Laisrathera

● Gimme Gimme Gimme We Want to Read this One Yesterday Buddy Read (GGGWWtRtOYBR™) with my Dearest of Wives and our Favorite Stalker, over at the MacHalo Mansion ● So I've been trying to figure out why the fish I love this series so bloody shrimping much. I mean, it's neither gloriously dark nor deliciously violent, and the characters are not orgasmically screwed-up. To make things worse, there is that whole Repulsive Light Cute and Comfy Read (RLCaCR™) thing going on. It's pretty disgusting, really. And quite logically, I should have felt like killing the whole series with fire. Okay, that might have been a bit extreme, this being my preferred treatment for PNR Crap that Slightly Turns me Into a Ferocious Homicidal Maniac (PNRCtSTmIaFHM™), but stomped on the series a little I definitely would have, in saner circumstances. Only I've obviously lost it, and find myself on the verge of almost nearly fangirling over this series. So the question is, why? Well I did some hard thinking (yes, it did hurt, thank you very much) and… Euraka and stuff! I saw the light! (view spoiler)[ Don't worry, it only happens once in a century or so (hide spoiler)] The reason I love this series so much? Reese Eddings, our most scrumptious heroine, is me. And I'm not saying that because I'm as scrumptious as she is (or is it the other way around? I forget). Oh no, absolutely not. I'm saying that because both of us are delightfully stubborn and unpleasant and annoying and grumpy and acerbic and standoffish (aka absolute perfection) on the outside, and distastefully fluffy and fuzzy and cozy and warm (aka utter despicability) on the inside. Yes, my Little Barnacles, it is very sad but it is very true. Reese and I hide beneath an armor of maliciously sarcastic, antisocial, irritating, aggressive grouchiness, when we really are naught but frail, harmless, compassionate, caring, gentle, overly romantic fluffy bunny wannabes in the search of BFFs and undying luuuuuurve! No, no, no, jesting with you I am not. Cross my black, withered heart, hope to die and all that crap. Reese really is me. The only difference between our most wondrous heroine and my little self is that I don't have a crew of furry people with a thing for deliciously progressive sexual practices at my disposal. Oh wait, I have the MacHalos, it's pretty much the same thing, right? Right. And, like Reese, all I need to reveal my inner fluffy bunny is for a damsel in distress space elf-prince-doctor-spy in constant need of being rescued to show me the way. Okay, so space elves with telepathic abilities aren't very common in these parts, but I have Fleet Admiral DaShrimp, which is close enough. Then again maybe not. I mean, he's probably not as sexy as Hirianthial here, but what can a crustacean do? Sigh. My subaquatic life sucks so much. But anyway. Oh, there is something else Reese and I don't have in common: her slight obsession with Exotic Alien Romances. But hey, I survived read the Duke and I, which I'm sure is worth at least 10,000 of Reese's crappy delightful books. See, our most wondrous heroine and I are so alike, we could be twins or something. Ergo, Reese is me and this series is slightly awesome. QED and stuff. Just like me. Okay, so Reese being me (view spoiler)[← just rehashing a little bit in case you missed this the previous 1000 times I said it. You're welcome. (hide spoiler)] is one of the reasons why this series/book/bottle of whisky is so full of Bloody Shrimping Awesome (BSA™). Some Other Most Glorious Reasons (OMGR™) include: ✔ Action! Adventure! Revolution! Entertaining stuff! ✔ Asshole dragons and traitors and slavers and pirates, oh my! ✔ Most marvellous and slightly magnificent character development. ✔ Creatures and species so diversely luscious I want to adopt them all. For those clueless barnacles who missed the previous episodes: all Fliztbe and Harat-Shar are MINE. Thank thee kindly. ✔ Friendship and camaraderie and family not always being blood and bloody hell this is so disgustingly heart-warming I think I am going to throw up. ✔ One of the best cast of characters in the history of best casts of characters. ✔ Matriarchal space elven society (yes, that is a thing) where men are naught but glorified studs. It's so beautiful I might cry tears of blood. ✔ Despicably vile, deranged, cowardly bastards who need to die a thousand horribly painful deaths. That's the spirit! ✔ Multi-purpose, kinetic energy-rechargeable, shape-changing swords. Use them to sever heads! Or to finely chop onions! Buy one today! They're the best thing since barnacle toasters lightsabers! ✔ Misbegotten cretins with a thing for fur. ✔ Fighting xenophobia and bigotry. Overcoming racial, social and cultural differences. Forgiving thy enemy, giving bitches from hell second chances, and other revoltingly considerate ideas of the sort. EW EW EW. ✔ HAHAHA scenes and dialogues and banter and stuff. ✔ Camouflaged space elves (don't ask). ✔ Spoiled, selfish, arrogant, naïve, stupid brats who deserve to be rigorously punished for being so spoiled, selfish, arrogant, naïve and stupid. ✔ Pornographic reunions. ✔ Original, creative, fascinating, I Could Read About This Forever (ICRATF™) world universe. And I will. Read about this forever, I mean. Because Hogarth has written so many stories in this world that I now have enough reading material to last me three space elf lifetimes. At least. And believe me, my Delightful Decapods, that is a veerrryyyyyy loooooong time indeed. And now for a dancing break. Told you I was really a fluffy bunny wannabe on the inside. Okay, so at this point you probably think I've slightly lost my mind here, what with all this silly RLCaCR™ business (view spoiler)[ what? You don't remember what that acronym stands for? That's so sad. (hide spoiler)]. And yet, this is not the worst of it. Oh no, far from it. I'd advise you to sit down here. I'm pretty sure you're going to faint massively in a second, and wouldn't want you to hurt your little exoskeletons selves in the process. Ready? Here goes. The worst of it is: this series ends in a blaze of loathsome, most abhorrent, decidedly sickening Lovey Dovey HEA of Doom and Oblivion (LDHEAoDaO™). AND I BLOODY SHRIMPING LOVED IT. Run, my Little Barnacles, run! The apocalypse is coming! » And the moral of this Exotic Alien Romances are Severely Underrated Crappy Non Review (EARaSUCNR™) is: Reese dear, if you weren't already me, I'd want to be you when I grew up. · Book 1: Earthrise ★★★★ · Book 2: Rose Point ★★★★★ · Book 4: A Rose Point Holiday ★★★★