Carrie Brownstein

A "narrative of [rock guitarist and actor Brownstein's] escape from a turbulent family life into a world where music was the means toward self-invention, community, and rescue. Along the way, Brownstein chronicles the excitement and contradictions within the era's flourishing and fiercely independent music subculture, including experiences that sowed the seeds for the observational satire of the popular television series Portlandia years later"--Dust jacket flap.

A Memoir

Hunger Makes Me a Modern Girl

tianna

When my chest constricted, it was not on account of my rib cage but of the universe enveloping me and folding me into its vastness, its nothingness.

An audience doesn’t want female distance, they want female openness and accessibility, familiarity that validates femaleness. Persona for a man is equated with power; persona for a woman makes her less of a woman, more distant and unknowable, and thus threatening.

One evening we were mistaken by a backstage security guard as groupies and nearly not let into our own dressing room. When we took the stage that night, Corin said, “We’re not here to fuck the band, we are the band."

Eventually, I started to cringe at the elitism that was often paired with punk and the like. A movement that professed inclusiveness seemed to actually be highly exclusive, as alienating and ungraspable as many of the clubs and institutions that drove us to the fringes in the first place. One set of rules had simply been replaced by new ones, and they were just as difficult to follow.

I would be galvanic onstage, so that offstage I could try to figure out how to eventually live with a stillness, with myself.

That’s how I felt the day I was outed: splintered and smashed. I had not yet figured out who I was, and now I was robbed of the opportunity to publicly do so, to be in flux.

There is the identity you have in a band or as an artist when you exist for no one other than yourself, or for your co-conspirators, your co-collaborators. When you own the sounds and when who you are is whoever you want to be. There are no definitions as prescribed by outsiders, strangers; you feel capricious, full of contradictions, and areas of yourself feel frayed or blurred. Other times you feel resolute or whole. But it’s all a part of you, it doesn’t feel fractured, just mutable. But once your sound exits that room, it is no longer just yours—it belongs to everyone who hears it. And who you are is at the mercy of the audience’s opinions and imagination.

To this day, because I know no other way of being or feeling, I don’t know what it’s like to be a woman in a band—I have nothing else to compare it to. But I will say that I doubt in the history of rock journalism and writing any man has been asked, “Why are you in an all-male band?"

From the guitarist of the pioneering band Sleater-Kinney, the book Kim Gordon says "everyone has been waiting for" and a New York Times Notable Book of 2015-- a candid, funny, and deeply personal look at making a life--and finding yourself--in music. Before Carrie Brownstein became a music icon, she was a young girl growing up in the Pacific Northwest just as it was becoming the setting for one the most important movements in rock history. Seeking a sense of home and identity, she would discover both while moving from spectator to creator in experiencing the power and mystery of a live performance. With Sleater-Kinney, Brownstein and her bandmates rose to prominence in the burgeoning underground feminist punk-rock movement that would define music and pop culture in the 1990s. They would be cited as “America’s best rock band” by legendary music critic Greil Marcus for their defiant, exuberant brand of punk that resisted labels and limitations, and redefined notions of gender in rock. HUNGER MAKES ME A MODERN GIRL is an intimate and revealing narrative of her escape from a turbulent family life into a world where music was the means toward self-invention, community, and rescue. Along the way, Brownstein chronicles the excitement and contradictions within the era’s flourishing and fiercely independent music subculture, including experiences that sowed the seeds for the observational satire of the popular television series Portlandia years later. With deft, lucid prose Brownstein proves herself as formidable on the page as on the stage. Accessibly raw, honest and heartfelt, this book captures the experience of being a young woman, a born performer and an outsider, and ultimately finding one’s true calling through hard work, courage and the intoxicating power of rock and roll. From the Hardcover edition.

Eli Alvah Huckabee

Patrick Book

Incredibly poetic and insightful. Touches on so many personal tragedies and some triumphs, pulls back the curtain on the realities of playing in a band driven more by ideology than ambition, and talks straight about mental health and anxiety, gender/sex/orientation/body issues, and the difficulties around family and personal relationships impacted by those influencing factors. This was so, so great. And I had high hopes!

big ab

i probably would’ve enjoyed this memoir more if i was more familiar with her band, i was hoping it would be interesting regardless and parts were interesting but i wish she fleshed out a little more information on those parts.

From the guitarist of the pioneering band Sleater-Kinney, the book Kim Gordon says "everyone has been waiting for" and a New York Times Notable Book of 2015-- a candid, funny, and deeply personal look at making a life--and finding yourself--in music. Before Carrie Brownstein became a music icon, she was a young girl growing up in the Pacific Northwest just as it was becoming the setting for one the most important movements in rock history. Seeking a sense of home and identity, she would discover both while moving from spectator to creator in experiencing the power and mystery of a live performance. With Sleater-Kinney, Brownstein and her bandmates rose to prominence in the burgeoning underground feminist punk-rock movement that would define music and pop culture in the 1990s. They would be cited as “America’s best rock band” by legendary music critic Greil Marcus for their defiant, exuberant brand of punk that resisted labels and limitations, and redefined notions of gender in rock. HUNGER MAKES ME A MODERN GIRL is an intimate and revealing narrative of her escape from a turbulent family life into a world where music was the means toward self-invention, community, and rescue. Along the way, Brownstein chronicles the excitement and contradictions within the era’s flourishing and fiercely independent music subculture, including experiences that sowed the seeds for the observational satire of the popular television series Portlandia years later. With deft, lucid prose Brownstein proves herself as formidable on the page as on the stage. Accessibly raw, honest and heartfelt, this book captures the experience of being a young woman, a born performer and an outsider, and ultimately finding one’s true calling through hard work, courage and the intoxicating power of rock and roll.

