Name: Two Lies and a Spy
ISBN: 9781442481732

Kat Carlton

Sixteen-year-old Kari juggles saving her spy parents while impressing the guy she has been in love with forever.

Two Lies and a Spy

Kari plunges into the world of espionage on a mission to save her parents while trying to impress the guy she’s been in love with forever. When sixteen-year-old Kari’s dad sends her an unexpected text, she and her brother immediately go into hiding. Because when your parents are superspies and your dad declares a Code Black, it can only mean something bad. Very bad. Kari soon discovers that her parents have been disavowed and declared traitors, and she’s determined to clear their names. Breaking into the Agency seems like a reasonable plan, especially with the help of a team that includes her longtime crush, Luke, as well as her two best friends—an expert hacker with attitude and a master martial artist—and Luke’s popular, vindictive twin sister. Oh, and a new guy, who’s as cute as he is complicated…

Jamieson

STRAP IN. I GOT A RANT COMING

Listen, I don't do these much because I really can't conjure up the energy to care that much but HERE WE ARE because every now and then a book comes along that just gets you ...... fired up

And listen I know y'all thinking 2 things

1: Why did you read this in the first place?? DID I KNOW IT WAS GOING TO (PROBABLY) BE BAD? YES I KNEW buuut I read it for Around the World in 52 Books so you can't judge me gooooodbye

2: if you hated it so much explain how you read it in one sitting?? THIS IS A FAIR COP. But do you know that feeling when you're like oh my god this is so bad I have to stop reading/watching but as you say this you're hitting next episode? that was me okay


So I guess I can't say the one good thing about this book is that it's really addictive. Like I read it all in one sitting so I can hardly fault it on that front. 

BUT OH MY GOD THIS BOOK

You know how we need to leave 2012 in the past because it was a a weird and unlawful time? y e a h. I know this is a 2012 book because it literally has every 2012 trope these is Love triangle? yes. Girl on girl hate? yes. Boys with eyes that can change 12 different colours depending on their mood? ye s. the sort of abusive boy who's abusive traits are somehow supposed to be hot? ye boi

THE LOVE TRIANGLE

Ah on page 2 we are introduced to our love interests. There's Luke - tall, 8 packed, tanned, grey eyes that sometimes go blue. Rich, nice, sexy dimples. He smells "sporty and sexy" direct quote
Then there's Evan - rough around the edges, super great body also, ""funny"", mysterious, blonde, a bit of a bad boy. Probably has gold eyes

READ THIS FOR YOURSELF
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Anyway, first of all authors are seriously setting up all 16 year olds for disappointment because let me tell you from the bottom of my heart there are no 16 year olds who are this perfect super hot sexy - 16 year olds are gangly and pimply AND THATS NORMAL !! THATS GOOD !!! but they aren't fucking Abercrombie models the fuck

Okay the main character is described as being "super boring" - brown hair, brown eyes, obviously described in a negative way because of course. But don't worry, she's secretly super hot in the eyes of the boys and she will LEARN how truly beautiful she is don't worry (I probably shouldn't hate on the MC too much because she was kinda badass there was a scene where she choked a man with a child backpack strap like damn)

OKAY So lets talk about Love Triangle Member #2

EVAN KINCAID AND THE NO GOOD, VERY BAD, TOXIC MALE CHARACTERISTICS

So Evan is introduced as being the mystery student. He moved to America from London and has a super hot British accent but no one knows anything about him. 

So one of the first things he does is the old Jace Wayland "he ran his eyes slowly down my body" HELLO THIS IS NOT HOT it's like directly objectifying the MC but anyway of course it's presented as being hot and cool whatever moving on. 

So he's supposed to be super funny. Except.... his humour is always just making objectifying jokes about women. 

Ahem, I quote.

"I almost didn't recognise you, but then one thing gave you away. It's the curve of your arse, love, I'd recognise it anywhere"

(If you vomited in your mouth a little, I did too)

NEXT



OKAY SO HE LITERALLY CALLS HARRASSING THE GIRLS FUN I should note this comes after he makes a heap of jokes about how he'd like to see Luke's sister (who's 15/16) naked and how she has such good boobs ect ect AND THEN

IF THIS WASN'T BAD ENOUGH

THE OTHER BOYS LAUGH ABOUT HOW HE MADE THE "ITS FUN" COMMENT

THEY LAUGHED

BITCH WTFFFF


But ooooh boy we haven't even got to the best (most toxic) bit yet
So there's a scene where Evan comes up from behind, SLAMS THE MC AGAINST THE WALL and KISSES HER WITHOUT CONSENT. and of course the other people with her cheer because these kids haven't had the consent talk yet or some bullshit. and she physically fights him off and goes off (RIGHTFULLY SO) - she says about it "I barely restrain a snarl. I cannot even verbalize how pissed off I am"

