Laura Nowlin

If He Had Been with Me

A love story spanning the history of two teenagers' lives and all the moments when if one little thing had been different, their futures would have been together instead of apart.

a novel

If he had been with me

Tamara Wood

Our perceptions will always be eagerly awaited

Luz Geronimo

The anticipation never escapes our perception.

how does one pull a splinter out of their minds... and even if they manage to do so can they adore them knowing the adoration is rightfully someone else's…

I want to pull Finny out of my mind like a splinter so that I can adore Jamie the way he deserves to be adored.

a love so consuming that the thoughf of losing it is painfully heartwrenching

I love him in a way I cannot define, as if my love were an organ within my body that I could not live without yet could not pick out of an anatomy book.

I see what I would have looked like if I was the sort of girl who could turn a cartwheel and have more friends than favorite books. 

"I guess I'm too big of a screwup even for you to fix,” I say. 

“You think you deserve to be sad," he says. 

"Im fine,” I say. I always am. Comparatively.

They don't see that her tension and perfection are the only things holding her together. 

mady hughes 

“I’d be wrong to say Sylvie killed Phineas. She was the instrument of his death, but not the cause. If he had been with me. Finny would still be alive. If he had been with me, everything would have heen different. But whose fault is it that he wasn't?”

payton marie

There's real life and then there are books, Autum

"I think it's just to truly love somebody before we die,” Brooke says.

Jaded

I did. You didn't answer." "Oh shit. I remember. I was at the movie with Sasha"

raia – inactive

During Job Week in fifth grade, I told the class and teacher that my career goal was to move to New York, wear black turtlenecks, and sit in coffee shops all day, thinking deep thoughts and making up stories in my head.

If he had been with me, everything would have been different.

it wasn’t as heart breaking as i thought. not really my vibe

Nicole Mills

I feel utterly hollow after finishing this book. It left me staring at the wall, reeling from everything that just happened. I’m about to put on some 

Tali ⋆.˚🦋༘⋆

I feel utterly hollow after finishing this book. It left me staring at the wall, reeling from everything that just happened. I’m about to put on some Guts by Olivia Rodrigo just to feel anything. BRB, trying to emotionally recover.

I won’t even lie in the beginning, I was eating this shit up. I was genuinely interested in what was happening. However, the ending was so garbage. The entire book is so slow paced and all of a sudden all this crazy shit happens within the last what? 20? 10? pages. Not only that but like the characters pissed me the hell off TAKE OFF THAT DAMN CROWN. Istg they talk the crowns like if it is actually significant to the story and it’s not. The characters are written like any other “weird” teenagers and it’s just so stereotypical. The random sexual stuff too like?? I swear at one point sex was being mentioned every other chapter AND THE CHARACTERS ARE LIKE FRESH OUT OF MIDDLE SCHOOL. And the fact that it ended with her trying to kill herself and then BOOM SHES PREGNANT AND IT ENDS. Genuinely, I couldn’t help but laugh when I finished it cause… 💀🙏 Anywho yeah not for me!!!

mikki ☆

Maybe I definitely was not the target audience for a cheesy coming of age romance, but this work a lot of depth, and the pacing was choppy. I didn’t really have high hopes going in however, and it was a fun frivolous little read when you know to expect that. 

it felt underwhelming and overall meaningless; I probably am not the target audience for this.

⊹ ࣪ ˖ bonnie ⊹ ࣪ ˖

tink 😵‍💫⭐

Beka Varela

This book is captivating! Laura Nowlin really has a way with words and really captured the coming of age story! I can't wait to read the sequel when it comes out!

Madii

The emotional rollercoaster was too much. I can't anymore 😭. Now I'm scared to fall that hard. 🤧

Svetlana 

Considering the first sentence reveals a major point of the book, it definitely is heartbreaking. I will say I’m not a huge fan of the writing style and honestly wanted to stop reading for that reason alone but I wanted to give it a chance still. Conflicted on how I feel about the ending overall but I do like me some teen angst. 

lily

Linara K.S

I WAS NOT AWARE! I DIDN'T FUCKING KNOW!!!
WHYYYYYYYU

radhika dhawan

remember when i said a while ago that YA books can be so incredible when they’re well written? this is not one of them

thank god I don't do DNF. Also, thankful that I didn't force myself to read it when I got bored of reading their daily mundane teenage life and all of their problems. Because turns out it's not that bad when I read this in the summer. Picked this book up again 3 days ago and managed to finish it. This book has a proper build up but the ending falls flat, in my experience. I found the turmoils of the character repetitive and I think that's what makes it tend to being bored. But, i guess it was necessary since the characters are teenagers. 

