Bethan Roberts

It is in 1950s' Brighton that Marion first catches sight of Tom. He teaches her to swim in the shadow of the pier and Marion is smitten - determined her love will be enough for them both. A few years later in Brighton Museum Patrick meets Tom. Patrick is besotted with Tom and opens his eyes to a glamorous, sophisticated new world. Tom is their policeman, and in this age it is safer for him to marry Marion. The two lovers must share him, until one of them breaks and three lives are destroyed.

My Policeman

Steffi Colberg

There in the presence of all the saints and angels, we kissed. I looked at the altar with its image of the miraculous Virgin -reputed to have brought a drowned man back to life - and I said, We should live here. After just two days of the possibilities of Venice, I said, We should live here. And Toms answer was, We should fly to the moon. But he was smiling.

Tom stopped at the door and looked back at me, his eyes glowing with anger. He needed me years ago, Marion, he said. And he let himself out of the room.

He looked at me. That smile playing on his lips. ‚Or sooner. We could come one night.‘  

I touched his shoulder. ‚Let's come back when the sun's out. When it's warm. Then we'll swim together.‘

,But I like it like this. Just us and the fog.‘ 

I laughed. 'For a policeman, you’re very romantic.‘ 

,For an artist, you’re very afraid‘ he said. 

My answer to that was to kiss him hard on the mouth.

That laugh, those glittering eyes, are good protection, from the world and from himself.

So anxious to see him that anything seemed possible. Conventions, other people's opinions, the law, all appear laughable in the face of your desire, your drive to reach your love. It's a blissful state. Its fleeting, though, this feeling.

We hadn't yet become lovers, and in that photo there is something of the promise – and the threat – of what was to come. 

You don't have to. That's the wonderful thing about it. It's about reacting to it. Feeling it, if you like. It's not really anything to do with knowledge. 

Have thought about burning my last entry many times. Cannot. What else can make him real, except for my words on paper? When no one else can know, how can I convince myself of his actual presence, of my actual feelings?

Why write again? When I know that I must exercise caution. When I know that to commit my desires to paper is madness. When I know that those screaming bitch types who insist on trolling all over town spoil it tor the rest of us.

anne

'For an artist, you're very afraid,' he said.

When I was twenty-one, I overheard her field Mrs Drewitts annual enquiry into my marital status with the words, 'Tricky's not made that way.' 

Victoria

I thought nothing. And it was such a relief, to merely feel for a change.

Ruby Long

Of course, in the moment itself, in the blissful moment when anything's possible, there's no need for words. You'll simply fall into each other's arms, him understanding everything everything at last. But when the feeling starts to wane, when another woman has just said excuse me but stepped On your foot anyway, when you've glimpsed your reflection in Sainsbury's shop window and seen a wild-eyed, rain- scattering man past his first flush of youth gaping back at you, then you realize there will have to be words.

Caroline 

I did not want to lie to my husband’s back. I wanted to lie to his face. 

Liz Walton

And suddenly it hit me: in attempting to destroy you, Patrick, I’d risked destroying Tom. 

౨ৎ 

'Can I ask you something?' He leant forward in his seat. I put my pencil down. 'Anything.'

'Are you one of those... you know...' He twisted his hands together. 

I almost laughed. 'I'm not sure I know what you mean...

'Well, like I said, I don't know about art, but what I mean is, when you draw me, it will look like me, won't it? Not like one of those new tower blocks or something."

I did laugh then. I couldn't help myself. 'I can assure you, I said, 'I could never make you look like a tower block.' 

He seemed a bit put out. 'All right. Just had to check. You never know.'

faith hurren

I laughed. "For a policeman, you're very romantic."

"For an artist, you're very afraid," he said.

It's been one page. I think depending on Patrick's development, I like him a lot-

"When I know that to commit my desires to paper is madness."

"(I saw Gilbert Harding last week in his ghastly Roller, screeching out of the window at some poor lad on a bicycle. I didn't know whether to laugh or cry.)"

