Michael Moorcock

Elric of Melnibone

Fraser Simons

The world, and Elric himself, are stuffed with some of the most imaginative and evocative elements I’ve read. The structure also works to subvert reader expectations. The only problem with these subversions was—at least for me—that they were only successful in so far as I am vaguely familiar with fantasy and cliches about the world. Loved the anti-hero angle and the fact that even at the end he still doesn’t listen to people who were consistently right about what he should do and it’ll all probably end terribly. 

The subversions decoupled what I knew about that stuff so didn’t know the rules of the world enough to appreciate some of what was going on, probably. Both the villain and Elric’s love interest felt a bit one dimensional because they mostly were in service to irony and subversion that made the characters kinda meh.

Sarah Escorsa

➽ And the moral of this reread is: Elric's, um, beloved cousin Yyrkoon The Gentle and Magnanimous is one of the most underrated villains in the history of Most Underrated Villains (MUV™). Because I said so and stuff.



Why of course you do, my darling Yyrkie. That's why you're such a scrumptiously delicious villain and stuff. Now be a dear and ditch the Skeletor costume post haste, will you? You don't want to ruin your street cred, do you now? That's a good boy!

P.S. Pigs, Snake and Thing FTW!



[January 2019]

🏰 A Scarlet Citadel That Was But Is No More Sob Sob Sob Buddy Read (SCTWBISMSSSBR™) with Elena and Beige 🏰

Okay, so there’s this guy called Elric. (Just pointing this out in case some Clueless Barnacles are in a boozy daze and missed the title of this book and stuff.) He’s a Super Hot Albino Dude (SHAD™) *waves at her ex-boyfriend Geralt of R.* with flesh the color of a bleached skull, milk-white long hair (because he’s, you know, an albino and stuff) and very sexey red eyes. (Told you he was Super Hot.) Elric descends from a long line of deliciously ruthless dictators well-meaning Sorcerer-Emperor chaps who have been mercilessly ruling spreading their love and compassion over the world in general and the island of Dragon…err…Isle in particular for ten thousand years and stuff. Oh, and by the way, there are, um, you know, dragons in Dragon Isle. I kid you not. (They were feeling a little lethargic and sleeping off their latest Mikonos escapade in this book, and therefore weren’t around much, so don’t get all excited, you dragon fangirls/fanboys/fanwhatevers.) 



See what I mean?

Anyway, Dragon Isle and its wonderfully amoral mostly benevolent leaders and stuff. Poor Elric must be the unluckiest Albino Sorcerer Emperor ever, because the kingdom he inherited is kinda sorta on the decline and about to get its lovely derriere kicked six ways to Sunday before last by the emerging nations of the Young Kingdoms (aka Puny Humans, Inc). It sucks to be him, if you ask me. Especially since he’s not exactly the picture of dictatorial health. He’s a pretty pathetic, decrepit creature, actually. (Hadn’t I known better I could have sworn he was an apathetic barnacle in disguise.) I mean, the dude is so ridiculously weak and frail, he has to take potions *waves at her ex-boyfriend Geralt of R. again* in order to not drop deadly dead and stuff. 

Want to know another reason why it sucks to be him? He isn’t what you might call a super fan of the whole Sorcerer Emperor Gig Thingie (SEGT™). He’d rather spend time thinking deep thoughts and reading and meditating and all that kind of silly stuff than engaging in the same delightful activities as his lovely subjects. You know, wonderful hobbies such as rape, cannibalism à la carte, tender torture,  “playing” with slaves (no board games involved) and basically anything that involves being good to thy neighbour. What a sweet, pleasant bunch, these Melniboneans. 
  “Doctor Jest returned to his charges and, reaching out with his free hand, expertly seized the genitals of one of the male prisoners. The scalpel flashed. There was a groan. Doctor Jest tossed something onto the fire.”
Ah, good old Doctor Jest. The most charming of them all, assuredly. I’m this close to giving Doctor Prawn the boot, and kidnapping temporarily borrowing Jest-the-Hilariously-Named to replace him and stuff. But I digress. So Elric, being the scholarly bore that he is, doesn’t really approve of his peons’ slightly violent, unethical way of life. And his peons, being the moderately unbalanced, homicidal clique that they are, aren’t huge fans of their not-so-beloved Emperor’s despicably principled, philosophizing ways. And that’s where Prince Yyrkoon comes in. He is Elric’s cousin, and next in the line of succession, you see. And worries a whole lot about his beloved relative’s well-being. Of course he does. He’s a kind, loving soul, and completely devoid of personal ambition. The last thing he wants is to kill Elric deadly dead and/or take his place. Obviously.



