Name: It Ain't Me, Babe
ISBN: 9781311613332

Tillie Cole

Salome knows only one way to live - under Prophet David's rule. Trapped in a commune and bound by her strict faith, Salome knows nothing of the world outside - until a horrific event sets her free. Styx 'River' Nash was born and bred to wear a Hades Hangmen cut. Haunted by a crushing speech impediment, Styx never lets anyone get too close, that is, until a young woman is found injured on his lot.

It Ain't Me, Babe

aleksandra

1/5

I can't do this to myself anymore. I really don't understand how I could have finished this book four years ago. It just shows how much my taste has changed over the years.

I'm sorry, but I can't read books when men describe and call women like that.


  
    "the club bitches"

"Crashing through the doors of the compound, I was seething. Several club sluts scattered outta my way—wise move."
  


Oh how I love men treating women like some insects. 


  
    “Now, don’t know ’bout y’all, but I’m getting me some pussy.”

"slut-for-the-night"

"Bitch was too soft for this kinda shit."

"Poor bitch needed to pay up to go to a better life."
  


I don’t care if they are some macho bikers with tattoos. It’s not that hard to call them 'women', or 'females', though I hate the second option.

Only a few things make me as mad as when I end up hating a book and I wasted time on it, that I could have spent otherwise. This is one of those cases – I wished I had never picked it up in the first place.

The setup is simple, but intriguing: FMC lived in a cult-commune her whole life, doesn’t know anything about the outside world and finally makes her escape after reaching the pinnacle of traumatic events there. She ends up on MMC’s doorstep, who takes her in and makes an exception out of her for basically anything.

We get it, she’s special. E-special-ly great in getting on my nerves. I tend to struggle with books where someone gets to know modern technology for the very first time, because for me that is an all or nothing situation: either you have to acknowledge she didn’t know ANY of it or you write it off as “they introduced me to xy last week”, but having her describing a TV as something so foreign but at the same time letting her operate a stereo is just not it. I don’t believe you this way. Of course, both options I mentioned are tedious and annoying but that’s what you get when you write a character who comes out of a conservative, low-tech environment and is suddenly dropped into the exact opposite of that upbringing. The way her navigating this new environment was handled in this book was simply annoying, inconsistent and not done in a believable way.

What should have been the interesting point, our poor FMC thrust into the arms of what she’s been taught must be devils or demons at least, turned very tedious very quickly: The author skips over the first month her being there, acclimating to it all in a less tense setting as half of the club is out handling business – we don’t even get to witness her healing up and coming to terms with where she is. The one point interesting about it all, the one selling point that was outstanding in comparison to other MC novels was simply never touched. How to lose a reader’s interest in the first few chapters 101.

Instead of caring for our FMC (or even taking her with him?!), the MMC pushes her into the care (and arms) of one of his brothers and subsequently gets raging over the fact those two grew to be close. Surprise? Take a person out of her usual setting, thrust her into a life that is absolutely contradictory to anything she knows and has believed in so far, leave her on her own there with someone to take care of her and then get mad when they forge a bond? Wow. Real mature there, buddy.

 Maturity in general is not our MMC’s strong suit. With someone as inexperienced in the real world and its customs and social cues and rules etc, you’d think the MMC would take our precious FMC by the hand and show her. Teach her. Be there for her. But no, he’s not. The only person who’s actually there for her, would die for her, is her friend and not the MMC. Leading up to the inevitable decision between those two men, I had nothing on my scorecard for the MMC. Not a damn thing. He didn’t do jackshit, was not there for, did not help her heal up, did not teach her anything but show her the jealousy of a male (he’s not a man, I’m sorry) who has no right to be jealous about a situation he brought everyone in.

