S. M. Reine

Race of Thieves: An Urban Fantasy Novel

Sarah Escorsa

Actual rating: 3.9845687475 stars.

It’s been five bloody shrimping days since I finished reading this book and I still don’t know how to rate it. Argh and stuff. Most mystifyingly perplexing this is indeed. I mean, Race of Thieves is after all a S.M. Reine book. Set in her yummilicious Descentverse. And the MC is a thief. Who also happens to be a were-squirrel. A WERE SQUIRREL, my Little Barnacles! It doesn’t get much tastier than that, if you ask me.



This is me before I started reading this book, in case you were wondering.

I think (because yes, I do think sometimes. And yes, it hurts. A lot) that my main problem with this book is that it’s funny as fish. (And as we all know I have no sense of humor whatsoever.) Okay, the fact that the book is funny isn’t a problem in itself, it’s just that reading a light, funny story set in this previously darkly dark universe feels Super Extra Weird (SEW™) and stuff. (Pretty sure Elise would find Cage’s squirelly shenanigans to be quite sacrilegious indeed. She’d probably chop him into little pieces with her falchions and barbecue him for dinner or something.)

Anyhoo and stuff, going back to what has to be one of the darkest, most fished up worlds in UF only to find oneself laughing one’s lovely exoskeleton off is a discombobulating as shrimp experience. And the fact that all cast members manage to make it to the end of the book unscathed makes it even more unsettling. I mean, Reine writes the type of books where so many characters end up deadly dead, you start wondering whether you’re next on the list, and end up taking all sorts of creative measures to avoid detection and stuff. 



Quite the audacious strategy, I agree, but work it does. I mean, I’m still here to tell you about it, aren’t I? I rest in my armor case and stuff.

Now. Once you realize that no, you didn’t overdo it with the whisky IV before starting to read this book, that yes, this really is a most frolicsome romp, and that also yes, it was indeed written by S.M. Reine herself and not her evil twin, then deliciously titillating times await and stuff. 

First, because the world is original as shrimp. Because Reine, so duh. You might think there’s nothing special about a world populated with shifters, demons and asshole angels, but throw oracles, cults, Heroes (as opposed to heroes, ha!), canonized thieves, woolly mammoths, visceral illusionists, the Hungry Little Caterpillar, fish dying of annoyance (depressing that), all sorts of, um, delightful creatures, warlocks and wizards and rune magic (view spoiler)[oh my! (hide spoiler)], multiple dimensions, and weird stuff galore into the mix, and you get, well, um, you know, the moderately creative setting for this story and stuff. 

Also, the very cool thing about this book, for those who have read Reine’s pre-Genesis series (sorry, what? You’ve no idea what I’m talking about? It’s okay, I love you anyway. Hahahaha, no. Just kidding), is that we get to find out what the world has become, 50 years after the events in Sins of Eden (which, incidentally, has one of the crappiest scariest book covers in the history of crappiest scariest book covers). Oh I know exactly what some of you Clueless Tiny Decapods are thinking: that it’s pointless for you to give this series a try, since you haven’t read any of Reine’s other books (because you lack judgment like that). Ha! Well more wrong couldn’t you be, for very alone this squirelly series stands, and lost you won’t feel while reading it. So yay and stuff. (view spoiler)[
  

  

  
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Second, because the cast of characters is slightly awesome. Because Reine, so duh. (“Sounds familiar,” you say? I wonder why.) I mean, the fact that the MC—Cage is his name, just so you know—is a were-squirrel/thief should be incentive enough for any shrimp in their right mind to read this story. Add that to the fact that he thinks being a squirrel is somewhat very lame—which gives him hilarious insecurities issues, which might or might not explain why he lies and pretends he’s really a were-phoenix—and lives in a run-down theater with his agoraphobic demon sidekick—who has an eyeball sidekick (dangling optical nerve included) called Vision, just so you know—who might or might not be in 💕lurve💕 with Cage, which wouldn’t be a problem for Cage if he wasn’t still in 💕lurve💕 with his self-serving thieving bitch of an ex girlfriend who happens to kick ass and comes fully equipped with a physical disability and wonderfully refreshing imperfections, and bloody shrimping hell this sentence is so long I forgot where the fish I was going with it. Go me and stuff.



Very long story very short? The cast of characters is Slightly Very Scrumptious (SVC™). And the shrimp on top of the paella? All the colors of the gender/disability/disorder/species rainbow are represented in this story. Let me tell you, it doesn’t get more inclusive as fish or diverse as squid as this cast here. Because Reine, so duh. (view spoiler)[😬 (hide spoiler)].

Third, because there’s nothing quite like a rollicking good heist that centers around a pair of hairy godly underpants of dubious origin (and even more dubious material). “Because Reine, so duh,” you say? Yeah, sure, why the fish not?!

➽ Nefarious Last Words (NLW™): Bloody shrimping hell of the stinking krill, I think I need to raise my rating for this book! 3.412335968 pathetically miserable stars begone! 3.9845687475 barely tolerable stars incoming! (view spoiler)[Because Reine, so duh. Obviously. (hide spoiler)]

P.S. Those of you who feel bold and audacious enough to dive into the Descentverse might want to check this section of Reine’s website, where she explains how all the series in this world fit together (super cool flowchart included). You’re welcome and stuff.
P.S.: I almost wrote a never-ending review for this book. Almost. But decided to go for semi-never-ending one instead. Phew. A good thing I didn’t. It must be your lucky day or something. Then again maybe not.

• Book 2: Reign of Monsters - To be read



Actual rating: 3.412335968 stars.
 
[Pre-review nonsense]

You know you're reading a S.M. Reine book when the MC (a were-squirrel dude with an agoraphobic eyeball demon sidekick and a slightly unbalanced, speech-impaired ex-girlfriend) doesn’t bat his bushy tail an eye at the thought of wearing a corset and high heels to get into a glittering drag club, and proceeds to happily strut his stuff among the deliciously diverse crowd of “guys or gals or people somewhere in between or nowhere at all on the gender spectrum.”



Yep, that’s right, Reine’s books are the Sesame Street of UF. Kind of.

➽ Full review to come and stuff.

Race of Thieves: An Urban Fantasy Novel

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