30 Reasons to Swipe Left

Dating has gone digital. Technology has taken over and matching online is often the new norm. Fetishes, flatulence, funerals, panic attacks, catfishing and cheats are some of the encounters I experience through my dating journey. Still, I’m not quite convinced I’ve exhausted all hope of dating success just yet, but believe me, there have been times I’ve been ready to quit dating altogether. However, the one thing that’s keeping me going is finding my happy ever after! That exists, right? With a busy work life and not much downtime to socialise, I decided to have a crack at online dating. The sound of the ping on your phone, you glance down and see the words appear ‘It’s a match’, woohoo! For your pleasure, horror (and relief that it’s me and not you), here I share with you my most intimate memoirs! I have been single for far too many years and realised after speaking to other people that we all share similar stories. If can you get past the fake profiles, the cheaters, and the 'already attached' it’s actually pretty good …well sometimes. My stories will relate to many singletons, who are currently going through the rigmarole of dating. Or maybe you already have met your partner and want to see how messy dating can be. Figuring out what is 'real' and what is 'really' testing my patience is a struggle. Is that photo of them at the top of a mountain a one-off or are they actually the perfect match for my love of the great outdoors? If a cute guy has a unique sense of bedroom fun, can they please declare it in their bio so I can swipe left and not end up discovering their fetishes after I’ve fallen head over heels. Meeting ‘the one’ is not that easy. Fairytales don’t seem to exist, although having ‘my prince charming’ fight off monsters and evil stepmothers in exchange for my hand in marriage does sound rather appealing. The grafting these days to even get a date makes fighting off mythical creatures seem like a simple task. How many more disaster dates do I have to succumb to, in order to find someone who passes the average benchmark? Oh come on! I’m running out of patience, new outfits, hope and in fact men in my area. My debut book is inspired by a personal journal detailing numerous dating disasters and a few extra mini stories from my friends who have kindly shared their stories with me for this book. For your pleasure, I will be indulging with you my intimate memoirs of thirty absolute belters.