How to Piss Off a Dragon Book One

Ever wonder how you get so deep into crap that you have to stop and think... nope, a shovel is just not going to be big enough to dig me out of it this time. Yep, that's the kind of girl I am. I have no filter and I more often than not open mouth and let the verbal diarrhoea pour forth. In fact, that may be how I found myself in the situation I am in right now. I'm just guessing though. I mean really, what kind of karma does a girl have to have to find herself tied spread-eagled, naked on top of a pile of gold? By the way, who in the hell has fucking stakes sticking out of mountains of gold to tie helpless women to anyway? Oh, since I am on the self-pity train... "Gold is not comfortable," I yelled aloud. A growly chuckle from the depths of my prison was the only answer I got for my outburst.I digress; it is time to go back to the beginning of this little story. Let it be a lesson to you people out there. Take this as gospel, everything I am about to tell you is the honest truth... Hi, my name is Lexi and this is how to (very easily) piss off a dragon. This is part one of a serial on how to piss off your very own dragon. It's not really that hard you know.