Name: Paperweight
ISBN: 9789876129879

Meg Haston

Stevie feels trapped in her life and in her body. She is stuck in a rehabilitation center for teenagers with eating disorders and, what's worse, she is stuck in the past. In just 27 days it will be one year since her brother's death. Perhaps in 27 days all her problems will be solved. Perhaps in 27 days she will no longer feel anything or even be alive. This very realistic debut novel contains commentary and advice by a specialist in eating disorders.

¿cual es el peso de la culpa?

Paperweight

In the vein of Laurie Halse Anderson's Wintergirls, this emotionally haunting and beautifully written young adult debut delves into the devastating impact of trauma and loss. Seventeen-year-old Stevie is trapped. In her life. In her body. And now in an eating-disorder treatment center on the dusty outskirts of the New Mexico desert. Life in the center is regimented and intrusive, a nightmare come true. Nurses and therapists watch Stevie at meal time, accompany her to the bathroom, and challenge her to eat the foods she's worked so hard to avoid. Her dad has signed her up for sixty days of treatment. But what no one knows is that Stevie doesn't plan to stay that long. There are only twenty-seven days until the anniversary of her brother Josh's death—the death she caused. And if Stevie gets her way, there are only twenty-seven days until she, too, will end her life. Paperweight follows Stevie's journey as she struggles not only with this life-threatening eating disorder, but with the question of whether she can ever find absolution for the mistakes of her past…and whether she truly deserves to.

Wes Michaud

this book was something it made me feel many emotions and from the other reviews I've seen the ED rep was good to add to that around the time I was reading this I watched a documentary on EDs in my current health issues class and a lot of the daily routine stuff that happened in the book happen i the documentary

This is a honest book though. I learned some things about E.D

Melissa Palmer

Book #95 Read in 2015
Paperweight by Meg Haston (YA)

Stevie is sent to a rehab facility for girls with eating disorders. Of course, Stevie doesn't think she has an eating disorder. She is also planning on committing suicide on the upcoming anniversary of her brother Joshua's death. Stevie feels guilty that he's dead. At the rehab, she slowly becomes friends with her cottage mates and slowly begins to open up to Shrink, her name for Anna, her therapist. How does someone overcome such emotionally wrought issues? Similar to Laurie Halse Anderson's book Wintergirls, this book looks at eating disorders with brutal honesty. Paperweight is well written and would be a hit with high school girls and adults alike. I received a copy of this book from the Amazon Vine program in exchange for a honest review.

http://melissasbookpicks.blogspot.com

Hannah Yang

Wow. 


I'm really not quite sure how to write this review. Paperweight was exactly what I expected but somehow exactly opposite of what I expected. Reading it felt so raw and real. It was almost dangerous in that when I read Paperweight, I completely understood Stevie and how she felt (meaning, I could understand why she wanted to starve herself, and felt like she actually could have been making the right decisions for herself, even when she clearly wasn't). 

Paperweight is the story of seventeen-year-old Stevie, who believes that she is responsible for her brother's death. The one-year Anniversary for his death is coming up in twenty-seven days and it has been her plan to end her life on the same day. However, her plan is ruined when she gets sent to an eating disorder facility, where she meets her therapist, Anna, and is forced to eat the foods she's spent so long avoiding.

So much happens in Paperweight that there were times I had to put the book down, think about it all, take a few deep breaths, then re-immerse myself into Stevie's story. It didn't tiptoe around problems and make things like anorexia, bulimia, or suicide seem small. Paperweight kind of throws these huge things at you without waiting for you to adjust. It's definitely not as light and fluffy as the beautiful cover suggests.

I really enjoyed reading the flashbacks Stevie had so that we could understand how she became the way she is. A lot of books sort of just skip the backstory and go straight into oh-she's-sick-we-gotta-help. I think knowing the backstory made the situation more easy to understand. Also, the backstory tells us why she believes she killed her brother (and ever since reading the blurb I've been dying to know how he died. Sounds horrible, but admit it - you wanted to know too.)

The writing was amazing. I didn't find any annoying quirks or weird grammar things or anything, so gold star for that! 

And the characters. Oh. My. Goodness.

Stevie was the main character of this book, of course. I loved being able to watch her grow and fall back to her original plans, watching her falter and hesitate and take little steps to recovery. I think her recovery was very realistic because it wasn't just "nononononoYES" (persisting to harm herself, then suddenly something happens and she recovers), it was more like "noononoyesnonoyesnoyesnononoyes" (constantly changing). 

At first, Stevie was very judgemental of everything/everyone at the start, from Anna, her 'shrink' to Ashley, her bulimic roommate. She refused to improve and was constantly complaining about how no one understood her. I hated how she congratulated herself after realizing she lost weight. However, I'm sure that realistically, it would feel that way. But Stevie made huge developments throughout the story and I know it sounds strange, but I'm so proud of her. She became so much more likable and grew healthier by the end. I think it was really worth reading the process of how she got to recovery because it was definitely a bumpy road, and she learned so much.

