Name: How It Feels to Float
ISBN: 9780525554295

Helena Fox

"Sixteen-year-old Biz sees her father every day, though he died when she was seven. When he suddenly disappears, she tumbles into a disaster-land of grief and depression from which she must find her way back"--

How It Feels to Float

Lainie Stuart

Scarly

You can wish as hard as you want for something to stay, but it will slip right through you, drift to the bottom of you as you stand, watching, watery, logged, bleating bloated blubbering, doing and holding nothing. Look at yourself, Biz. Do you see?

It feels like a night of vivid dreams, and when you wake, all day you hold one dream close because in it everything was back to how it once was.

It feels like you’ve fallen overboard. You are swimming to get back, but the boat moves steadily away. You can see the lights; you can hear the laughter and the music on the decks. You try to follow. The boat moves away.

I have been in bed so long, barnacles have had to be scraped off my bottom. I gathered moss in my belly button. I grew mushrooms on my tits.

Here I am, in borrowed bones, in makeshift skin, looking out of eyes that are a construct, breathing with lungs that are only a step—a basic rearrangement—away from leaves. How funny, to have a body when I am not a body? How funny to be inside when I am outside?

Am I better? Can you be better when you’re still sad—long patches of sad swooping in at night when there aren’t any sounds to cover it? Are you better when you still feel blank, fog rising inside you, great empty spaces like those moors people walk on in British films? Are you better when, as you’re going through the motions—talking, laughing, listening, walking the dog, helping Mum with dinner—at the same time there’s this lost feeling walking beside you, so you can touch it, like a tongue on a tooth?

And suddenly I feel so alone it’s like the universe has yawned open and sucked me in, rolling me like a moth in spider silk. I’m cocooned by nothing, and there’s no path out.

I can’t speak. I can feel the pistons of my heart moving, feel my lungs filling, emptying, my pores clogging. I feel the movement of the stars and I can hear the echo of all the black holes consuming everything—

Nourhan magdy

هذا الكتاب يُعد من الكتب التي تأسر القارئ منذ الصفحات الأولى. يتميز بأسلوبه السلس والشيق الذي يجمع بين البساطة والعمق، حيث استطاع الكاتب أن يقدم أفكارًا معقدة بطريقة سهلة الفهم ومليئة بالحيوية. تتناول فصول الكتاب موضوعات متنوعة، وتنتقل بسلاسة من فكرة إلى أخرى دون أن يفقد القارئ تركيزه أو اهتمامه.

اللغة المستخدمة غنية وراقية، وتُظهر قدرة الكاتب على التعبير بدقة وبلاغة عن مشاعره وأفكاره. كما أن الشخصيات مرسومة بعناية، تشعر وكأنها حقيقية تعيش بيننا. أما الحبكة، فهي محكمة ومترابطة، مما يجعل من الصعب ترك الكتاب قبل الوصول إلى نهايته.

من أبرز ما يُميز الكتاب هو الرسائل العميقة التي يوجهها للقارئ، حيث يدفعه للتفكر في مفاهيم الحياة، والوقت، والعلاقات الإنسانية. يمكن القول إنه كتاب ليس فقط للقراءة، بل للتأمل والتأثر.

أنصح بقراءته لكل من يبحث عن عمل أدبي متكامل يجمع بين الإبداع والمعنى.

౨ৎ | “i don’t understand anything and it’s like my sadness has drained my brain and now i can’t learn.”

i absolutely devoured this book, elizabeth is so complex and i loved seeing how she thought, and how she processed things, and then how she dealt with those emotions. jasper was so sweet and i loved how it didnt turn into a romance plot. they just stayed as bestfriends and that was so nice. 

also biz's friends SUCK and i hope they get what they deserve!! i wish we got more information on grace though, they kind of just glossed over that plot point unfortunately. 

౨ৎ | “i don’t understand anything and it’s like my sadness has drained my brain and now i can’t learn.”

— ★ 4/5

i absolutely devoured this book, elizabeth is so complex and i loved seeing how she thought, and how she processed things, and then how she dealt with those emotions. jasper was so sweet and i loved how it didnt turn into a romance plot. they just stayed as bestfriends and that was so nice. 

also biz's friends SUCK and i hope they get what they deserve!! i wish we got more information on grace though, they kind of just glossed over that plot point unfortunately. 

but highly, HIGHLY recommend.