Now that we’re already talking about Styx, he’s the least believable leader I’ve ever read about. If you have to prove every second page how superior you are, how much more brutally you deal with stuff (and people), how intense your violence is … I don’t believe you. The number of times I had to read “I am the mf hangmen mute” as if it were supposed to mean something to me, had me almost as annoyed as reading various slurs anytime a woman was part of a scene. Yes, I get it, you wanted to make it authentic that we are in a MC setting, but really? I read bitch 131 times, slut 28 times, whore 17 times. There should be a limit to how much an author is allowed to use certain words before they have to get creative or not be published at all. I’d also like to tell our MMC that respect is earned, not demanded – but maybe that’s just me.

While we’re at it: Doesn’t matter you tell me any of those close two 200 times “it’s just an endearing way of speaking about women in an MC” if the actions of the members don’t match the words. Ownership over a person doesn’t only come with perks but also with responsibility and wow, this part was missed completely. Case in point: Our MMC is incapable of controlling his very manly needs and instead of focusing on his FMC, he just does every stupid and hurtful thing you could imagine just for her to crawl back to him without having ever been shown any kind of decency by this man.

I wish I would have closed the book before she chose him over the one person who treated her well so far.

 “He was sin personified… A sin I craved… but right now I was out and out afraid of him.”

Well, this was the part about the character’s relationship, the setting in general and the MMC/FMC that made me mad, but we’re not done. The writing itself is mediocre at best. If “…” is a recurring tool you use on almost every page, mostly to switch between a coherent thought in our FMC’s brain (win the lottery if you find more than one per chapter) and the raw urge to fuck her new captor’s brains out. Te-di-ous!

 If you think the author handles her trauma, especially with sexual intimacy, well, then think again, it’s not handled at all besides our FMC stating “oh, so this is what it is supposed to be like” after being fondled by our heroic asshat of leading male character and then left to stew on her own right after. It’s just not a topic.

By the way, our MMC also never apologises. When he makes a mistake (of incredible proportions, let me add), he asks if FMC forgives him without ever having said or shown anything that would even come close to an apology. Simply spitting facts by saying “I fucked up” repeatedly does not do the trick, homeboy.

But of course, she forgives him. The gracious, loving girl. UGH.

At this point I was already so annoyed by stupid, immature, unbelievable characters that I wanted to get it over with, rate it 2 stars and never touch a book like this again. But then, oh boy, the author really had to go there and let the MMC take on neo-fascist enemies of his club, on his own of course, and while he does, she lets him (ironically, of course, ha-ha!) shout one of the most despicable and disgusting phrases used by the exact movement he was tackling. There was NO connection to him saying that there was no reason for him to say that and it just tipped the scale for me. I was done at this point. This was the exact moment I dropped my rating to the lowest possible and I didn’t care about anything after it at all anymore.

I am absolutely clueless how this book can be rated anything above 2 stars even if you ignore half the stuff I criticised. Wow.

Leonie

Only a few things make me as mad as when I end up hating a book and I wasted time on it, that I could have spent otherwise. This is one of those cases – I wished I had never picked it up in the first place.

The setup is simple, but intriguing: FMC lived in a cult-commune her whole life, doesn’t know anything about the outside world and finally makes her escape after reaching the pinnacle of traumatic events there. She ends up on MMC’s doorstep, who takes her in and makes an exception out of her for basically anything.

We get it, she’s special. E-special-ly great in getting on my nerves. I tend to struggle with books where someone gets to know modern technology for the very first time, because for me that is an all or nothing situation: either you have to acknowledge she didn’t know ANY of it or you write it off as “they introduced me to xy last week”, but having her describing a TV as something so foreign but at the same time letting her operate a stereo is just not it. I don’t believe you this way. Of course, both options I mentioned are tedious and annoying but that’s what you get when you write a character who comes out of a conservative, low-tech environment and is suddenly dropped into the exact opposite of that upbringing. The way her navigating this new environment was handled in this book was simply annoying, inconsistent and not done in a believable way.

SPOILERS AHEAD

What should have been the interesting point, our poor FMC thrust into the arms of what she’s been taught must be devils or demons at least, turned very tedious very quickly: The author skips over the first month her being there, acclimating to it all in a less tense setting as half of the club is out handling business – we don’t even get to witness her healing up and coming to terms with where she is. The one point interesting about it all, the one selling point that was outstanding in comparison to other MC novels was simply never touched. How to lose a reader’s interest in the first few chapters 101.

