Riku Onda

From the author of The Aosawa Murders, one of the NYT Notable Books of 2020. The WSJ commented: "Part psychological thriller, part murder mystery--it is audacious in conception and brilliant in execution." The Globe and Mail said the book was "emerging as one of the most praised novels of the year." This gripping psychological thriller takes place in a desolate apartment in a Japanese city. The protagonists, Aki and Hiro, fell in love at university before becoming convinced that they were brother and sister, separated when young after Aki was adopted. After living together platonically for some years they went on a trek in the mountains, where their guide--their estranged natural father--died inexplicably. Each believes the other to be the murderer and are determined to extract a confession. The suspicion has destroyed their relationship and so they have decided to go their separate ways. But first, they feel compelled to discuss what happened that day. In the ensuing psychological battle of wills during their last night together, they retrace events and come to a stunning conclusion. The thriller--buried in a literary whodunit--explores the mysteries of romantic love, memory and attaining self-knowledge. Like the best Japanese crime writing it is an unflinching foray into the darker recesses of the soul, quietly suspenseful and elegantly constructed.

Fish Swimming in Dappled Sunlight

I’m curious as to why this message of wanting to have control over one’s death feels less impactful to me and I feel like it’s because I hope she realizes 

“Sometimes I want everything to disappear so I can erase my own existence. By dying, for example, or by saying goodbye. Those are possible endings I could choose. The world will go on regardless.”

“On nights when it was too hot for sleeping, he and I would go to the playground. We’d sit on the swings in the dark and drink beer. It felt so intimate. We said things there that we could never have spoken of inside.”

The interesting thing about the two perspectives so far is that one sees food as an outlet to positively view things while the other has had a lot of negative associations with food.

“Potatoes, onions, cabbages, apples, salad dressing, canned tuna. This kind of food has weight, like a living thing.”

Fish Swimming in Dappled Sunlight quotes

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