Lex Croucher

'Exactly what I needed right now – a delightful, heartwarming, hilarious historical romp, overflowing with queer panic and terrible jokes. I loved it' - ALICE OSEMAN, bestselling author of HEARTSTOPPER 'Fun and genuinely funny, with lovely friendships and first-rate dialogue. Gwen and Art may not be in love, but I fell for both of them' - RAINBOW ROWELL, #New York Times bestselling author of the SIMON SNOW trilogy Winner of the Books Are My Bag Readers' Award for Young Adult Fiction _______________ Gwen, the quick-witted Princess of England, and Arthur, future lord and general gadabout, have been betrothed since birth. Unfortunately, the only thing they can agree on is that they hate each other. When Gwen catches Art kissing a boy and Art discovers where Gwen hides her diary (complete with racy entries about Bridget Leclair, the kingdom's only female knight), they become reluctant allies. By pretending to fall for each other, their mutual protection will be assured. But how long can they keep up the ruse? With Gwen growing closer to Bridget, and Art becoming unaccountably fond of Gabriel, Gwen's infuriatingly serious, bookish brother, the path to true love is looking far from straight ... _______________ 'A total rollicking delight ... Lex Croucher is one of my favourite romcom authors, and they should be yours too' - CASEY MCQUISTON, #1 New York Times bestselling author of I KISSED SHARA WHEELER and RED, WHITE & ROYAL BLUE 'Congrats to Gwen and Arthur on their permanent acquisition of my ENTIRE heart. Suffice it to say that I loved this book to a degree that's slightly ridiculous' - BECKY ALBERTALLI, bestselling author of SIMON VS. THE HOMOSAPIENS AGENDA

‘An outrageously entertaining take on the fake dating trope’

Gwen and Art Are Not in Love

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"Don't wink at him," Gwen said. "The point is to make it seem like we're getting together, not that this is some kind of... mildly incestuous free-for-all."

"Hullo, you old bastard," he said flatly. "Shagged any of your sisters lately?"

"I've died," Arthur said dramatically from the floor. Gwen snorted.

"Not yet. But if I kill you now, I can just say you choked on your own vomit and nobody will be any the wiser." 

"Arthur is very sensitive about the fact that we're the same height," Gwen said to Gabriel by way of explanation. "He exaggerates, because if I'm a gigantic women, then he can pretend he's an average sized man."

"So you don't want any wine then," Sidney said. Gwendoline gave him a withering look. 

"I'm going back to go back to my bedroom to read," she said. "You can sit out here and drink as much as you want. Just let me know when our great romance is over for the evening." 

So far, this is the kind of book you know eventually picks up so you're just reading to get to that part. Also did this book even have an editor.

...already rehearsing the charming niceties key to the acquisition of snacks

Oh, author must have CACKLED writing this.

"Let's just agree to be straight with each other," he said slowly.

"I am living with the consequences right now," Arthur said bitterly. "I am drinking juice with the consequences."

'There's no separating the two,' Gabriel said quietly. 'I 

"I'll be the judge of that. I'm very familiar with stupidity."

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