Lamia Hajani

As a later fan of riot grrrl (I was born in 1994 so I didn't get much of a chance when it was still huge in the world, considering I was a newborn), I thought Carrie Brownstein's memoir was fascinating. To have an inner look into the Pacific Northwest world during the time of grunge, punk, and riot grrrl was wondrous. I am a casual Sleater-Kinney fan and I enjoy Portlandia, so I felt like this book opened a door into the life of Carrie Brownstein and made me probably a bigger SK fan. The way I decide if a book is good is if it makes me want to read other books after it, and this one made me want to delve into the world of riot grrrl from more first-person perspectives. To read that Carrie saw Nirvana at her small school, that SK toured with Pearl Jam, that The White Stripes and The Black Keys were opening bands for SK before they hit it big - that's fascinating to me.

There were some criticisms that the first part of this book is slow. I definitely agree that it's slower than the other parts, especially when Sleater-Kinney forms (because, obviously, if you're reading this, you're here for those parts mainly). I just don't think it was bad enough to make this book unreadable. I highly recommend this book for anyone that understands the value of music being political or is just a fan of Sleater-Kinney/other riot grrrl bands.

Oh, but one thing that does bother me is her lack of mentioning the transphobia of many riot grrrl bands. In fact, the times the book really bothered me is when she bemoans how bands were called out if they didn't cater to everyone. I really don't like that - being called out for being transphobic isn't nagging, it's essential if you're going to be political and be out there like that.

my favorite part about reading memoirs are when there are those universal (and extraordinarily niche) experiences that i can relate to and see myself echoed in the authors experience. this book was full of those moments. i saw myself reflected in brownstein’s need for attention and to perform as a child, in her experiences with anxiety and depression, in her relationships with her own queerness, and more. as a fan of sleater-kinney and this era of music, i deeply enjoyed this memoir and also wanna give carrie brownstein a hug 

Clara Gauthier

as a huge fan of sleater kinney that was born in 03, this was such a great book for me to learn about that era of ‘alternative’ rock music. brownstein has an amazing writing style and i think i highlighted like half of the book by the time i finished. even if you’re not a sleater kinney fan, i would say it’s worth a read.

Ron Bronson

It resembled a world and a life that I do not recognize in the remotest. Still, I guess I appreciated her for living it and having it. There's something to be said for surrounding yourself with makers, doers and the types of people doing the things you want to be doing, that you like doing and not allowing yourself to be constrained entirely by whatever governors society places on your potential or your progress.

There's also something to be said for being in the right places in the right spaces for you, at the right times. But you can't always know that.

Jeannette Ordas

What an enjoyable read! I liked S/K back in the day and I've also been a huge fan of Carrie's hair from ads & interviews in Bust magazine and other 90s mags. When she writes about wearing thrift store clothes as signifiers to an indie/scenester tribe, I can relate. When she talks about her anxiety, panic attacks and tingling, I totally get it. In a lot of other musician memoirs, you get gossip and tour stories, after reading this memoir, I really felt like I got a true sense of who Carrie Brownstein is. She's funny, intelligent and totally kick ass. All that and a great haircut to boot.

Haylie

Between school, work, and graduating - this book took me forever to finish, but I'm glad I did. As a newer (but equally passionate) fan of Sleater Kinney, I was interested to hear what the most well-known member had to say. I didn't expect the emotional roller coaster that was so well-written by Carrie. In addition, I never realized how relatable age was until the end of the book. I nearly cried.

A year and some months ago Annie Millman gave me this book to read and it is a crime it took me this long to seriously pick it up and take it in. I read this entire book today, with some breaks to do silly stuff like eat and go to work. These chapters were the perfect length that I could finish one and already could see myself staring the next. They flowed, were compelling, and kept on coming until I went to turn the page and the back cover finished the book for me. Carrie Brownstein did not have to flex on me that she got into all the MFA programs she applied for, I need that energy right now. I had not listened to Sleater-Kinney until about two hours ago (as I was 3/4 through this book) but they are all I can imagine myself listening to for at least the next week.

Pam Sartain

3.5 stars, mostly because I've never heard of the band before I read this for Our Shared Shelf! it was a good book, well written, and it felt unflinching when discussing the problems the band had!

Rachel

I really enjoyed Hunger Makes Me a Modern Girl, I like Sleater-Kinney, but definitely not a fully knowledgeable fan of their music or career. This was a great insight into the band's dynamics and Carrie's point of view on their music. She is beautifully honest in her book, she really demystifies their image in a interesting way. She's just a regular person and music is her work. Carrie talks about the sexism she experienced, that she didn't want the word female tagged on to describe Sleater-Kinney, she just wanted to be a band. She also calls out how rampant exclusivity was/is in the Washington music scene and how she became fed up with it. She's brutally honest about her anxieties and depression she experienced. It's a difficult to put into words the feeling you are left with, it's like you want to make sure she's okay. She seems to be okay though, I would of liked more about her life when SK went on hiatus and when they got back together in 2012. Overall a great book and interesting look into the music industry.

Jacqui Devaney

Carrie Brownstein is an amazing writer. It's so interesting to hear her history of the music scene in the Pacific Northwest in the 90s and about the trials and tribulations of Sleater Kinney.

Hunger Makes Me a Modern Girl A Memoir

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