"..a woman who has to work for her own living, reads too many books and is out seen shopping on a Saturday with a trolley instead of a pram or child in tow, wearing trousers and obviously no hurry to get home. In no hurry to get anywhere, in fact."

Me to Marion: "I know something you don't, I know something

"But now I am, and I think I'm seeing something there, something special."

Valle Fernandez

evie coxon

Katerina

armoni mayes

ugh okay so i am really torn about what to rate this book so i have settled on four stars. the writing style was amazing and the story line was beautiful and longing but it did not cause me sadness in the way i thought it would. i also think the story could’ve been a little bit shorter and still had the same overall effect.

BETHAN ROBERTS

MY POLICEMAN

Julie Rubens

If I'm being completely honest, I expected more of this book. I saw the new movie two weeks ago, the day it came out and I was in awe. The movie is so beautifully written and the characters are amazing. I have since watched the movie again and I loved it just as much as the first time so I decided to purchase the book and see if it was even better. 
Although I definitely still think the storyline is wonderful and heartbreaking and important, it just didn't feel the same. I didn't connect with the characters as much and it was a bit too much Marion in my opinion. 
Nevertheless, the book was still very good and the characters and story are still amazing, but I really like the changes they made for the movie.

Syahla Aurel

And yet our ridiculous, blind, naive, brave, romantic longing for it is perhaps what binds us together, for I don't believe either of us has ever truly accepted our defeat. 

I can't understand why everyone only hates Marion, but that doesn't mean that I like her. In fact, I don't sympathize with any of them, and maybe that's the point of this story. All three of them made a mistake that ended in a tragic ending. I'm also curious of how Harry Styles will portrays Tom, looking forward to watch the adaptation.

farah farooq

I’m not condemning Marion but man isn’t it easy for the straights to ruin lives and then just feel guilty about it

Yasmin Dunnewind

I was in a little bit of a book slump, because I couldn't read this book fast enough. It didn't spike any interest in me and i just really didn't like swimming scenes, and that scene was just too long and boring. I started to get into it in Patricks pov and those parts are really the only ones i really liked. I just thought that Patrick was a very sophisticated character, and his interest and his way of speaking and thinking I loved. It was the way he described everything so uniquely and not just with nice and great. Only liked Marion at the end... Tom was just trying to have everything, without breaking the law and he didn't want to think about the consequences.

Hannah Quak

liliana la vita

mixed feeling about this book. as much as i hated Marion at times, i couldn’t help but feel bad for her at times. i know she did fucked up things at time, she truly just wanted love. i think tom could have been a better person to her truly. Patrick also deserves the world. this book definitely had me screaming at times.

makenna!!! 

the fact harry will be playing tom in the near future is everything i need and more!

CLAUDIA VALDES

Joana da Silva

I would like to thank the person who cast Harry Styles as Tom because otherwise, I wouldn't have read this ABSOLUTE GEM of a book. Will forever recommend this, I loved it so much. Bethan Roberts' writing is absolutely immaculate and it will make you empathize with the characters on an astronomical level.

Erin Campbell

heartbreaking and eye opening the whole way through. each character is so flawed in their own fucked up way. so so many emotions and i felt sympathetic, then not, in one page. i’m so excited and curious as to how the movie will portray the characters and i cannot wait to see bae in the movie<3

At the beginning I disliked everyone but Patrick, but then I read his pov and started to hold a grunge against him as well; I even felt slightly sorry for Marion. However that sympathy vanished very quickly towards the end of the book and finally, I hated each of them equally.

Tabea

[sobs in harry styles]
this book crushed me and i'm pretty sure the movie will destroy me, shatter me, rip me into pieces; so beautiful.

This book was both beautiful and tragic, from start to finish. It has a slow start, but once you get into it. It is just sheer beauty. However it isn't a book I would rush to read again.

All this could have been avoided if Marion had a single orgasm.

Live laugh love Patrick. Our beautiful boy deserved so much better. Patrick walked so Elio from cmbyn could power-bottom. 

Wish we had Toms perspective instead of Marion and Patrick’s idealized yet somehow still unbearably 2-dimensional version.  