Instead of caring for our FMC (or even taking her with him?!), the MMC pushes her into the care (and arms) of one of his brothers and subsequently gets raging over the fact those two grew to be close. Surprise? Take a person out of her usual setting, thrust her into a life that is absolutely contradictory to anything she knows and has believed in so far, leave her on her own there with someone to take care of her and then get mad when they forge a bond? Wow. Real mature there, buddy.

 Maturity in general is not our MMC’s strong suit. With someone as inexperienced in the real world and its customs and social cues and rules etc, you’d think the MMC would take our precious FMC by the hand and show her. Teach her. Be there for her. But no, he’s not. The only person who’s actually there for her, would die for her, is her friend and not the MMC. Leading up to the inevitable decision between those two men, I had nothing on my scorecard for the MMC. Not a damn thing. He didn’t do jackshit, was not there for, did not help her heal up, did not teach her anything but show her the jealousy of a male (he’s not a man, I’m sorry) who has no right to be jealous about a situation he brought everyone in.

Now that we’re already talking about Styx, he’s the least believable leader I’ve ever read about. If you have to prove every second page how superior you are, how much more brutally you deal with stuff (and people), how intense your violence is … I don’t believe you. The number of times I had to read “I am the mf hangmen mute” as if it were supposed to mean something to me, had me almost as annoyed as reading various slurs anytime a woman was part of a scene. Yes, I get it, you wanted to make it authentic that we are in a MC setting, but really? I read bitch 131 times, slut 28 times, whore 17 times. There should be a limit to how much an author is allowed to use certain words before they have to get creative or not be published at all. I’d also like to tell our MMC that respect is earned, not demanded – but maybe that’s just me.

While we’re at it: Doesn’t matter you tell me any of those close two 200 times “it’s just an endearing way of speaking about women in an MC” if the actions of the members don’t match the words. Ownership over a person doesn’t only come with perks but also with responsibility and wow, this part was missed completely. Case in point: Our MMC is incapable of controlling his very manly needs and instead of focusing on his FMC, he just does every stupid and hurtful thing you could imagine just for her to crawl back to him without having ever been shown any kind of decency by this man.

I wish I would have closed the book before she chose him over the one person who treated her well so far.

 

 “He was sin personified… A sin I craved… but right now I was out and out afraid of him.”

Well, this was the part about the character’s relationship, the setting in general and the MMC/FMC that made me mad, but we’re not done. The writing itself is mediocre at best. If “…” is a recurring tool you use on almost every page, mostly to switch between a coherent thought in our FMC’s brain (win the lottery if you find more than one per chapter) and the raw urge to fuck her new captor’s brains out. Te-di-ous!

 If you think the author handles her trauma, especially with sexual intimacy, well, then think again, it’s not handled at all besides our FMC stating “oh, so this is what it is supposed to be like” after being fondled by our heroic asshat of leading male character and then left to stew on her own right after. It’s just not a topic.

By the way, our MMC also never apologises. When he makes a mistake (of incredible proportions, let me add), he asks if FMC forgives him without ever having said or shown anything that would even come close to an apology. Simply spitting facts by saying “I fucked up” repeatedly does not do the trick, homeboy.

But of course, she forgives him. The gracious, loving girl. UGH.

 

At this point I was already so annoyed by stupid, immature, unbelievable characters that I wanted to get it over with, rate it 2 stars and never touch a book like this again. But then, oh boy, the author really had to go there and let the MMC take on neo-fascist enemies of his club, on his own of course, and while he does, she lets him (ironically, of course, ha-ha!) shout one of the most despicable and disgusting phrases used by the exact movement he was tackling. There was NO connection to him saying that there was no reason for him to say that and it just tipped the scale for me. I was done at this point. This was the exact moment I dropped my rating to the lowest possible and I didn’t care about anything after it at all anymore.

