olivieblake

How to Win Friends and Influence People

Justin Schueler

Florian

Don’t criticizes them. They are just what we would be under similar circumstances.

The only way on earth to influence other people is to talk about what they want and show them how to get it.

If there is any one secret of success, it lies in the ability to get the other person’s point of view and see things from that person’s angle as well as your own.

It is the individual who is not interested in his fellow men who has the greatest difficulties in life and provides the greatest injury to others. It is from among such individuals that all human failures spring.

Try honestly to see things from the other person’s point of view.

Begin with praise and honest appreciation [before criticizing].

When following up a praise with critic. Chapter 4.2

Think about your own shortcomings and mention them first when criticizing.

„What do you think about …“ - „Anything we can do to improve …“ Chapter 4.4

Ask questions instead of giving direct orders.

Let us praise even the slightest improvement.

Give the other person a fine reputation to live up to.

Dale Carnegie

INTERNATIONAL BESTSELLER OVER 30 MILLION COPIES SOLD WORLDWIDE How to Win Friends and Influence People by bestselling author Dale Carnegie is one of the most groundbreaking self-help books of all time. This book has now sold over 30 million copies worldwide, helping and inspiring millions of readers along the way in achieving their true potential. According to Carnegie, the ability to communicate effectively is the key to success. In this book he shows how to hone your innate abilities to connect with other people and flourish, whether in personal relationships or in business. Carnegie’s rock-solid and time-tested techniques will help you: • Win over people • Avoid making enemies • Handle complaints and avoid arguments • Keep your relationships smooth and pleasant • Become a good conversationalist • Increase your earning power And much more… Change the way you handle relationships and life’s challenges. A timeless classic that will appeal to self-help, business and general readers alike! Dale Carnegie was a lecturer of public speaking at YMCA New York. He had also served in the US army during World War 1. He published his first book in 1936 and became a sought after self-help author and speaker. Some of his other works include How to Stop Worrying and Start Living and The Art of Public Speaking. “Everybody in the world is seeking happiness—and there is one sure way to find it. That is by controlling your thoughts. Happiness doesn’t depend on outward conditions. It depends on inner conditions.” —Dale Carnegie

How to Win Friends and Influence

Honestly cool how most of these principles are things I used to think about, but it’s always nice to get a refresher. 

abhi 

How to Win Friends & Influence People

Great and timeless book. Unfortunately repetitive - a clearer structure would have helped to remember key points.

Original text of Dale Carnegie's classic book on bettering yourself.

Original Text

i love how the lessons taught in this book, despite being written decades ago, still stand today!

amanda s

I'd say 60% is really meaningful and 40% is purely manipulative. I was left with a feeling that most examples he gives suffer from severe survivor bias, especially in that 40% part.

Evan Gusev

Ned Summers 

Brilliant lessons. You understand why it's had the influence it has had over so much time. Those aspects of interaction you know work, have seen work but don't pay attention to enough to implement.

Hana 

I really enjoyed this book. I've held off on reading it for a very long time because I wasn't a fan of the title. The title, though, says clearly what the book is about. In short, this book talks about how to interact effectively with people, like Understanding others' views, expressing sympathy, listening first, asking questions, looking for agreement, leading them to your conclusion, and emphasizing their interests. It's a refreshing read; everyone could benefit from it.

Frank Enns

Originally published during the depths of the Great Depression—and equally valuable during booming economies or hard times—Dale Carnegie's rock-solid, time-tested advice has carried countless people up the ladder of success in their business and personal lives. It introduces simple and life-changing concepts such as: A simple Way to Make a Good First Impression How to Criticize Other People—and Not Be Hated for It An Easy Way to Become a Good Conversationalist What to Do When Nothing Else Works Making People Glad to Do What You Want And So Much More!

The Only Book You Need to Lead You to Success

Nast

This book is full of platitudes and it reads to me as a commoditization of empathy and a mechanistic cheatshit to social interactions to improve your business. 