P.S. Marion is 100% a lesbian. Julia and Marion are endgame. 

Kelsey 

All this could have been avoided if Marion had a single orgasm.

Live laugh love Patrick. Our beautiful boy deserved so much better. Patrick walked so Elio from cmbyn could power-bottom. 

Wish we had Toms perspective instead of Marion and Patrick’s idealized yet somehow still unbearably 2-dimensional version.  

P.S. Marion is 100% a lesbian. Julia and Marion are endgame. 

I had a hard time continuing to read when starting the book. I kind of knew the plot when I began reading because of the film that came out last year which was talked about by almost everyone on TikTok. So maybe that's what made it difficult for me to keep reading the first part of the book. Nothing really happened and it bored me.

Then followed Patrick's part and it was the absolute opposite. I loved it! While I needed multiple days to get through the first about hundred pages, I only read two or three hours until I got through the second part.

Then, it continued like that. With Patrick, I was focused and keen to read the next page and the next and the next. With Marion, I had a hard time. It got better around the end but it still wasn't great. I lacked motivation to continue when it was her point of view. 

After all, the biggest problem was getting through the first part, the others were sometimes fast, sometimes slow but never the threat of a dead end. That was improvement. 

In addition, I really liked Patrick. How he's portrayed, how he describes Tom and how passionate he is for art and the museum as a cultural site.

With Tom, I had my difficulties. Especially in 1999, I don't really like his behaviour of not caring for Patrick nor Marion. 

For Marion, it's really difficult. I didn't like her views and opinions when she was young, I can't find one reason for her letter to the museum to be appropriate and I really don't like how she reacted to Julia's outing. However, the older Marion got better. More understanding, wanting Tom to spend time with Patrick, bringing Patrick into their house in the first place. 

Emilia

Overall, it has its ups and downs.

I had a hard time continuing to read when starting the book. I kind of knew the plot when I began reading because of the film that came out last year which was talked about by almost everyone on TikTok. So maybe that's what made it difficult for me to keep reading the first part of the book. Nothing really happened and it bored me.

Then followed Patrick's part and it was the absolute opposite. I loved it! While I needed multiple days to get through the first about hundred pages, I only read two or three hours until I got through the second part.

Then, it continued like that. With Patrick, I was focused and keen to read the next page and the next and the next. With Marion, I had a hard time. It got better around the end but it still wasn't great. I lacked motivation to continue when it was her point of view. 

After all, the biggest problem was getting through the first part, the others were sometimes fast, sometimes slow but never the threat of a dead end. That was improvement. 

In addition, I really liked Patrick. How he's portrayed, how he describes Tom and how passionate he is for art and the museum as a cultural site.

With Tom, I had my difficulties. Especially in 1999, I don't really like his behaviour of not caring for Patrick nor Marion. 

For Marion, it's really difficult. I didn't like her views and opinions when she was young, I can't find one reason for her letter to the museum to be appropriate and I really don't like how she reacted to Julia's outing. However, the older Marion got better. More understanding, wanting Tom to spend time with Patrick, bringing Patrick into their house in the first place. 

Amelia 

I adored this book. 

Did I read because of a certain Harry Styles being in the upcoming movie? Yes. 

But I’m so glad I did because I now love this book. 

Truely heartbreaking, captivating and frustrating all at once. I can’t wait for this to be brought to life.

Salma emam 

this book caused a lot of emotional damage
But you could tell a straight white woman wrote this

No words for it, but i know that the film is going to destroy me.

Madi 

cait <3

i cried so hard that the pages got wet and ripped apart :( 

sophia

Schon echt gut geschrieben, sehr mitreißend, aber leider ohne Mord, deswegen auch nur 4,5 Sterne! Am Ende wollte ich Marion echt verhauen, weil sie so fies gehandelt hat. Sylvie ist ein unerwarteter Lieblingscharakter, während Tom komplett uneinsichtig ist. Patrick ist so viel älter als Tom, weshalb ich das hier als ein bisschen kritisch ansehe. Aber insgesamt hat’s mich mitgenommen **

My Policeman

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