dnfed early i hate books where the mc tries to “read” everybody

I'd give it 6 stars if I could

They’re so precious to me🥺

Ollie and Mia are soulmates and no one can change my mind on that. I loved every second of this book! It was unlike anything I’ve ever read before and I can’t wait to pick up the next one because I need to read more about them 😩 Please look up trigger warnings beforehand.

3 Stars⭐️⭐️⭐️ Ok! So I got to the middle of chapter 14 and all the way through the book was a slow read for me which rarely happens! I think my expectations of this book were made very high by reviews and other people! I had to stop reading this book as i couldn’t get into this book. I have stopped reading this for now and maybe I’ll come back to it to finish it but in the mean time I have literally closed the book!

A heart-breaking and breath-taking novel that ripped my chest open, grabbed hold of my heart and squeezed until my heart was only beating for Stay With Me by Nicole Fiorina. “I was smart, but most sociopaths were.” *pauses to re-read all the 100+ underlined highlights and proceed to cry* Mia is a girl who is emotionally detached from everything; she does not feel a thing. Ollie is a boy who feels intensely. “I was doomed from day one, Mia.” *pauses for the millionth time, just contemplating this masterpiece* Y’all… I don’t even know how to write this review without breaking down. *inhales deeply* “When I wore my venom on my sleeve, he wore his emotions.” Mia gets sent to Dolor, a last resort place before prison or a mental institution, that serves as a college as well as a mental health center. Mia firmly believes she doesn’t have emotions, which is why she lives her life without a care in the world. She’s ruthless and vicious to everyone, not caring for the consequences. “You could never hide from me. You tried to push me away, but I saw the truth in you.” Ollie is a sweet, caring, and passionate human who took one look at Mia and knew he was gone for her. He does everything in his power to get Mia to feel something. These two characters were complete opposites, but Ollie… UGH! I can’t! I feel my heart breaking all over again. He truly embraced all that Mia was and loved her with a passion that I felt deep in my soul. “Stay with me, even when I’m gone.” Stay With Me by Nicole Fiorina consumed my soul. It sunk its claws into my very core and doesn’t ever want to let go. It’s raw, gritty, dark, catastrophic; it’s also a magnificent, well-written, and breath-taking masterpiece that is unpredictable, profound, and soulful. “He became my oxygen, stealing my breath only to return it. My lifeline.” This girl is my heaven. With lips of an angel, the sweet taste of mercy lingers. She has halos in her eyes, and my heart beats to the sound of her wings.

miaollie delivering
(she)grumpyxsunshine (he)
boy falls first
boy obsessed
you're the only one for me

and now - in book two we get kind of memory lost trope cries

it's a tough book with a lot of hard and sensitive topis not treated the way it should've (in my opinion) BUT if you want romance and angst ? this is your book
it was better at the begging and then it started going down in terms of writing (to me !!!) but nvm I'll keep on reading bc the hold miaollie have on me it's - !¡

🏹 “It’s my turn now.” His eyes searched mine. “I don’t understand your need to have to over analyze a situation, or turn to science to justify the way you look at me from across the mess hall—and trust me, I notice—but sometimes you have to let go and allow moments happen the way they are meant to.”
“Meant to?” My mouth went dry, and I was surprised my voice didn’t shake under his intensity.
“Yes, moments like this are meant to happen, and you are fighting against it. Look what this alone is doing to us. Could you imagine what our kiss would be like?” He brought his thumb to my bottom lip and grazed his fingerprint across the surface. One simple touch and my entire body was caving. “Mia, after everything you said, give me a clear indication as to why I shouldn’t at least try.”

🏹Face to face with familiar green eyes, I backed against the wall. The room was dark aside from a hint of the morning sun’s rays coming through the window. Ollie leaned over me and rested each palm against the wall beside me. The smell of mint became a passenger between us as he licked his lips. His gum switched from one side of his mouth to the other before my eyes lifted to his. “I can’t stop thinking about last night,” he admitted. “This morning I woke up sober, and still feel a part of me is missing.”
I opened my mouth, and when nothing came out, I closed it again. Ollie was breathing hard. I was breathing hard. His chest rose and fell with every breath. I couldn’t break away from his stare.
“You said it would pass, but it didn’t. And then in the mess hall, you can’t even look at me … but I want to be seen by you, Mia.” His eyes scanned my face. “I really like it.”

🏹Ollie dropped his head and peered over at me with disbelieving eyes.
And there it was, the same incredulous look I’d seen in both his drunken and sober states. Even in disbelief, he was authentic. I liked that about Ollie. He was simple—easy. When I wore my venom on my sleeve, he wore his emotions. I never had a need to guess what kind of person he was or what he thought because he always came out and said it. He was not complicated, but this thing between us was.