Maria

So... I loved it. Did it crush my heart and make me ugly sob? No. Did I love it nonetheless? Yes.  Something I didn't like is the fact that it's written from children's point of view which is generally not something I like reading. However, that's just a personal preference, which is why i didn't rate it lower than five stars. I love how we got to watch Autumn and Finny grow up, slowly drift apart and then find their way back to eachother again. Furthermore, I i think that the book would've been a lot better if we didn't find out in the first chapter that Finny dies. I would love thinking they are going to end up together just to get that "shock factor" when he dies. It would definitely hurt more. Also the whole misunderstanding trope is not really my cup of tea but I'll let it slide just this once. Apart from that, it's a great book and I liked it a lot.

arwen

will do everything to erase this book from my memory

This book has me bawling resenting the time that was lost and what it could’ve been utterly heartbreaking 

Danielle Annika

It is 2 am and I have class in a few hours, but I am writing this review anyway because I am fuming.

I do not only hate this book, but I am angry. This would have been a good read, great even. I started it yesterday and I devoured it today. I actually liked the characters and the pacing of the book. It was cliche and predictable in some parts but I was willing to give it 3-4 stars. At chapter 81, I was starting to feel... iffy about the book. I don't wanna spoil what happens, but that entire chapter made me uncomfortable and I was just cringing the whole time. At that point, I was like, "Okay, this will be a 2-star book for me and then I'll move on with my life." The "plot twist" happened and I'm like meh because I expected it and I didn't really care. But then the ending happened...........

I was hoping—begging that she wasn't going to do what I thought she would. She did. And just when I thought things couldn't get any worse, they did. And when I finally reached the FINAL CHAPTER when everything is supposed to make sense and everything was supposed to be wrapped up, I ended up with an ending that confused me so much. I have read the last chapter several times and I'm still so confused. One thing is for sure though, this book disappointed and angered me so much.

Catia

this book broke me. again. i loved their relationship it was so cute and im sad because they deserved better. 5⭐️

Karunika 

without you, I wouldn't have known how to write about true love.

✨I stop suddenly and close my eyes. This book is a treasure; I did not suspect it would be so good when I picked it up, but now I can feel the printed words seeping through my skin and into my veins, rushing to my heart and marking it forever. I want to savor this wonder, this happening of loving a book and reading it for the first time, because the first time is always the best, and I will never read this book for the first time ever again.

✨Perhaps he would ask me what books mean to me. I would tell him that it means living another life

✨"Come on, Autumn," he says. He makes a sound that isn't quite a laugh. "I know that you know I've been in love with you for forever. You don't have to pretend."

✨"But if I have the chance to be with you-God, Autumn, you're the ideal I've judged every other girl by my whole life," Finny says.

"You're funny and smart and weird. I never know what's gonna come out of your mouth or what you're gonna do. I love that. You.

✨If he had been with me, everything would have been different.

Mariaaa

✨For my husband, Robert;

without you, I wouldn't have known how to write about true love.

✨I stop suddenly and close my eyes. This book is a treasure; I did not suspect it would be so good when I picked it up, but now I can feel the printed words seeping through my skin and into my veins, rushing to my heart and marking it forever. I want to savor this wonder, this happening of loving a book and reading it for the first time, because the first time is always the best, and I will never read this book for the first time ever again.

✨Perhaps he would ask me what books mean to me. I would tell him that it means living another life

✨"Come on, Autumn," he says. He makes a sound that isn't quite a laugh. "I know that you know I've been in love with you for forever. You don't have to pretend."

✨"But if I have the chance to be with you-God, Autumn, you're the ideal I've judged every other girl by my whole life," Finny says.

"You're funny and smart and weird. I never know what's gonna come out of your mouth or what you're gonna do. I love that. You.

I love you."

✨If he had been with me, everything would have been different.

Maui S.

** spoiler alert **
           I cannot type what I feel about this book. So many feelings.

I wish they gave Autumn and Finn a chance.

Additional note:

IT'S EVEN MORE HEARTBREAKING THE SECOND TIME AROUND. I'll never get tired of re-reading this book.

ezmeralda 

** spoiler alert **
           I really enjoyed the uniqueness of the author's writing style and how she wrote all about the character's lives leading up to college. It felt as if you were living life with them and watching them grow up. I believe that allows you to truly connect with the characters & feel so close to them. 

This book reminds me of something I've always said my entire life. To truly live in every moment, tell people you love them, never leave someone on bad terms, etc. Because you never know when it's their last. Anything can happen, life can throw the worst curveball ever. It can hit you outta nowhere. 

Once I read that Finny had died, my heart stopped beating because it was so sudden. I believe that's the perfect transition and truly represents how things can change so easily. I can't imagine how Autumn must've felt, if he had stayed and waited one more day; he would still be alive. 

I recommend listening to this playlist while you read & even after you finish it. I believe the songs truly capture Autumn and Finny's story 

https://open.spotify.com/playlist/2SI...

Elizabeth Van Deusen

I tried to give this novel a chance after recommendation. However, I just cannot get through it. At 78% I finally surrendered this book and I DNF it. I found this book to honestly be boring and I can’t seem to wrap my head around the fact that it’s a romance novel. For me, there was not enough romance. I’m genuinely sorry to those who love this book, for my review. This book just didn’t do it for me.

If He Had Been with Me

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