Many of the tips are fine, they are maybe an early milestone in the journey of business culture from a pure transactional paradigm to the current standard of human centered design. But I was expecting something more, given the fact that it is acknowledged as one of the favorite books of many influential business thought leaders.

Maybe what I can infer from that fact is: that those business leaders share some social impairments, and understand interactions under a mechanistic, and somewhat psychopathic prism.

farah

this book is chockful of practical advice. It is not a book about manipulation but rather about human psychology. 

I like to think of it as a wider version of the "5 Love Languages". Well worth the read

How To Enjoy Your Life And Your Job

High Fidelity

Knjiga nije kompatibilna sa nasim mentalitetom i zivotnim navikama. Postoji dosta dobrih saveta i poucnih primera koje bi trebalo zapamtiti,medjutim,nisu jasni niti upecatljivi na prvo citanje. Svakako preporucujem,jer nismo svi isti.

Ahmed Salem

قرأت طبعة دار نون و للأسف لم تمكني من الاستمتاع الكامل بالكتاب. ديل كارنيجي كان أكثر من رائع في سرد قصص الناجحين الذين قابلهم في حياته, فقط سوء الترجمة و عدم التنظيم في تحرير الكتاب كان عائقا في استمتاع اأكثر

Merged review:

قرأت طبعة دار نون و للأسف لم تمكني من الاستمتاع الكامل بالكتاب. ديل كارنيجي كان أكثر من رائع في سرد قصص الناجحين الذين قابلهم في حياته, فقط سوء الترجمة و عدم التنظيم في تحرير الكتاب كان عائقا في استمتاع اأكثر

Malissa Kelly

I give this 2 stars for the practical advice. However, this book does not align with my views on society and gender roles. Being a book written so long ago, I decided to take some points with a grain of salt, but as a woman there is some things you can’t bite your tongue on. 
Yes the practical advice is very useful and helpful, but the business kindest and gendered marital roles are a hard ni for me. This is a self help book for the capitalist who likes rules. If this is you go for it.
However, just because this book does not 100% align with my beliefs does not mean I was going to stop reading it. I am a firm believer in never having a book unfinished, and to have the most well rounded education as possible. To be well rounded means to take a look at all sides. This side was not for me. I can pick a few pieces that were useful, and I can make the decision to not listen to the parts that don’t reflect how I want to live my life.

We can choose the information we want to follow, but it’s always best to gather as much information as possible to get to this point. 

Sadly 2 stars, I am neither a straight man or a Capitalist. So ultimately this is a miss for me.

Latitude Tamarind

As a Historical Book, this was an interesting piece of media.

As a Life Advice Book, I found this useless and out of date.

As one of my Five Not ARC Adult Books This Summer, I would say: eugh. But now I can say I've read it, I guess. 

I got this free from my workplace as part of our book club, but it's not an ARC! so it still counts

Alex bell

Principals are great, very outdated however.

Ethan Ding

Provides suggestions for successfully dealing with people both in social and business situations

Femke

I finished it because I didn't want it to be left unfinished. It felt like such a burden to read. I like the key points and keep referring to my summary every now and then, but I was so fed up with his way of writing before I was even halfway through this book. Really had to drag myself through the pages. It couldn't keep my attention for more than two pages at a time, I found it outright boring at multiple times throughout the book.

How To Win Friends & Influence People

David V.

70 years in print, still holds true. A little slow to read, so feel free to skip parts and still get the point. I did.

You can go after the job you want—and get it! You can take the job you have—and improve it! You can take any situation—and make it work for you! Dale Carnegie’s rock-solid, time-tested advice has carried countless people up the ladder of success in their business and personal lives. One of the most groundbreaking and timeless bestsellers of all time, How to Win Friends & Influence People will teach you: -Six ways to make people like you -Twelve ways to win people to your way of thinking -Nine ways to change people without arousing resentment And much more! Achieve your maximum potential—a must-read for the twenty-first century with more than 15 million copies sold!

