Samantha Christy

Purple Orchids

window

I really just need to stop with the Kindle Unlimited romance reads since it seems like 95% of them are terrible. Sad to say I include this one in that 95%. For the life of me, I don't understand how so many of these sorts of books have a 4-star overall rating.

Gavin is a total douche - he's a manwhore of the first degree who then develops some sort of fascination with Baylor when he literally bumps into her while they are in college. He treats other women like disposable holes but instantly feels "protective" over Baylor. To me, this would be a giant red flag to stay the hell away from him. He then proceeds to basically become a creepy stalker. He follows Baylor around so that he can "run into her" outside her classes. He bribes a friend of his to give him her class schedule and he changes his classes to be the same as hers - etc etc. Stalking is *not* romantic and I really wish authors would stop portraying it as so.

As for Baylor, she checks the cliche boxes: virgin, "cool girl" who doesn't wear makeup yet is just so beautiful, likes burgers and fries (none of that salad crap), and even volunteers at a children's hospital. 

Then there are lines like this one from Gavin as he watches her drink a milkshake:
Watching her suck chocolate through that straw . . . shit, I’ve never wanted to be a straw so bad in my life.
Insert eyeroll.

I also wish romance authors would stop pitting women against each other and would stop with the "all other women are ho-bitches except the h". Karen, Gavin's lifelong friend, is nothing more than a caricature. She's rich, pretty, wears makeup (gasp!), and wants more from Gavin than friendship and he knows it. She is a stereotypical "mean girl" with no other aspect of personality and towards the end, she totally jumps the shark by (view spoiler)[finding a Gavin look-alike guy to actually impregnate her so she can tell Gavin the baby is his and they will stay together 4-eva. Seriously?? Like no one ever heard of a DNA test? And what sort of unhinged person would actually do this?? (hide spoiler)]

As for the plot, ha. This quote from Gavin sums it up nicely:
“We were played, Baylor. And you’ll never know how sorry I am that I didn’t fight harder for you,” he says. “All it would have taken was a simple phone call or text for us to figure out what happened, and all of this could have been avoided. I’m so sorry, darlin’.

So after each of them decides this is the only person for them (after 3 months, no less) and Gavin tells her he's going to marry her someday, all it takes to break them up is (view spoiler)[the evil Karen. She fakes a whole Facebook wall (back in the days when Facebook was new) that shows Baylor two-timing Gavin with her ex-boyfriend Chris. Yes that virgin slut! She doesn't ever sleep with Chris while they're actually dating but now that she's sleeping with Gavin, of course she's throwing her "favors" around to all the mens. Gavin believes this. (hide spoiler)]

As for Baylor, she goes to the campus health clinic, (view spoiler)[finds out she's pregnant, and the student receptionist tells Karen so Karen can give Gavin a heads-up. What the actual eff? Instead, Karen sends Baylor a note "from Gavin" with money and tells her to have an abortion. (hide spoiler)]

Despite their undying insta-love for each other, neither of them bothers to actually be a grown-up here and talk to the other person. I'm also not buying that Gavin, some big shot film producer, and Baylor, a bestselling novelist with 13 books out, have zero social media presence and have never googled each other or anything. Eight years go by and that's when Gavin sees Baylor at a hotel and finds out (view spoiler)[he and Baylor have a kid. (hide spoiler)]

As if this all wasn't silly enough, the author throws in one more "plot point" that is even more ridiculous than the rest. Baylor (view spoiler)[has a stalker. Karen, desperate after her "I'll get myself impregnated by a Gavin-lookalike" master plan fails, somehow tells Baylor's stalker that she's in LA. The stalker finds her and causes a car accident on the freeway that kills Baylor's nanny/best friend and almost kills her. The stalker is then kind enough to resolve her own plot point by killing herself so there can be an uncomplicated HEA. #sarcasm (hide spoiler)]

When Baylor and Gavin finally get back together, we have this charming little passage full of red-flag possessiveness and slut shaming from a guy who has had more partners than he can count and has had zero contact with Baylor in 8 years:
I’ve been on the pill since [spoiler].” He stiffens. “The pill, huh? So, you do this a lot then?” I try to hold in my giggle. He’s jealous because I’m on the pill. Men. “Well, I wouldn’t say a lot, but it’s happened,” I tell him. A look of pain and regret flash across his face. “Just how many times are we talking about, on a scale from one to say . . . slutty?” This time I can’t hold in my laughter and he gets an eye roll to boot. He’s not laughing. His stare is deadly serious. “How many men have there been, Baylor?” It’s almost adorable how he’s been back in my life for two hours and is already possessive of me.

This is *not* adorable. I would have straight up told him to eff off.

Purple Orchids

Reviews