Mark Wolynn

"A groundbreaking approach to transforming traumatic legacies passed down in families over generations, by a renowned expert in the field. Inherited family trauma is currently an area of growing interest, as science increasingly explores what we know intuitively: that the effects of trauma can pass from one generation to the next, and that the answers to some of our greatest life problems often lie not within our own story, but in the experiences of our parents, grandparents, great-grandparents, and extended family. Even if the person who suffered the original trauma has died, or the story has been forgotten or silenced, memory and feelings can live on in those in the present. And while inherited physical traits are easily discernible, this emotional legacy is often hidden, encoded in everything from gene expression to everyday language"--

How Inherited Family Trauma Shapes who We are and how to End the Cycle

It Didn't Start with You

Kay so Queso

The constant looking outside of ourselves can keep us from knowing when we hit the target.

Cutting off may have been the only option you knew. Cutting off can make you feel free at first, but it's the false freedom of a childhood defense. Ultimately, it will limit your life experience.

Anger and numbness are much easier to feel than sadness and pain.

Not many of us, however, when faced with our difficulties, can use the difficulties as direction signs. Instead, we focus on alleviating the suffering and rarely travel to the source.

People often unconsciously choose a mate who will trigger their wounds. In this way, they have an opportunity to see, own, and heal the painful and reactive parts of themselves.

What lurked behind the façade of independence was simply an association between getting close and getting hurt.

Lindy

Parents, in the course of being parents, inadvertently cause their children pain. It's inevitable. The problem is not what our parents have done to us; the problem is how we're still holding on to it. Generally, when our parents caused us harm, it was unintentional.

The bigger secret is that a great love was just waiting to be excavated the whole time. It is the love passed forward from those who came before you, a love that insists that you live your life fully without repeating the fears and misfortunes of the past. It is a deep love. It is a quiet love, a timeless love that connects you to everything and everyone. It is potent medicine.

It Didn't Start with You quotes

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