Goodbye to the Nervous Apprehension

Across eleven essays, Michael Heald compulsively measures himself against men like Eli Manning, Ryan Gosling, and Stephen Malkmus, and always comes up short. After a decade of failed relationships, estranged siblings, and abandoned hopes, he may or may not have learned his lesson. Goodbye to the Nervous Apprehension is not nearly as depressing as any of this sounds. "Sneaky deep" - The Oregonian "Truly brilliant" - The Baltimore City Paper "Fiercely observant" - The Portland Review "A kind of field guide to Heald's twenties. In his telling, this is a decade of self-definition and self-discovery -- a time that's both painful and thrilling. Above all, Goodbye is about dealing with disappointment, and learning how to embrace a life that doesn't fit the pattern you'd set for yourself.” —Think Out Loud, Oregon Public Broadcasting “Michael Heald is not a big guy, but he’s got huge balls. In these tales of fumbling young adulthood—written in quick, limber, lacerating prose—he peers deeply into the mess of ambition, privilege, envy, and horniness that defines our endless American adolescence, and comes out with something like wisdom.” —Jon Raymond, author of Rain Dragon and Livability “Full of compassionate warmth and just a little bit of snark, this great debut might steal your heart and/or break it.” —Kevin Sampsell, author of A Common Pornography “Michael Heald is a fearless writer. These sharply observed essays—about intense adolescent friendships, terrifically awkward sex, and the peculiar psychic pain of knowing famous people but not actually being one oneself—are funny and sad and wistful and shrewd. At their heart is a deep exploration of ambition, and of how we decide who we want to become.” —Emily Chenoweth, author of Hello Goodbye “Michael Heald is raw and funny, hopeful about all the wrong things, afraid of what might actually save him; he transcends everything but his own agonizing perception of self.” —Vanessa Veselka, author of Zazen “An insightful journey through the cultural landscape, Goodbye to the Nervous Apprehension captures perfectly the strain of those post-college years, especially for those of us who insisted on maintaining a consistency between our youthful artistic selves and our eventual adult personas.” —Blake Nelson, author of Girl and Paranoid Park