Terry Pratchett

Terry Pratchett's profoundly irreverent novels are consistent number one bestseller in England, where they have catapulted him into the highest echelons of parody next to Mark Twain, Kurt Vonnegut, Douglas Adams, and Carl Hiaasen. In this Discworld installment, Death comes to Mort with an offer he can't refuse -- especially since being, well, dead isn't compulsory.As Death's apprentice, he'll have free board and lodging, use of the company horse, and he won't need time off for family funerals. The position is everything Mort thought he'd ever wanted, until he discovers that this perfect job can be a killer on his love life.

Mort

Alex T Hughes

Eilidh 

People don't alter history any more than birds alter the sky, they just make brief patterns in it. Inch by inch, implacable as a glacier and far colder, the real reality was grinding back towards Sto Lat.

Jonnie

"I don't think I'm due to die," said Mort, backing away. "I'm sure I would have been told."

"Well,----me," he said. "A----ing wizard. I hate----ing wizards!"

"You shouldn't----them, then," muttered one of his henchmen, effortlessly pronouncing a row of dashes.

Keli reached out, grabbed the heavy ring, and pounded it on the door. The knocker leered at her.

"Ftreat me rough," it lisped. "That'f the way I like it!"

"Yeff. Ooo, that waff nife, do it again..."

"It would seem that you have no useful skill or talent whatsoever," he said. "Have you thought of going into teaching?"

Mort quotes

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