Name: On Caring Ri
ISBN: 9780060920241

Milton Mayeroff

"Should be obligatory reading. . . . A philosophy of life in a nutshell, one that has latched on to the most practical, central, and sensible of all activities, human or cosmic."--Psychology Today

On Caring Ri

Brad Lauster

A philosophical essay on the nature of caring - that is, what it means to care for one another. The fact that Mayeroff landed this text at around 100 generously spaced pages is really a testament to how well it is written. A lesser author would have needed 300+ pages to cover a topic this meaningful. It remains one of my all-time favorites; worthy of being re-read again and again.

Jeremy Anderberg

“Through caring for certain others, by serving them through caring, a man lives the meaning of his own life. . . . he is at home not through dominating, or explaining, or appreciating, but through caring and being cared for.”

This is a delightful book that serendipitously found its way to my shelf through the writing of my friend Kyle Eschenroeder (see below). It’s a small work, penned 50 years ago, that Kyle has quoted in a few impactful articles and those passages always stood out to me. I finally bought it, read it in about two days, and experienced a true paradigm shift in the process.

The gist is pretty simple: the act of caring for others can constitute the meaning of your life. It’s quite a moving message when the interpersonal roles of your existence are considered. Meaning, we tend to think, most often comes from our work. But if we’re intentional about it, we can find the same fulfillment and satisfaction in our roles as parent, child, friend, neighbor, and sibling.

Caring is not easy, that’s for damn sure. But when love enters the picture, what was once an arduous task becomes an act that we can inexplicably take joy in:

“Obligations that derive from devotion are a constituent element in caring, and I do not experience them as forced on me or as necessary evils; there is a convergence between what I feel I am supposed to do and what I want to do. The father who goes for the doctor in the middle of the night for his sick child does not experience this as a burden; he is simply caring for the child.”

Mayeroff describes the various aspects of caring, as well as what caring feels like. It’s partially philosophical (some of those bits went over my head) and partially a guidebook for how to care for someone, or, at times, something. It’s utterly unlike anything I’ve read before.

I won’t say more than that for now—On Caring is not a book that begs for a long review, other than to say that your idea of what brings life meaning may fundamentally shift after reading it. As I was reminded of in Kalanithi’s memoir too, life’s greatest gifts are always found outside the self.

On Caring Ri

Reviews

Highlights