh Hell Is This?

Lauren Sullivan

Content warnings: (view spoiler)[discussions of medical experimentation without consent, fat phobia, ableism, disordered eating, ageism, white supremacy, misogyny, transphobia, partner abuse (hide spoiler)]

After an online friend raved about this book, I felt like I had to pick it up. I’m approaching my forties, the time when, according to this book, many people start entering perimenopause. I knew going in that I was incredibly uninformed about it, and turns out, everything I knew was pretty much completely wrong.

“I’m not here to fix you. I’m just here to try and help you get through this hot mess.”

Apparently, I’m not the only one. The author starts with some of their own history, an example of how lack of knowledge about menopause – even among doctors – can lead to costly and frustrating issues. Throughout the book, the author is thoughtful and honest about their own struggles, and I really appreciated that. The next section goes over the history of (mis)treatment of menopause, with gems such as doctors stating that outliving your ovaries means you’ve outlived your use as a human being. It’s a bit hard to read, but it’s a good background to see where some of the cultural and medical misunderstandings that still persist today come from. While obviously no person’s menopause will be the same, there’s some common areas to focus on, what the author calls “Ya Basics” – things that honestly everyone should be doing, from hydration to movement to sleep to stress reduction. It’s basically self-care, but something that I, at least, recognize that I struggle with even now. After that, there’s sections devoted to possible issues – hot flashes, mental health issues, cognitive issues, digestive issues, urinary and genital issues…. – you get the point, menopause is a lot of issues – and suggestions for what may help.

“It is not uncommon for some people in menopause to take a look at their whole lives or some big part of them and come to the conclusion that what it really needs is some gasoline and a match. There may come a time in this when our fucks all come home to roost, we size them up, and say, “Oh yeah? Let’s dance.”

When listing it all out like that, this book can get rather terrifying at times so it’s good that it’s also hilariously funny. From silly things like a Rick Astley reference to one-liners, to a multi-page ode to a cooling pillow (one of the tips for getting better sleep, since apparently night sweats start with your head) there’s a lot of good humor. And while the author doesn’t sugarcoat that perimenopause can be rough going, they also provide lots of suggestions, and even a chapter at the end of the “benefits” of menopause. It was a lot like sitting down for a very frank chat with a good friend, honest and informative but also caring.

“Self-acceptance and self-love don’t require that we have no hard feelings or nothing we don’t like; they mostly just ask that however we feel about our bodies and ourselves, we’re not a dick about it.”

One of the things I really appreciated is that this book is inclusive, especially in terms of gender and disabilities. The author uses the term “people with utero-ovarian systems” as a shorthand, and the book specifically includes info for people who start taking testosterone for gender transitioning or affirm reasons. Look, this crap is scary and can be even more so for those outside gender “norms” or who already have some form of disability or marginalization. I’m cis, so I can’t speak to the sections for trans men and women, but tt was nice to specifically see sections that mentioned my specific disability and how it might affect whatever symptoms I experience. It’s also extremely body positive, for example, acknowledging that tracking foods (one recommendation for people having digestive issues) might not be a healthy option for everyone.

Overall, I found this incredibly informative and helpful, and I’ll definitely be buying a copy to refer back to when I inevitably need it.

I received an advance review copy of this book from NetGalley. This does not affect my opinion of the book or the content of my review.

KADY BURNS

As someone tiptoeing towards perimenopause, I found this book super helpful. I really appreciate someone laying it all out there about what to expect.

What Fresh Hell Is This? Perimenopause, Menopause, Other Indignities, and You

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