Stella

Wes Michaud

when i first started reading i thought this was gonna be a finding her sexuality/bffs to lovers type story but damn... damn... no thoughts just grief and pain. i like the way this is written tbh the prose-y style of writing was really powerful. there was one part that reminded me of freshwater by Akwaeke Emezi! also jasper you are a jess from Gilmore girls to me..

Julie Rubens

Such a brilliant book! It was an exact portrayal of someone’s thought process and it captured “floating” so incredibly well. It was such an easy read and I loved every second.

This book shattered me. It was sometimes to relatable but I can recommend it if youre struggling with Depression or anxiety. It was very intelligent and poetical 

Gwenifer

Caroll-Ann

I wanted to like this so bad but somehow I don‘t really know how to feel about it. I‘d give it 2,5 ⭐️.

Lukas Ellerbrook

I was really excited for this book but I just didn’t like it. The set up was confusing and I couldn’t keep up with what timeline we were in. I also felt like I couldn’t connect with the main character at all, like she was just bland to me

Alexa Jade

dude this book GUTTED ME. at times I was like wtf because the main character is unreliable as hell but then it clicked for me that this was a book portraying someone with a dissociative disorder!!! rep I never see and that I learned is own voices. I myself suffer from a dissociative disorder so I BAWLED at parts of it. ugh. so good. lots of mental health related trigger warnings in this and a little mention of domestic violence. i’d 100% say to not read this if you’re feeling down at all. wait until you’re in a better place.

A Kirkus Reviews Best Book of the Year A Chicago Public Library Best of the Best of the Year "Profoundly moving . . . Will take your breath away." --Kathleen Glasgow, author of Girl in Pieces A stunningly gorgeous and deeply hopeful portrayal of living with mental illness and grief, from an exceptional new voice. Biz knows how to float. She has her people, her posse, her mom and the twins. She has Grace. And she has her dad, who tells her about the little kid she was, and who shouldn't be here but is. So Biz doesn't tell anyone anything. Not about her dark, runaway thoughts, not about kissing Grace or noticing Jasper, the new boy. And she doesn't tell anyone about her dad. Because her dad died when she was seven. And Biz knows how to float, right there on the surface--normal okay regular fine. But after what happens on the beach--first in the ocean, and then in the sand--the tethers that hold Biz steady come undone. Dad disappears and, with him, all comfort. It might be easier, better, sweeter to float all the way away? Or maybe stay a little longer, find her father, bring him back to her. Or maybe--maybe maybe maybe--there's a third way Biz just can't see yet. Debut author Helena Fox tells a story about love and grief, about inter-generational mental illness, and how living with it is both a bridge to someone loved and lost and, also, a chasm. She explores the hard and beautiful places loss can take us, and honors those who hold us tightly when the current wants to tug us out to sea. "Give this to all your...friends immediately." --Cosmopolitan.com "I haven't been so dazzled by a YA in ages." --Jandy Nelson, author of I'll Give You the Sun (via SLJ) "Mesmerizing and timely." --Bustle "Nothing short of exquisite." --PopSugar "Immensely satisfying" --Girls' Life * "Lyrical and profoundly affecting." --Kirkus (starred review) * "Masterful...Just beautiful." --Booklist (starred review) * "Intimate...Unexpected." --PW (starred review) * "Fox writes with superb understanding and tenderness." --BCCB (starred review) * "Frank [and] beautifully crafted."--BookPage (starred review) "This book will explode you into atoms." --Margo Lanagan, author of Tender Morsels "Helena Fox's novel delivers. Read it." --Cath Crowley, author of Words in Deep Blue "This is not a book; it is a work of art." --Kerry Kletter, author of The First Time She Drowned "Perfect...Readers will be deeply moved." --Books+Publishing

Cameron Gleeson 

Rebekah Holland

I have no words to describe how heart wrenchingly beautiful this book was. For someone who has never really suffered from a mental illness but has know so many people who do, this book showed just how hard it can be and will most likely always be for those people. Even though I can’t begin to understand what they go through, I can say that I have a slightly better understanding of how the mind works while experiencing all those thoughts and feelings. How Helena Fox writes, the language she uses and the set up of the paragraphs really shows how disjointed and crowded a mind can be. 

Such a sad and beautiful story, but it shows that there is always hope at the end when you have people around you who want to help.

Destiny

It’s a book that has you thinking she has it all. But who knew in such a short time everything fucks up. This book definitely pulls at your heart string and you see how much someone can truly struggle with grief.

How It Feels to Float

Reviews

Highlights