Roxane Gay

Edited and with an introduction by Roxane Gay, the New York Times bestselling and deeply beloved author of Bad Feminist and Hunger, this anthology of first-person essays tackles rape, assault, and harassment head-on. Vogue, 10 of the Most Anticipated Books of Spring 2018 Harper's Bazaar, 10 New Books to Add to Your Reading List in 2018 Elle, 21 Books We're Most Excited to Read in 2018 Boston Globe, 25 books we can't wait to read in 2018 Huffington Post, 60 Books We Can't Wait to Read in 2018 Buzzfeed, 33 Most Exciting New Books of 2018 In this valuable and timely anthology, cultural critic and bestselling author Roxane Gay collects original and previously published pieces that address what it means to live in a world where women have to measure the harassment, violence and aggression they face, and where sexual-abuse survivors are 'routinely second-guessed, blown off, discredited, denigrated, besmirched, belittled, patronized, mocked, shamed, gaslit, insulted, bullied' for speaking out. Highlighting the stories of well-known actors, writers and experts, as well as new voices being published for the first time, Not That Bad covers a wide range of topics and experiences, from an exploration of the rape epidemic embedded in the refugee crisis to first-person accounts of child molestation and street harrassment. Often deeply personal and always unflinchingly honest, this provocative collection both reflects the world we live in and offers a call to arms insisting that 'not that bad' must no longer be good enough.

Dispatches from Rape Culture

Not That Bad

Edited and with an introduction by Roxane Gay, the New York Times bestselling and deeply beloved author of Bad Feminist and Hunger, this anthology of first-person essays tackles rape, assault, and harassment head-on. “Roxane Gay is the brilliant girl-next-door: your best friend and your sharpest critic. . . . she is also required reading.”—People In this valuable and revealing anthology, cultural critic and bestselling author Roxane Gay collects original and previously published pieces that address what it means to live in a world where women have to measure the harassment, violence, and aggression they face, and where they are “routinely second-guessed, blown off, discredited, denigrated, besmirched, belittled, patronized, mocked, shamed, gaslit, insulted, bullied” for speaking out. Contributions include essays from established and up-and-coming writers, performers, and critics, including actors Ally Sheedy and Gabrielle Union and writers Amy Jo Burns, Lyz Lenz, Claire Schwartz, and Bob Shacochis. Covering a wide range of topics and experiences, from an exploration of the rape epidemic embedded in the refugee crisis to first-person accounts of child molestation, this collection is often deeply personal and is always unflinchingly honest. Like Rebecca Solnit’s Men Explain Things to Me, Not That Bad will resonate with every reader, saying “something in totality that we cannot say alone.” Searing and heartbreakingly candid, this provocative collection both reflects the world we live in and offers a call to arms insisting that “not that bad” must no longer be good enough.

Sarah Wood

Anisha tells me, “A good therapist knows you have to live in the house while you remodel."

When your truth is so inherently questioned, it is easier to say nothing than anything at all. I know this because I live in a bastion of liberalism, I have aligned myself with open-minded people, I have spent my life devouring queer feminist theory, I have spent years in therapy, decades in yoga, and months in meditation to grow and heal and understand and yet, despite everything, when I write about that night I still worry if my story is believable.

Highly recommend. A book everyone should read. 

Elizabeth

Ghofran Mustafa 

It's the first time I read a book about people experiences with rape culture and their stories and traumas.
It was not easy to read these stories, let alone understand. I kept asking myself, why these things keeps happening, why do people keep suffering and get blamed when they did nothing wrong.
How did we ever get to a place where victim blaming was wedged so far into our brains???

Kamu Pancholi

This book was so incredible hard to read, but it was so important to me that I finish it. This collection and its various contributors unblinkingly examine rape culture and the systems and people that perpetuate it in a way I've never seen. They examined their experiences and those of other victims of sexual assault and rape culture from every angle, relaying thoughts, opinions, and details that the culture we exist in tries to silence. I don't yet have words to express the ways this book has affected me.

Alexa M

"This was rape's legacy, the countless deaths women die just trying to keep existing in the world as it is." (Elizabeth Fairfield Stokes)

this was sooooo good. i liked most of the stories and loooved some of them as well. i don't have much to say this book did what it set out to do and make many points. another must-read.

TW: Please be aware that sexual violence and rape are heavily featured in this book

Jemima Scott

A powerful and important read

TW: Please be aware that sexual violence and rape are heavily featured in this book

Tate

Favorite Quote: 
“Anger is the privilege of the truly broken, and yet, I’ve never met a woman who was broken enough that she allowed herself to be angry.” 

Summary: A collection of essays that explore what it means to live in a world where women are frequently belittled and harassed due to their gender, and offers a call to arms insisting that “not that bad” must no longer be good enough.

Review: It is difficult to review a book whose topic is so serious and all contributors brought so much authenticity and vulnerability to this anthology. I will not review the individual stories and their content but rather the anthology's overall cohesiveness. It took me a very long time to get through this book, part of this due to the heavy subject but another aspect was that it was very difficult to get into the groove of the book, it did not flow in what I would describe as a pleasing way. It may just be the nature of an anthology but the essays had a sense of being incomplete.

Maggie Gordon

Given my field of work, I try to read all the major books on sexual assault that come out. I wasn't expecting much from another essay collection on rape culture. What I ended up getting was so much more than I was anticipating. These are not scholarly essays, but personal experiences detailed by a group of gifted authors. It's a cutting, brutal, painful book that really helps highlight what rape culture means in practice. As a collection, there are a few weaker pieces, but overall this is an important and powerful book.

