Lori Gottlieb

The NPR commentator and author of the best-selling Stick Figure describes her realization that she was prioritizing the wrong qualities in her search for a life partner, in an unstinting account that draws on the positive and negative responses to her 2008 Atlantic article.

The Case for Settling for Mr. Good Enough

Marry Him

Sarah Vaughan

The premise of this book - if you think you are a special human being who is entitled to a relationship with a non-existent human who does not have flaws, then you may end up alone. 

The second premise of this book - if you are the type of person who is always waiting to see if something or someone better will come along - whether it be a job or a person or a sweater - you will end up unhappy. 

And I happen to agree. 

As a 27-year-old who values marriage and family but is also very much interested in being in a stable, mature relationship for the right reasons, the insights the author offered are spot-on in my opinion. I see and know far too many women passing up men with jobs they are passionate about because they don't make enough money, or looking for a lawyer who doesn't work 60 hours a week and also is not ambitious but is a little assertive but also a nice guy who likes kids and is romantic but not too romantic. Even writing that makes my head spin. How there are people who think they will end up happy with checklists of Mr. Right like this is beyond me. 

Here's the thing. None of us are perfect, and we're not going to find someone who is. Marry someone who would make a great husband and father - if you want children - not someone who would make or does make a passionate and romantic yet unreliable boyfriend. Life is short, and it's hard. Find someone who is kind, patient, who believes in compromise, and who cares about you. Many happily married couples didn't have love at first sight moments, and many happily divorced couples did. 

Don't waste your 20s and 30s passing up perfectly nice men because you are holding out for unrealistic expectations. That's not to say you should marry the alcoholic, or the unemployed guy. You shouldn't. But don't pass up the guy who's a little awkward, or the one who's experiencing premature baldness. Because guess what. At some point, we're all going to be old and bald, and at that point, you'll wish you'd pick a great person to share your days with.

Duality Diva

Anyaconda

The NPR commentator describes her realization that she was prioritizing the wrong qualities in her search for a life partner, in an unstinting account that draws on the positive and negative responses to her 2008 "Atlantic" article.

Marry Him The Case for Settling for Mr. Good Enough

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