Such a comedian, that Yyrkoon.

What happens next? Well spoiler spoiler spoiler, obviously. And also Slightly Yummy Sea Battles™ (arrr!!!), elemental gods you don’t want to make deals with (oops, too late), severed heads (yay!), Barbarians (no Cimmerian Sweetie Pie in sight, unfortunately), the “munificence of fear”, good jokes (or bad jokes, depending on one’s perspective), supremely villainous, comic book-type, worms villainous villains, sorcerous stuff (duh), groaning mists, a ship so bloody shrimping cool  I’m putting it on my Nefarious Christmas Wishlist, magic mirrors (the Evil Queen should have trademarked them when she had the chance, methinks), thwarted plans (aka fun times), a couple of stubborn, sentient swords, sweet sardonic voices (♫music to my ears♫), baby sacrifices (finally, someone who understands me!), 
  Pulsing Caverns
 (which apparently remind some, um, eccentric people I shall not name *waves at Elena* of a, um, certain female body part), bestial (if a little coarse and stupid) demons, Pig and Snake and Thing (oh my!), and last, but certainly not least, eye-less, vomit-adorned, brain-bashed, self-mutilated corpses. YUM.



➽ Nefarious Last Words (NLW™): the crustaceans and my little self find it stupendously hilarious that Moorcock intended for Elric’s adventures to be the antithesis of my Barbarian Paramour’s, because some of the stuff in this book is just as lusciously clichéd as Robert E. Howard’s most OTT stories. Which is pretty fishing awesome, if you ask me.

· Book 1: Elric of Melniboné ★★★★★
· Book 2: The Fortress of the Pearl ★★★★★
· Book 3: The Sailor on the Seas of Fate ★★★★★
· Book 4: The Weird of the White Wolf ★★★
· Book 5: The Vanishing Tower (aka “The Sleeping Sorceress”) - to be read.
· Book 6: The Revenge of the Black Rose - to be read.
· Book 7: The Bane of the Black Sword - to be read.
· Book 8: Stormbringer - to be read.
· Book 9: Elric at the End of Time - to be read.
· Book 10: Daughter of Dreams - to be read.
· Book 11: Destiny’s Brother - to be read.
· Book 12: Son of the Wolf - to be read.

(Following the Tor reading order)



[Pre-review nonsense]

An albino MC with flesh the color of a bleached skull and slanting, crimson eyes? Yummy.



By the way, young Elric, do you not happen to have a third cousin thrice removed called Geralt of R.? He was one of my High Security Harem slaves boarders for a while (we kinda sorta had a very minor falling-out and I kinda sorta banned him for a somewhat permanent while), and you remind me slightly very much of him and stuff, so I thought you might be related and stuff.

➽ Full There Ain’t Naught Like Classic Sword & Sorcery Tales Methinks Crappy Non-Review (TANLCSSTMCNR™) to come.

Mark Wadley

I can't believe I hadn't read this before now. Moorcock manages to combine excellent, evocative writing with non-stop action. Elric is a complex heroic figure and his travails are rendered in visceral, terrifying detail. I don't usually go for the swords-and-sorcery sort of fantasy, but this is gripping, entertaining, and thought-provoking. Highly recommended!

Elric of Melnibone

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