Nancy Newton Verrier

The Primal Wound is a book which is revolutionizing the way we think about adoption. In its application of information about pre- and perinatal psychology, attachment, bonding, and loss, it clarifies the effects of separation from the birth mother on adopted children. In addition, it gives those children, whose pain has long been unacknowledged or misunderstood, validation for their feelings, as well as explanations for their behavior. Since its original publication in 1993, The Primal Wound has become a classic in adoption literature and is considered the adoptees' bible. The insight which is brought to the experiences of abandonment and loss will contribute not only to the healing of adoptees, adoptive families, and birth parents, but will bring understanding and encouragement to anyone who has ever felt abandoned.

Understanding the Adopted Child

The Primal Wound

 And, in concert with that, I have had to realize that neither could I take away her pain...that she would have to work it Ding through for herself. Are we bonded? I don't think that I would be able to write this work if we were not, but it is a bond forged in the fire of sacrifice and pain, not the easy, fluid, continuity of bonding she might have had with her birthmother. We have both suffered, but we want to create something out of that suffering.

It seems that I've always been who I am, but I am just starting to be who I am. I've changed a lot in the last seven years, but I don't think I've really changed; I've just become more myself. A changing is a becoming.

The Primal Wound quotes

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