Eden was Stevie's 'friend' who Stevie considers somewhat responsible for her brother, Josh's, death. I won't spoil too much on that. I think that the complexity of Eden: how much Stevie relied on her, but how dangerous Eden became for her, was really a huge part of the story and Eden was so interesting to read about. An amazingly well-written character. Loved it (definitely did not love what she did, though).

Josh(ua) was Stevie's brother, and although we don't technically see much of him, his character plays a significant role in this book! We get to see most of Josh's character via memories, and partially revealed when Stevie thinks about him. Josh is such a good older brother, just saying. Because of how little he was actually in the story, I can't really say much for or against him, but I do think that what we did see of him was well developed and I thought he was a good character overall.

Anna was Stevie's therapist at the facility. I really liked reading her conversations with Stevie and she was a brilliant therapist. She wasn't condescending, she had some humor, and she played a huge role in encouraging Stevie to recover. I also liked how as a character, she wasn't just developed personality-wise, she had her own little quirks, like the paper cranes. Anna was very supportive of Stevie and I think her character was excellent.

Ashley was Stevie's roommate. She was sweet and so nice to Stevie, and my heart ached for her when she got stressed about her parents coming. I really think that Ashley and Stevie had a very special relationship. You could tell that Stevie was reluctant in becoming closer to Ashley, but they did genuinely care about each other and Ashley was a great supporting character to have, just as well developed as anyone else. I am curious as to her evening jumpiness -- I thought it would be related to some other problem she might have developed in the story, but it's pretty much just solved with Stevie's sleeping meds. If there was more on the jumpiness, I would be really happy because it's something that intrigued and concerned me.

The rest of the characters - Cate, Teagan, Rain, Hannah, etc... they were all well developed and each have their own personality. My favorite side character was Cate, because she seemed so fragile but really was a good friend. (I also liked her rebellious side when she led everyone to the pool). I felt the worst for Cate because she didn't have a specific reason for becoming anorexic, and when she said that she wished she had a bad thing happen to her so she had a reason, and Stevie lashed out at her, I felt so sorry for her because Cate's story is just as sad as Stevie's. She had a happy family and a happy life and she is still destroying herself.

Anyways.

Paperweight is not a light read. It's dark. And it will most likely make you feel pretty sick inside when you read about all these girls and their horrible stories. It's extremely well-written and could be a tearjerker. I would definitely recommend it if this is the kind of book you like but it may trigger unhealthy behavior to some readers, given how bluntly the story is delivered. That being said, it's a really really good book. Just not one that will suit everyone.

it was inspiring and emotional and it made you think 

Esther Dickson 

Izza

Mark-Olivier

It was a great book. Not the best I've read, but a good one. I had little troubles to love the characters, but I did love the story. The past intertwined with the present... The character development was really present. Following Stevie throughout every step of an ED recovery AND grieving was really interesting. I liked it. During my reading, I could see the message that was transmitted by the characters, etc. It is okay to feel emotions, we just need to find balance.
We are all a little fucked up.

Emelie

Sven Test

When I read the synopsis, I knew I had to request this book. Some personal issues in my life, which some of you have read about previously on this blog, have led me to love these types of books so I went in with high hopes. That's the thing, guys. You cannot go in with high hopes or it is a very high chance you will be disappointed.

Stevie can be described as a very complex character whom I thought I would love as the story progressed, yet I didn't. I didn't feel any emotional pull towards her. I tried to like her and would even forgive things she would do but she still irked me a lot. I couldn't comprehend what was going on through her head, which to be honest happens quite a lot with real life people. There were two characters I loved in this story and they are Ana, the shrink and Ashley, the roommate. Ana is what every aspiring Psychologist should look up to. Yes, she did quite a few minor things that are not okay by the APA (American Psychological Association) but she did everything she could to help Stevie. There are times where you even see her shedding a tear for Stevie because she truly cares. Do you know how hard it is to find a psychologist who truly cares about you? You'd be surprised how difficult it is to find one. The ones that are lucky to have one like Ana, should treasure them 110%. Then there is Ashley, another character who is a bit complex but is easy to love. In the beginning, Stevie didn't quite like Ashley, which even led me to dislike her a bit but then I realized I was being stupid since Ashley is probably the best friend Stevie could have asked for in a place where she is. Ashley looks out for Stevie like no one has ever done, besides her brother. She is another character that cares for Stevie and is there for her.

