Rebecca Ivory

Free Therapy

sina (she/her) 

Things probably could have been salvaged had I responded differently. But I find apologies cumbersome and draining. I prefer to bear down and ride it out. Besides, it would have been too awful to admit I had lied, too shameful.

I have frequent attacks of doubt during the night, or early in the morning, between waking and sleeping. Six months ago, I stopped speaking to my friends from home. When they phoned me after work, I didn't take their calls because I wanted to watch television instead, so that was that. 

I think I am a bad person. I worry too much about what people think, making constant adjustments between the thoughts I conceive and how I express them.

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