I am absolutely clueless how this book can be rated anything above 2 stars even if you ignore half the stuff I criticised. Wow.

 

I’m mad.

Molly Morgan

** spoiler alert **
           *Make sure to check trigger warnings!*

This book was delicious. Dark, steamy, and the plot was there. I loved the cult-y aspect and the main male character being mute and communicating via ASL was something different than anything I had read before.

Lover of Romance 

This review was originally posted on Addicted To Romance

It Ain’t Me Babe is the first book in the Hades Hangman series and I haven’t read much of Tillie Cole, but what I have read I have really enjoyed. But she does write more darker, edgier reads, so fair warning, this book isn’t for you if you prefer lighthearted romances, its packed with some serious issues and I am thrilled that this author addressed these issues. Because I don’t think I have ever seen an author address “religious cults” before so I am really glad that Tillie Cole touched on this topic.

Our story begins with Styx and Mae who meet when Mae is 8 years old and Styx is 11. Styx is out working with his father and while in the forest, when he stumbles across a fenceline and see a girl who is crying and afraid. He is compelled by her beautiful “wolf” eyes and even though he can’t talk, he manages to speak to Mae just to know her true name. Now Styx and Mae are grown and their lives are very different from each other. Styx has taken over as the President of the Hades Hangmen MC and his lack of speaking hasn’t prevented him from being a good leader to the men he calls brothers.

Mae, however, has lived a life of fear, pain and humiliation most of her life. She grew up in a religious cult, and the men of the cult have raped her since she was eight years old. But when she finds her sister dying from wounds inflicted on it, she knows that everything she has been taught has been wrong. She manages to barely escape with a severe leg wound and finds herself being found by Styx and brought into their clubhouse to help her recover. But when Styx realizes that Mae is the girl that he saw all those years ago, he can’t let her go….and desires to protect her.
“I have only ever liked one boy in my life. I have only wanted one man to have as my own. I have only ever had one dream since I was eight. Styx, the dream is you. You stole my heart fifteen years ago and you still haven’t given it back.”
In “It Ain’t Me, Babe” is a dark and compelling romance that only Tillie Cole delivers and boy I had such a thrilling time reading this book. Now this book has some dark background elements, especially in the religious cult theme here. Now it also involves a MC, which offers its own dark like elements but in this book we see such a beautiful love story unravel. We see the horrible abuse that Mae has suffered and how she had to leave her sisters behind and how she awakens with her freedom and how she learns so much about herself and really grows into a strong and capable woman. I love how devoted Styx and Mae are to each other, of course, their relationship does have some bumps across the road but I love seeing them overcome those struggles and claim the love they have for each other and what they are willing to do for it.

Overall I found It Aint Me Babe to be a vibrant and edgy romance that delivers in every ways!!! A STUNNING TALE!

Mute ML, SA FL, religious brain washers villiain, absolute great writing, not my kind of book but still liked it a lot.

Prachi

bjelkis 

cris 🫀

Planeaba releer esta serie el año pasado, porque es algo que acostumbro hacer cada año. Pero por algún motivo nunca encontré el momento adecuado; hasta hoy.

Había borrado muchos detalles de la historia de mi cabaza, que me alegra volver a recuperarlos. 

Mae es una chica que toda su vida ha estado siendo cautiva de un culto. Es considerada una "maldecida" únicamente por su belleza, y por tal motivo es sometida a una vida cruel y llena de abusos. Styx (River) es el prez del más temible MC de los Estados. Depravado, malvado y lleno de oscuridad no son palabras suficientes para describir todo lo que Styx representan. Ambos viven vidas opuestas, pero son unidos por un acontecimiento en su infancia. Quince años después el destino vuelve a juntarlos. Y esta vez, para siempre.