How To Win Friends and Influence People

Unless you are perhaps a hermit alone without any social contact, there is no other context, expectation or state of mind that I can think of why I should not recommend this book. 

Buy it. 

Amanda

This piece makes some fine points about the nature of humans. We do not often like conflict, to be told we are wrong, or be made to feel small. We enjoy discussing our hobbies and interest, getting our way, and generally feeling like we are important or needed. The author suggests that by avoiding the uncomfortable and appealing to a desire to be seen and heard, we may be better able to “influence” people in our everyday lives. However, where is the line? When is it that the reader deserves, as the author would say, to feel important? When is it that the reader should assert their knowledge as fact in the face of misinformation? When and where do the tactics described in this book become manipulative and deceitful? The author, in an attempt to make his point, lifts sometimes morally questionable historical figures to lofty standards and expects the reader to forever be humble and gracious in the face of disrespect. The author finds it necessary to state on multiple occasions that the reader is supposed to be genuine in their flattery and praise. This, in my opinion, does not counterbalance that fact that the author is telling you to do these things as a means to an end. The point of the book is to “influence” and “win” as opposed to communicate and connect. I find little sincerity in the author’s cause, especially when ever anecdote he gives seems to say “See? With just a little manipulation I was able to receive a gift or make the sale or best whoever I happen to meet today”.

But the sleezy salesman feel of the advice is not the books only downfall. Time, in my opinion has also hindered it’s message. In part one, chapter two of this book, the author states that some people are mentally ill because they desire attention and to feel important. While the age of the work can excuse a few of the authors opinions, I find it upsetting that this sort of rhetoric would continue to be included in the book without note from any publisher or editor despite the many reprints and alterations it has received in the past. 

The “heroes” of the authors anecdotes also leave something to be desired. In part 3, chapter 4, the author tells the story of how John Rockefeller Jr. won over the protestors at his mines with a friendly speech. The author makes brief mention of the fact that the National Guard had been sent in and “blood had been shed”. The author seems to do this intentionally to down play the fact that more than 20 people were killed, including two woman and 11 children, in what is known as the Ludlow Massacre. He does not mention the appalling conditions these miners were force to work and often die in, one of the main reasons for the protests. The language the author employs also sheds light on his personal beliefs. He calls the protestors irate, belligerent, and demanding while describing the speech Rockefeller delivered as remarkable, astonishing, and a masterpiece. The author states that the speech given was so effective that the workers went back to the mines without a second thought to the reasons they were protesting in the first place. This would lead the reader to believe that firstly, Rockefeller, while great at writing speeches, did not actually care about the well-being of his workers (seeing as he complied with none of their requests and the conditions of the mines did not change), and secondly, that the author believes this is the ideal outcome for such a situation. The complete lack of feeling for the miners and prioritization of financial gain and personal appearance to the public tells the reader everything they need to know about the authors motivations. While he boasts of sincerity and genuine regard, the anecdotes he provides show that what the author really values is superficial and monetary in nature.

Over all, the principles seem straight forward and, at their base level, make sense with the way we view human behavior. We seek comfort, avoid distress. However, in the building of meaningful relationships and trying to run an ethical and honest business, the advice seems to need much dilution in order to be implement in a manner that allows the reader to be true to themselves while also honoring the person they are interacting with.

Darian

I got my copy of this book through a book exchange in college and just now got around to reading it. It was fine, a bit tediously written and the principles are a little straightforward/common sense in nature but I’ve read worse. 

Chelsea White

I'm sure this book is useful for a bunch of people, but for me I found myself saying "People don't automatically do this?" to a lot of the things Dale Carnegie was writing about. Maybe I'm just decent at relating to people, but I had hoped this book would have more information that I didn't know. I'm glad that so many people have learned great things from this book, I wish I were one of them.

Jared Bryson

gotta read this joint with several grains of salt. the context is nearly entirely business, white man perspective, and 20th century.

that being said, the core principles are rock solid.

How to Win Friends and Influence People

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