Caroline Lewicki

So many of these stories were gut-wrenching, heartbreaking, and anger inducing. Roxane Gay always does an incredible job of pulling together a cohesive, well thought out anthology that needs to be read and digested. The only reason it lost a star for me was that a few of the stories left me feeling like there was a blurred sense of right and wrong. That's a personal feeling for me so it's hard to say that, but it did impact my reading. I highly recommend listening to the audiobook, as it is read by each individual author and really gives a better sense of the feeling the author soaked their story in.

Grace O'Callaghan

CW: Violence, rape, sexual assault

I am fucking angry. I am so beyond angry I don’t know what to do with myself. I’ve never felt such vile emotions as the ones I experienced reading this book. My gut twisted and my heart clenched for everyone that has ever felt unsafe in their own body. That’s ever felt violated and mistreated. That’s ever been raped.

Roxane Gay did a wonderful job at collecting so many voices from all walks of life. Whether it be race, gender, sexuality, skin colour, socio-economic status etc. I really appreciated that there were stories by men because although it’s mostly women who are objectified and sexualised, men are also affected by rape culture.

If you’re looking for raw and moving writing, this is the book for you. I’m definitely going to be checking out more from Roxane Gay. I listened to the audiobook, so I can’t tell you my favourites, but it’s a full cast and I’d really recommend it. It’s very emotional listening to people recount these experiences.

I remember thinking that before I read this that ‘I’ve only been whistled at a few times’ and feeling lucky about that. Grateful. But after reading this I have realised that it is that bad. Although I haven’t been subject to worse, those things are still imprinted on my memory. Still affect me. There’s always going to someone that’s had it worse, but that doesn’t mean your feelings aren’t valid.

Rape culture isn’t just about rape. Its about the way people give a ‘friendly’ pat on the bum, stare at someone until they feel uncomfortable, catcall from across the street, calling someone a ‘slut’ or ‘whore’. It’s about the way we say ‘boys will be boys’ and the way women are reduced to their appearance on TV and telling girls to be quiet. If we never give women the words, how can we expect them to speak up? 

Unlike anything I’ve ever read, Roxane Gay provides us with 30 much needed essays about rape culture and reminds us that it is THAT bad. I urge you to read this unless things like violence and rape trigger you.

Cerys

A hard yet important listen. This collection of essays surrounding rape culture comes from people of different races, gender and sexuality. Allowing to hear from these many different perspectives is important as it allows us to see the many different forms of rape. Highly important

Edited and with an introduction by Roxane Gay, the New York Times bestselling and deeply beloved author of Bad Feminist and Hunger, this anthology of first-person essays tackles rape, assault, and harassment head-on. “Roxane Gay is the brilliant girl-next-door: your best friend and your sharpest critic. . . . she is also required reading.”—People In this valuable and revealing anthology, cultural critic and bestselling author Roxane Gay collects original and previously published pieces that address what it means to live in a world where women have to measure the harassment, violence, and aggression they face, and where they are “routinely second-guessed, blown off, discredited, denigrated, besmirched, belittled, patronized, mocked, shamed, gaslit, insulted, bullied” for speaking out. Contributions include essays from established and up-and-coming writers, performers, and critics, including actors Ally Sheedy and Gabrielle Union and writers Amy Jo Burns, Lyz Lenz, and Claire Schwartz. Covering a wide range of topics and experiences, from an exploration of the rape epidemic embedded in the refugee crisis to first-person accounts of child molestation, this collection is often deeply personal and is always unflinchingly honest. Like Rebecca Solnit’s Men Explain Things to Me, Not That Bad will resonate with every reader, saying “something in totality that we cannot say alone.” Searing and heartbreakingly candid, this provocative collection both reflects the world we live in and offers a call to arms insisting that “not that bad” must no longer be good enough.

A hard yet important listen. This collection of essays surrounding rape culture comes from people of different races, gender and sexuality. Allowing to hear from these many different perspectives is important as it allows us to see the many different forms of rape. Highly important.

Neva Davies

Not That Bad is a painful and yet necessary critique of rape culture. It gives a voice to people who were silenced by the culture of "don't rock the boat." Everyone should read this, because while it's painful, it gives us an important look into the culture that we have allowed to flourish.

Paulina 

Renee Delcourt

This book is so powerful and so heartbreaking.

Roxanne Gay collects original and previously published pieces that address what it means to live in a world where women have to measure the harassment, violence, and aggression they face and where they are blown off, discredited, shamed, and insulted for speaking out

Josephine Lemonade 

very important book (and would recommend reading it ONLY if you're not easily triggered by sexual assault/rape, don't be an idiot like me pls)

Hala Abdulaziz 

One of the most important reads in my entire life.

Kelsey Holtaway

This wasn’t an enjoyable read. In fact it was supremely upsetting. But it was poignant. And I’d recommend it to everyone.

b.andherbooks

A powerful set of essays. It took me a very long time to read this book, as I wanted to give myself both the time to think about each essay and the time to recover from reading each one. The theme of "not that bad" was reflected on in most of the essays, with a resounding rejoinder that every sexual assault, every rape, is that bad. 

Gabrielle Union's essay in particular stood out to me. Union unpacks her conflict of emotion over being able to portray an important character in a film, a film she was very proud of, only to have the director be accused of sexual assault. 

Highly recommend.

Not That Bad Dispatches from Rape Culture

Reviews

Highlights