Siempre he dicho que esta serie es muy emocional, juega duramente con todas tus emociones y por lo tanto solo recomiendo leerla siendo consiente de esto. Después de haber releído este libro por tercera vez, aún me sigue sorprendiendo todo el asunto de el culto y el sufrimiento por el que tuvieron que pasar Mae y sus hermanas. Sumándolo el hecho que todo el asunto del culto gira alrededor de hechos reales por el que pasaron mujeres reales, lo hace mil veces más llegador. 

Me encanta ver como la vida de Styx cambia desde que se da cuenta que la chica que ha llegado al club ha sido su famosa "ojos de lobo". Después de tantos años de anhelarla, al fin está con ella. Es un poco poético todo el asunto de la forma en que el destino vuelve a unirlos, y no puedo decir que me desagrade. 

Aún me sigue sorprendiendo la manera en que Tillie pudo esconder al verdadero traidor durante tanto tiempo y justo frente a nuestras narices. Y a pesar de eso, hacer que todos empaticemos con su comportamiento. 

No puedo decir mucho más de que me encanta este libro, porque a pesar que no son mi pareja favorita, es un gran libro introductorio, un mundo que es construido con tantas vertientes en unas cuantas páginas. Está todo perfectamente planteado para entender los libros por venir. Y es emotivo ver el "antes" de los personajes principales y apreciar su "después" en cada una de las historias siguientes.

** spoiler alert **
           Por alguna razón creí que esta serie comenzaría muy fuerte y no sería capaz de avanzar mucho con las historias. Sin embargo, con este primer libro descubrí un par de cosas interesantes:

La primera, es que a pesar de tocar un par de temas delicados y detallar otras cosas de manera detallada, lo sentí bastante “light” y creo que por eso me siento más animada a continuar con la serie (pero no tengo muchas ganas de leer el siguiente y solo quiero pasar directo al tercero)

Segundo: ahora necesito leer más libros sobre cultos extremista/religiosos porque me llama demasiado la atención y de verdad me quedo “loca” al ver hasta dónde es capaz de llegar el ser humano en su perversión.

Tercero: de verdad no se me cruzo por la cabeza que FLAME fuera tan… ¿loquito? no encuentro la palabra indicada para describirlo pero quedé sorprendida al leer más de él porque claramente tenía una visión SÚPER errónea del personaje. O sea, al man se le puso dura con tan solo pensar en asesinatos y sangre. 

Ahora bien, no soy fan de los “insta-love” ni de esas vainas del “destino”, pero me parece que TC se empeña en poner esas dinámicas en sus parejas en todos sus libros…

Mae me gustó muchísimo. O sea, capaz esperaba un poco más de ella, pero quitando mis “exigencias”, siento que su perspectiva fue un buen abre bocas para esta serie.

Styx para ser un MC me dio bastante igual. Creo que el único hecho que me gustó de él fue que tuviera todas estas dificultades para hablar, no lo sé, me pareció un rasgo original para la construcción de un personaje.

Creo que mi cosa favorita de este libro fue como se referían a Flame, Viking y AK. ¿El trío psico? Simplemente genial, necesito más de esos tres 

Y por último, una confesión… pero la verdad es que no me pudo importar menos el romance de Mae y Styx, y toda la primera parte del libro estuve shippeando a Mae con Rider, pero luego salió que era un soplón traidor y resultó ser el hermano Caín heredero del culto y ahhhh, qué rabia. Además, todas esas cosas que le dijo a Mae por estar con Styx? Ese pedazo de mierda 💀 ¿por qué no lo mataron? Ganas de crear drama en esta serie.

nory

styx and mae my best people i just wanna give them both a big kiss 🫂

Loulou

I don't know what to say, this is an amazing book.

vilma hakanen

JoLee

This Biker series is different from what I have ever read. Have an MC Club and their enemies a Cult. Never read anything dealing with a Cult and was pretty interesting. Heroes are rough around the edges and some are broken. They all have different personalities but have one thing in common. They are loyal and protect each other and anybody else that comes in their family. This series definitely have some touchy subjects and are graphic some more than others. Flashbacks are well done and needed to really feel what the characters have been through. All the hero/heroines stay true to their character. I always liked the covers and thought they were a bit different. Now I love them as they really portray the stories.