Now let's talk about the characters I didn't like and one of them is Eden. Eden is Stevie's friend from before she went into treatment and let me tell you, I wasn't fond of her at all. While reading about her, I felt like she thought she was above everyone else and she would toy around with people's emotions. I also didn't like Stevie's mom. She abandoned Stevie and her dad after the funeral and they hadn't heard from her in a while. She also didn't care about anyone but herself, or at least that's how she was portrayed to me. It shows why Stevie has the behavior she has when it comes to her body image. Yes, it is Stevie's mind and it was her choice, but sometimes the people that surround us play a role in how we act. In this case, Stevie didn't receive love from her mom—only from her brother and father. This could lead to many negative thoughts running through ones head and in this case, it leads Stevie to take a negative action.

I have to warn some of you. This book has some triggering parts to those that suffer from Anorexia and/or Bulimia Nervosa and those who Self-Harm or have suicidal thoughts. I want to put that out there because people do get triggered by these things, even if it tries to portray a positive message in the end. With that said, even with my rating, I recommend teens to read this book—the reason being that it deals with many things that sometimes teens tend to be ignorant about, even adults. This book could serve as a learning material to some and even on how to deal with someone who suffers from the subjects mentioned above. These subjects are very serious and shouldn't be taken lightly. It was inspiring to read that this story was based on the author's experiences at a treatment camp, which makes you realize that these things do happen in real life, no matter how frustrating a person can get.

Struggling to deal with her mother's abandonment and a past she refuses to confront, Stevie knows she has problems. But she's still furious about the fact that she's been packed off to a health clinic, in the middle of nowhere, where mobile phones are banned and communication with the outside world is strictly by permission only. The regimented and obtrusive nature of the clinic is torture to the deeply private, obstinate Stevie - and don't even get her started on the other 'inmates'. All she wants is to be left alone. But as Stevie is about to find out, life is full of surprises. And she will prove herself stronger than she knows - even when her past finally catches her up in the most shocking and brutal way possible. Hard-hitting and intriguing book covering anorexia, friendship and hope with a bit of a twist. Based on her own past, MegHaston now works as a counsellor at a women's clinic and a school in Florida. From the author of HOW TO ROCK BRACES AND GLASSES which inspired a Nickelodeon series.

harper fitzpatrick

this book was good. the main character was believable. the author's depiction of anorexia nervosa was realistic and clearly well researched, with a great deal of sensitivity to the illness. 

any book about mental illness has the duty to portray that illness faithfully and i felt that this book did just that. it realistically portrays the triggering incidents that lead to stevies's anorexia without it being overblown. i liked "sitting in" on her therapy sessions. stevie's reactions to things were also believable, and i like the subtle insinuation into our beliefs of the illness.

the thing is, these illnesses do have a trigger. one does not wake up one day and start hating themselves. anyone with a poor body image will understand, there's got to be an event, a careless phrase, a trigger for all of this to start. it doesn't even have to be about losing weight. anorexia is about control. control is power. restricting food from a body, starving for it, is the ultimate act of control. for someone who feels helpless, anorexia is the last resort. often literally.

i felt that stevie's feelings and her perverse pride in her own thinness were so well-done. when we look at someone with anorexia, bones exposed, skin dry and colourless from malnutrition, we see someone sick, someone to pity. stevie's main feeling towards her own anorexia was pride to the point where she sinks into despair at the thought that she "only" has bulimia, that she isn't thin enough to be categorized as anorexic.

a competição entre todas as internadas para ser a mais magra parte me o coração 

taci

super realista 

a competição entre todas as internadas para ser a mais magra parte me o coração 

elif sinem

4.5.

I finished this in two days. I... I've said at the start that this isn't an easy read - this book is eating disorders, told by a character that is very, very down mentally, hard on herself and on others - but it's an immensely compelling read, and the prose is easy enough to get sucked into it. I needed to know what happened next. I needed to know if Stevie would make out if it all today, so much so that I spoiled myself the end just to brace myself for any kind of heartbreak. I needed to know what got her here. I needed to know -- everything. And also, I cried at the end. (If you know what I cry about, you'll know what the end is - that's all I'll spoil you with.)

I think more than anything what this book did really well was to not dramatize the disorder and to enlighten the reader about what an ED is really about. I mean I had read about this kind of thing when I was younger, but not in this kind of detail and not with this kind of account. Having a character like Anna to be there for Stevie really helped, too. I was reminded of We Are Okay by Nina Lacour while reading, and where this novel wins is that Stevie is truly a *character* every step of the way, the past was very compellingly told, and the present tense was great as well. We had more time, or at least it felt that way for me, and that was great, too. You just need time for this kind of thing, or at least breathing room to turn the next page. 