SO THIS WOULD BE GOOD (AS IN HER ANGER ABOUT IT) EXCEPT THE KISS IS KINDA PORTRAYED AS SEXY IN A WAY AND GOOD AND LATER THERE ARE NO REPURCUSSIONS BECAUSE SHE ENDS UP BEING ALL LIKE "EVAN IS MY FRIEND AND A GOOD GUY" BITCH WTF DID YOU FORGT THE TIME HE ASSAULTED YOU I DIDNT

LACEY CARSON DESERVED BETTER 

So Luke, the li, has a little sister called Lacey. On literally page 2 the mc starts talking about how she's awful and such a bitch and soo mean and how she hates her

HELLO GIRLS HATING GIRLS ISN'T COOL ANYMORE

So Lacey is supposed to be really hot because thats how the characters describe her. She often is called "jailbait" by the main guys which is .... weird ....

So she's the Isabelle Lightwood of the book. She dresses in short skirts and has expensive lingerie and on fleek eyebrows and instead of evryone being like "wow! she's so confident rock on girl" THEY SHAME HER. SHE GETS CALLED A HO AND A WHORE AND A SLUT AND IM TIREDDDDD

Also I'm a bit Disturbed because often she author makes her flirt with older adult men and talks about how they're ogling her breats or butt which is a really ... not cool way to write your own character? Like you're literally objectifying her for adults mens gaze in your own story SO NOT COOL

Ironically, Lacey is the smartest motherfucker of all these dumb motherfuckers and she really kindly helps out the main trio so many times even though they're rude as fuck to her so keep on keeping on Lacey I am So Sorry you got reduced to this terrible trope 

APHOBIA AND GENERAL ROMANCE BULLSHITTERY

So there's a bit when the MC gets angry and the li says "god, you're beautiful when you're angry" NOO don't belittle and dismiss people's feelings like this IT ISN'T CUTE and I just FUCBJKDFGKJD FUCKING HATE THIS LINE

okay but the REAL bullshittery

First of all, she girl says she's never kissed a guy (at age 16) and the li says to her "what is wrong with you"

WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU MEAN WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU. NOTHING IS FUCKING WROJG WITH HER. NO ONE NEEDS TO KISS ANYONE IT'S NOT FUCKING IMPORTANT AND IT MEANS NOTHIN

So he starts teasing her about it and she says

"Can you stop making me feel like a freak of nature"
"But you are. What girl of sixteen has never kissed anyone?"


Ok guys, seriously, in all seriouness. I hate this so much It's such a terrible and fucking untrue message to send. Kissing people ?? is (overrated) no ok serious it's something you do IF YOU WANT TO when YOU'RE READY. And if you never want to ? thats fine you're normal. This is fucking the worst book, because the girls who kiss too much are sluts and the girls who don't kiss are "freaks of nature"

and the fucking real joke is she's SIXTEEN she's still a kid ! No, who you have or haven't kissed doesn't fucking mean anything. Some people don't like kissing or want to kiss, some people haven't found someone they'd like to kiss. THERE IS SO MANY REASON WHY YOU MIGHT NOT HAVE KISSED SOMEONE AND NONE OF THEM MAKE YOU WEIRD


AND WHAT THE FUCK SHE'S SIXTEEN

Also Evan is fucking wrong because lots of 16 year olds have not kissed anYONE AND IT'S ALL OKAY

This bit really annoyed me. Plus is was aphobic as fuck and just generally shitty I hatedd it. 

SOME DOT POINTS

- the "twist" was so fucking obvious fjghgj
- I hate Evan so much and I hope he dies in a puddle of his own bullshit
- Charlie (mc's little bro) is the One Good Thing in this book
- WHY DO PUBS LET BOOKS LIKE THIS HAPPEN WHY

My name is jamieson and on the mystery of "is this book as trash as I thought it would be" I name it fucking solved it really was. 

Honestly, me opening this up to see every trope I hate ?



So All in All I hard DO NOT REC lmfao 

Review end

Alisha E Tucker

Already purchased the sequel book! 

Love a good spy book, was definitely a bigger plot twist then what I was expecting. Loved the characters too, brother and sister bond with Charlie and Kari was perfect ❤ 

Don't know if I am shipping Kari with Luke or Evan more... guess I will find out in the next book!

Lynn Braden

At the beginning of Two Lies and a Spy, Karina and her brother, Charlie receive Code Black messages from their CIA agent parents indicating that they need to go into hiding immediately. It isn't long before both are on the run from former friends of the family who are trying to kidnap them. Kari seeks out help from her friends who all have talents that will help them find their missing parents and escape the kidnappers. When their parents are accused of treason, Charlie and Kari must find a way to prove their innocence.

This was a pretty good young adult spy adventure with lots of action and some twists. It would have been better if there was more insight into the emotions of the characters, but overall this was a good, quick read.

Two Lies and a Spy

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