Mimi Zhu

Be Not Afraid of Love is a stunning collection of interconnected essays and affirmations that follow Mimi Zhu’s journey toward embodying and re-learning love after a violent relationship. In their early twenties, queer Chinese-Australian writer and artist Mimi Zhu was a survivor of intimate-partner abuse. This left them broken, in search of ways to heal and find love again. They found that in words. In sharing their own intimate encounters with oppression, healing, joy and community, Mimi invites readers all over the world to reflect deeply on their own experiences, with the intention of acting as a guide to undoing the hurt or uncertainty within them. This book is a continuation of that re-learning, exploring the intersections of love and fear in self-esteem, friendship, family dynamics and romantic relationships, and extending out to its effects on society and the greater political realm. Mimi's powerful and provocative words will guide and inspire readers to lean into love with softness. Heartrending and revolutionary, Be Not Afraid of Love is a testament to the strength and adaptability all humans possess, and a tribute to love in all its forms.

Lessons on Fear, Intimacy and Connection

Be Not Afraid of Love

Connie Meade

Abusers are often survivors themselves, and while they requlre help in ending their cycles of violence, the person who is enduring their abuse cannot be the one to tend to their wounds. One of the reasons I felt so attached to X was that I had assigned myself the role of his heiper. I could see the way that his violence twisted him up inside, and I wanted to be the one to save him. AIl the while, I was being hurt and dragged through emotional, physical, and sexual abuse, and used as a scapegoat for his internal self-hatred and raw woundedness. I had to learn how to prioritize my self-protection and survival. He needed help and so did I. While my compassion allowed me to understand X's pain, l had to practice directing compassion toward myself. I needed to dedicate my nurturing energy toward myself, which meant that I could no longer be the helper and that I needed to ask for help.

mira lee

Passive-aggression does not endeavor to protect the spirit; if anything, it attempts to prove itself "above," or avoidant of, rage. Passive-aggression tries to protect the image that I wish to maintain of myself. It is dishonest not only with the people who have hurt me but also with the self. It tricks me into believing that it is superior to the perceived erratic frequencies of rage and asks me to numb and mute the validity of my anger. When we convince ourselves that we are 'good" people who are beyond "negative" emotion, we suppress vital parts of ourselves that are deserving of communication and expression.

grace

My self-hatred and shame do not benefit anybody-- not myself, my relationships, my healing, or my dreams.

Be Not Afraid of Love quotes

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