I think what keeps me from a 5/5 is the prose. Not that it's bad! But it's not above and beyond, and the style was... not outstanding, let's put it that way. Everything else -- nothing but praises from my side. Definitely my favorite non-SF/F YA as of right now.

tynka

** spoiler alert **
           wow okay wow
it's hard to describe how i'm feeling after this book, because it was really beautifully written but at the same time it was so sad and it hit me so hard. throughout the book i was wondering how it will end... i didn't know if it would be a happy ending, neutral or just really really sad. and i'm happy with this one... its a hopeful ending which leaves u with the feeling of 'we did it' and acceptance i guess. but overally i'm grateful for reading this book, because it made me look at things at least a little from a different point of view.

Eleanor Luhar

https://bookmarkedreading.wordpress.c...

This. Book. Is. Amazing.

There aren't enough books about such serious and common topics like this. I'm not going to lie, I found this rather hard to read due to how it brought back so many personal memories for me. I should warn any potential readers that this book includes a log of negative language about body image, mentions of self-harm and suicide, and a lot about eating disorders and behaviours.

Stevie, a 17-year-old girl who's mother left and brother died, has her self-destruction plans halted when her father sends her to an eating disorder treatment centre. This book follows her through a twenty-seven day period of pain and conflicting thoughts and emotions.

Throughout Stevie's time at the treatment centre, the reader is told about her life through little snippets here and there. We learn about her behaviours and thoughts as her eating disorder developed, about the day her mother left, and the time around her brother's death.

Stevie is carrying so much guilt and pain, and all she wants is to disappear on the anniversary of the accident. But her shrink, Anna, is desperate to help her live her life.

This book is so accurately written. The things Stevie thinks and does often reflect myself and people I've known while really struggling with eating disorders. The daunting prospect of recovery looms over her, making her unsure of what her goal really is. She was so sure she wanted to die... But now she's met Ashley, and Anna, and rethought her plan. What once seemed so simple and obvious, Stevie is no longer sure she wants.

Paperweight is so emotional, accurately telling the story of Stevie's personal experiences with an eating disorder as well as her struggles after her mother moved away and her brother was killed. It combats so many topics that I've rarely seen in other books, and is just so greatly written... I love it. 5 stars!

Nadia Leontescu

This was definitely emotionally hard-hitting, but I really enjoyed the chapter/day organization of the book, as well as how real it felt.

Christiana cook

** spoiler alert **
           this book is a journey, from getting to know the character and looking into her thoughts and why she wanted to die. A look through forgiveness and coping with grief. The ending kept me at the edge of my sea and was a very easy read. At times this book could be a little hard to read and can definitely be seen as triggering, despite this I felt it came to the conclusion of finding things to live for, that if you don't want to live for yourself, live for your family and the friendships/relationships that you make.

Laura

This was an impulse book, only $.99 on Amazon Kindle. I was thinking about reading something along the same lines as The Sky Between You and Me, and this book in particular got good reviews, so thought mind as well. I ended up enjoying it quite a bit more than I thought I would.

I felt both like I hadn't read this story before and I have. The unoriginal aspects were the setting, and the shrink character. The therapist was your basic hippie/free spirit kind of character that doesn't really work for me, and the hospital seemed kind of loose for an eating disorder center. In my head, I was comparing it to JJ Johnson's Believarexic or Sherry Shahan's Skin and Bones, both of which seemed like more of a realistic depiction of being hospitalized with an eating disorder and having your meals planned out for you instead of being allowed to chose whatever you want. I also felt like I had heard the story of whole plot of Stevie blaming herself for her dead brother before- it's a pretty common YA plotline, and the intense borderline-relationship friendship between two girls is also a tired YA trend.

But other than that, a lot about this book was unique. I thought Stevie's reasons for having an eating disorder were different, especially how her mother was responsible for a lot of that. It's rare that YA novels actually blame the mother for anything, it's usually the father that shoulders most of it. And I liked how it showed an abusive female-female relationship/friendship. It's never really clarified as to what Eden meant to her- Stevie treats it more as an intense friendship, and seems more desperate for a friend all her own than an actual romantic relationship and the only way to keep Eden as her friend is to act romantically to her. It even seemed to be a little rape-y (a phrase I hate but works in this context) during a couple of the scenes where Stevie does not want Eden but Eden keeps forcing herself on Stevie, though she doesn't physically or verbally say no.

Continue reading this review on my blog here: http://bookwormbasics.blogspot.com/20...

What doesn't kill you makes you stronger. Struggling to deal with her brother's death and a past she refuses to confront, Stevie knows she has problems. But she's still furious about the fact that she's been packed off to a health clinic, in the middle of nowhere, where mobile phones are banned and communication with the outside world is strictly by permission only. The regimented and obtrusive nature of the clinic and its staff is torture to the deeply private, obstinate Stevie - and don't even get her started on the other 'inmates'. All she wants is to be left alone... But as Stevie is about to find out, life is full of surprises. And she will prove herself stronger than she knows - even when her past finally catches her up in the most shocking and brutal way possible.

Paperweight ¿cual es el peso de la culpa?

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