Jenny Zhang

Sour Heart

linda

I kind of pushed through Sour Heart at the end instead of savoring it. I read this book in the late night and early morning, on my phone when I did not want to sleep, during the day when I could not bring myself to write any more.

And it felt...good.

I’ve laughed and I’ve cried.

It wasn’t just that this book resonated. I’ve read several Asian-American writers this year, some with backgrounds who were more similar to mine: immigrant parents who came as masters students, grew up in suburban homes, faced extreme academic pressure.

Sour Heart was different. It’s about the Chinatown Chinese, the kids who grow up in inner cities and surrounding areas.

Jenny Zhang does not whitewash her writing, and the beauty lies in how raw and authentic it is. There were certainly some moments when I felt uncomfortable - what Francine does to Frangie, when a gang of girls beat another innocent girl with barbed wire. However, I truly believe the profanity in Zhang’s writing is deliberate. 

For us, there rarely are houses with white stucco fences and swimming pools. Many parents don’t tuck their children into bed or read them bedtime stories at night, often because they are working multiple jobs or extra hours. The arguments, absent fathers, and feelings of isolation drive rather than deter our success. The love from our immigrant parents is a “teng ai.” It hurts to love. In one of her stories, Zhang writes “There were so many days when I came home to an empty house with nothing at all to distract me except an oozy desire to come up with all the ways I could possibly sacrifice enough to catch up to my parents, who were always sacrificing.” Our parents rarely tell us they love us, but we know they love without stipulation. 

Zhang’s book captures perfectly the essence of being an immigrant: the lack of polish, the industriousness, desire for upward ascent, flickers of hope in the adversity. It’s always sour, and often bittersweet. I am glad to have traveled with her on this journey.

Sour Heart

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