Mike Gayle

A witty and touching novel for fans of Tony Parsons and Nick Hornby. Thirty-two-year-old music journalist Dave Harding has got a nice house, a cushy job and in Izzy, his partner, the ideal companion for an intimate dinner for two. But when friends of Dave announce they're having a baby the biological clock he never knew existed starts ticking. Loudly. When the magazine Dave works for folds he is forced to take the worst job in journalism - Agony Uncle for Teen Scene. Suddenly cooler-than-cool Dave is knee deep in the adolescent outpourings of his teenage readership. One letter out of thousands, however, turns his life upside down. Thirteen-year-old Nicola O'Connell doesn't want advice about boys - she wants to know about Dave because she's convinced that Dave Harding is her dad. And she's got the facts to prove it.

Dinner for Two

Celine

The following morning when we woke up, we were awkward but comfortable at the same time. Neither of us talked about the night before. I think we both felt that we'd had a perfect night with a perfect person and that the time we'd spent together would lose its perfection if we tried to make any more of it. So we didn't say anything about swapping addresses or telephone numbers or even that we were unlikely to see each other again.

'Pop, death-metal, hardcore rap, classical?'

I don't think I know what those are,' she says seriously.

'Me either, I tell her, 'but people like me spend ages making up new musical categories: Brit-pop, Shoe-gazing, Hard House, UK Garage, Drum and Bass, Jungle, New Wave of New Wave, Nu-Soul, Nu-metal, New Acoustic Movement

- how ridiculous is all that? It's just music at the end of the day. But we're not satisfied until we've slapped a label on it so we can dismiss it once we've got bored of it.'

What do you think it would be like to try for a baby?' Do you want to?'

She shakes her head. 'No. I'm just thinking aloud. I've been thinking about what it would be like to have sex with the intention of getting pregnant and whether it would be any different from, you know, what we're used to.‘

I mean they even call it trying for a baby. Some people just say,

"We're trying," and everyone knows what they're talking about. Trying. The thing is if you try you can fail, but if you're just intentionally forgetful about contraception there's no failure if nothing happens, is there? In fact for most of our twenties it's the other way round: you're lucky. you had sex without contraception and you didn't get pregnant.

I used to think I had all the time in the world to do everything I wanted. But what's the use of having all the time in the world if you're always wasting it on things that don't mean a thing?

There is no choice. She's part of me. You're part of me too. It's like... I don't know ... asking me to choose between my heart and my lungs.'

I know, she says. 'But the thing is, you are my heart and my lungs. You're everything to me. And what hurts is that I know I used to be everything to you.'

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