Rating: 4 Stars - Loved It

Thoughts: I knew going in that Styxx stutters a lot in his book. Some reviews thought it was too much and some had no issues with it. I knew I wanted to try this series but with this info I kept putting it off. Finally I was in the mood for a different kind of biker read and gave it a chance. So happy I did. Yes he does stutter a lot but it grew on me. I was right there feeling his frustration when trying to communicate with Mae as she does not do sign language. Loved that the author broke up between him signing and speaking. He has his biker brother who he signs too and felt so personal.

Tshering Yangzom

v v dark i kind of saw the plot twist coming i guess...? couldn't bear all the stuff that happened tho (including a love triangle)💀

Tanya 

This book was “chefs kiss”. I loved everything about it and I literally couldn’t put it down I read way into the night until my eyes burned & I had no choice but to stop.

I’ve never read anything about a cult before, MC stories yes but to have them intertwined was really interesting & it made for an awesome read.

As grueling as some of the details are they never crossed to far of a line for me to be disinterested with it.

I was really floored that our male lead had a speech impediment, it was a really interesting twist especially because he was a leader. I loved me some Syx, I’d ride on the back of his Harley ANY FUCKING DAY.

Mae sweet Mae I loved her, sis got a taste of the outside and showed TF out okay! Lmao

If you wanna get into something dark, steamy & funny try this out.

sade head

⭐️2.75/5
🌶2/5
I enjoyed parts of this book but I think the way it's written is some sort of acquired taste. I absolutely love mc romances but this one didn't really do it for me. I didn't really bond with the main characters all too well but who knows maybe I'll revisit this series later for another try.

Sea 

wow ok don’t know what i was expecting but i do know i wasn’t expecting to actually ~like~ this book. very excited to read the next ones sometime hopefully soon 😌

Aayusma Aryal

Nahhh this was an EXPERIENCE. It was like watching a movie or a show. I love Styx and Mae so much

leah

loved Styx and Mae so much. the whole plot and the way he saved her was honestly just perfection 

Stephanie Midolo

I don't often give books less than 2 stars unless they are offensive or dangerous, but I cannot give this more than 1 star. This book gave a completely unrealistic depiction of trauma and PTSD (re: there was no reaction at all after what should have been a traumatic experience). The main characters only ever referred to women as "bitches" which I understand is the culture, but it was unnecessary. There is no chemistry between the love interests and no progression of the relationship. On top of all of that, the writing is terrible. I wasn't expecting beautiful prose, but this is just lazy.

I was interested in some of Tillie Cole's other books, but they're going to be a hard pass for me.

Su Ah Lee

Michelle Vasquez

Best MC Series I’ve Ever Read

“You will never know, but in the two darkest moments of my life, you have shown up. You say it ain’t you who is good and who will keep me safe, but you already have. You have saved my life twice.”

Mae. A cursed. The girl with the wolf eyes. She has spent her entire life being told she was a sinner; a temptress. Endured things as a child and adult, that no woman should ever experience, but one moment in her life gave her hope; something to cling to when she was trying to escape her very harsh reality.

Styx. A Mute. The President of The Hades Hangmen’s MC. He has constantly been proving himself, and made his presence known in other ways instead of using his voice. Until the day he crossed paths with Mae, he felt safe; he felt home.

“It Ain’t Me Babe,” by Tillie Cole is book one in her Hades Handmen Series. It is a standalone dark romance in this series, and I highly recommend starting it. I will preface this by saying that it is dark; it has grit and it deals with some pretty real-life heavy content. But what else I will say is that this is probably one of the best series I have read in a long time. The emotional connection between Styx and Mae was so palpable and my heart ached for them. They found themselves both extremely out of their own elements and comfort zones- and still fought for one another. Even within this darkness they had some light peek through and give them a second chance at life, and at having someone to call home. 

Trigger warning is advised.

It Ain't Me, Babe

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