Reviews
I feel like the stories hit a good variety. Some were a little spicier than others, some had none. Some stories had good characters, some were batshit. Some stories had good world building, others seemed a little more random.
I originally read this for the Ilona Andrews story, but I actually enjoyed Carrie Vaughn's short story the most. I'm absolutely looking into Carrie Vaughn after this to see if I like more of her stuff. The Art of Misdirection was very Doctor Who feeling and I loved that aspect of it. While I enjoyed Retribution Clause by Ilona Andrews, it felt a little thinner than their usual books. I just didn't get all that awesome character development I'm used to in so few pages I guess.
The one I liked the least was BY FAR How Do You Feel? by Simon R. Green. It was absolutely the most pulp fiction random nonsense urban fantasy story I think I've ever read and I will absolutely be avoiding his other works in the future. Noooo thank you.
Here is how I would rate the stories out of 5 stars:
• Retribution Clause: 4 stars, maybe 3.5 - wish it was more fleshed out
• Bigfoot on Campus: 3.5 stars - some spice but not in a fun way, a little more geared toward the average straight white male reader than I liked
• Holly's Balm: 2 - spicy story, weird relationship dynamics made me uncomfortable but I liked the writing style
• Snow Job: 3 - interesting world building, but I felt like I was missing context
• Outside the Box: 3.5 - good action and story, but sooooo much info dumping
• How Do You Feel?: 1 - TERRIBLE, super random, would not recommend to anyone
• There Will Be Demons: 2 - spicy story, mostly just seemed like a back drop so two characters could bone honestly but even that writing was a little out there, no demons
• Cherry Kisses: 3 - fun concept, a little shaky on the execution
• The Arcane Art of Misdirection: 5 - loved it, I will absolutely be looking into more of this author's works.
Averaging all those together actually came out to exactly 3 stars, so there you have it! My rating!
⚡️ Review for Retribution Clause (Kate Daniels #5.6) ⚡️ Actual rating: 3.5 stars. ➽ And the moral of this reread is: I must have been slightly drunk or high or both the first time I read this story because it isn't as despicably bad as I pictured it to be in my original crappy non-review. Granted, it's not as Super Extra Scrumpalicious (SES™) as other books in this series, but it's still Pretty Shrimping Entertaining (PSE™) and stuff. Also, the characters have Quite the Promising Potential (QtPP™) and stuff. Also also, I think this story mostly suffers from its Revoltingly Revolting Shortness (RRS™) and stuff. So QED and stuff. Please don't ask. 👋 Until next time and stuff. [March 2018] ⚔ The Grand IAA™ KD Buddy Rerererereread Extravaganza (GIAAKDBRE™), aka the yellow brick road to Magic Triumphs ⚔ ☢ Warning: this thing is longer than the story it intends to non-review and stuff. You are quite welcome. I hereby officially declare that I did NOT give this Ilona Bloody Shrimping Andrews (IBSA™) short story a pathetic 3-star rating and that I did NOT write what follows (view spoiler)[ except from the Saiman stuff, which I am more than happy to take nefarious responsibility for (hide spoiler)]. Nope nope nope. Absolutely not. Go home, you're drunk. What do you see here? A moai, a vintage diner doll type chick and an ice cream, perched on a somewhat ancient VCR? Yes? Ha! Told you you were drunk. Okay, first of all this story is a complete rip-off because it features none of the characters from Kate Daniels. Neither main, nor secondary, nor tertiary, nor quaternary, nor…Sorry, what? Oh, you get the idea? Wow, you're pretty quick for a drunken horde! Anyway, so the main character for this story is a guy called Adam, who happens to be Samain is an Egotistical Cowardly Scumbag and Needs to Be Offered in Sacrifice to Roland (SiaECSaNtBOiStR™)'s cousin. I'd be more than glad to hold this against him, but you don't choose your family and stuff. Besides, it's not the poor guy's fault if his cousin is a Chicken-Hearted Pervert who Needs to Die Dead ASAP Please and Thank You (CHPwNtDDASAPPaTK™). Also, Adam is slightly cool. Like his cousin Saiman the Egomaniacal Creep Choppity Chop Off with His Head (StECCCOwHH), Adam is a frost giant, which is like a Hulk-type dude, Norse style. Yeah, that's pretty much it. Except that Adam turns blue, not green (probably has something to do with his diet). And that he doesn't use bears as weight training props. Adam could have been stupendously awesome, only that he is a bloody stinking insurance adjuster, which, weirdly enough, I find kinda NOT super sexy and a teensy little bit boring and stuff (no offense, my Little Insurance Adjusting Barnacles). But hey, the guy wears tight-fitting black spandex, so I guess I can't complain. Because the thought of a blue frost giant wearing skin-tight spandex is not scary at all. Absolutely not. It's so not scary at all that even Grendel the mutant attack poodle loves it when Adam visits the Keep. Watch out, Grendel loves Adam so much he might barf any second now. "Anything else," you say? Oh, yes. There is a Basic Badass Chick Wannabe (BBCW™) in this story. Her character might have been interesting, had it been more complex. But it wasn't, so it wasn't. I guess this means there is a new addition to my Flat as an Ironing Board Herd (FanIBH™). Oh, goody. "And what about the story," you ask? It's about a Retribution Clause Thingie (RCT™) and stuff. You are quite welcome. ➽ And the moral of this reread is : had it not been for the mostest wondrousest werereptile in this story, I probably might have rated it 2.5 stars. Which is slightly outrageous and disgraceful and scandalous and stuff, since this is an Ilona Andrews story. But I never wrote this and you're drunk as skunks frenzied barnacles on acid, so all is well in the world and stuff. Bye now. [Pre-review nonsense] Well well well, would you look at that! Here's another review of mine that went poof while I wasn't looking! And it's for a Kate Daniels short again! Yay and stuff! ➽ Full Please Most Awesome Authorlords Can We Exchange Saiman the Egotistical Bastard Who Can Die Dead for All I Care for His Cousin Adam the Black Spandex Wearing Giant Who is Featured in this Short Story Crappy Non Review (PMAACWEStEBWCDDfAICfHCAtBSWGQiFitSSCNR™) to come.
3.5 stars. Please Ilona, Can I have some more?