🏹Come on, love,” Ollie teased, and held up his head in his hand. “The notions are saying you have to dance.”
And finally, I did. My hips swayed to the smooth beat, lost in the rhythm. Adrenaline rushed through me as Ollie’s eyes followed my body’s flow. His eyes met mine as they burned with fever. “You’re missing out,” I said with a teasing conviction.
Ollie’s eyes beamed back at me with a wild smile. “I can promise you I’m not.”
Before the song came to an end, I grabbed the phone from his hand. “What is Ollie thinking right now?” And I pressed the almighty powerful shuffle button.
Kings of Leon’s “Sex on Fire” played and I hunched over as a loud laugh came from inside me. Ollie’s stuffed his face into a pillow and my laughter turned into the quiet kind as my vision turned cloudy.
“This whole thing has got to be rigged somehow,” he said with flushed cheeks. He quickly jumped to his feet and towered over me while trying to grab the phone from my possession. My laughs only increased as he pinned me to his torso and wrestled the phone from my hand.

🏹“I can see a change in you sometimes. It’s odd and hard to explain, but I know when you’re with me, and I know when you’re not. Not physically, but in here,” Ollie said, bringing his free finger to my temple. “And in here.” He moved his hand over my chest. His hand remained as each breath I took pressed against his palm. “Don’t leave me this time, alright?”
“I want you to kiss me, Ollie.”
What was I saying? Where was my filter?

🏹You bring me croissants every Saturday, and I’ll gladly bear your children.”
Ollie turned his head to face me and the lump in his throat moved. “I’m holding you to that.” He grinned to lighten the seriousness in his tone, and I quickly averted my eyes from his to our surroundings.

🏹💕
A pair of hands brushed the surface of my arms, and the warmth of Ollie’s body behind me made me smile. “Looks like I get to ask you a question.” His breath heated my neck.
Fingertips traveled down the lengths of my arms until they found mine. The only sound was the beating in my ears, and I fought to keep my body from sinking into him.
Ollie had to have felt the same force because it was him who surrendered the distance between us, pressing his body against mine from behind. He moved my hair off my shoulder to the other side.
“One question.” I managed to gather the two words as his struggling breath entangled in my hair.
“This isn’t fair. There is so much I want to know.” He laced his fingers into mine as he dipped his head down to my ear. “I want to know how you like your coffee, and what your favorite song is. I want to know what annoys you, and the worst thing you’ve ever done. I want to know your greatest fear, and whether or not you talk in your sleep. If you prefer chocolate over vanilla, and if you cried watching The Notebook … if you’ve ever seen The Notebook, or like movies at all. What gives you the greatest high, and what can take all the pain away …” Ollie drew in a deep breath, and at the same time, my heart skipped in my chest. “But what I need to know is … are you willing to open yourself up to me so I can find out?”
“Is that your question?” I stammered, lost in all his words.
“Yes.” He exhaled. “That’s my final question.”
Turning to face him, his eyes filled with hope and wonder, but his absent smile expected the inescapable truth. We both knew there wasn’t anything inside me to open up, an empty shell. So, what exactly did I have to lose?
And, so, it was there, in the middle of the romance section of the maze-like library at Dolor University outside of Guildford in the United Kingdom where I decided I was willing to show him I was nothing more than a hollow soul. “I will only disappoint you.”
“I doubt it.”
“And I’m difficult,” I warned.
“Good.” Ollie grinned. “I wasn’t expecting anything less, Mia. I’m only asking you to knock down a wall. Not even a wall—fuck, carve me out a door. I only want to know you.” He grabbed my hand, and a calmness washed over me.

🏹Ollie’s hand sprang to grab my arm, and pulled me back on top of him without opening his eyes. I buried my face into the crook of his neck and giggled.
“Let me live in this moment for a bit longer,” he whispered.
Breathing in his skin, the mixture of coconut and sandalwood created a weak marine breeze. Turning to his side, the open book fell between us and his arms tightened around me. “It’s safe to say, you don’t talk in your sleep.” His eyes were still closed. It was a possibility if he opened them, a reality check would pour over us like the rain outside.
But only if he opened his eyes.
“That’s a relief.” Stay strong, Ollie, for both of our sakes.
Ollie opened his eyes, folded up the book, and stuck it under his pillow.
“Best nap ever,” he confessed, and moved the hair from my face. His hand lingered around my cheek and he traced his thumb over my bottom lip. “You haven’t got a clue how bad I want to kiss you right now, but I’m trying not to be selfish … for the sake of your wellbeing and all.” A small smile tugged on his lips.
It was torture for us both. I could see it on his face, him falling for me. My reflection stared back through his green eyes, and for a split second, I saw myself the way he saw me, and I was beautiful. I’d warned him. I’d told him before we kissed not to fall for me, but it appeared the heart had a mind of its own and these things you couldn’t control.

🏹I fucking hate you!” I screamed, and Ollie placed his hand over my mouth to silence me.
“I’ll be your punching bag if it’s what you need,” he choked out. “Whatever it will take to get you past this.”
I jerked my head from his hand and turned to face him. “Get past this? Am I a game to you? A conquest?”
His eyes glossed over—hazy. He shook his head as tears gathered at the corners, threatening to fall. “God, no, Mia. I care about you, alright? More than I’ve ever cared for anyone or anything.”
“You need to leave. Now.” I reached my breaking point, and Ollie reached his.
“No, I’m not going anywhere until you tell me what you’re feeling.”
“Right now, I feel … I feel …” I searched inside me, and there was absolutely nothing. “I told you I don’t feel, Ollie. What the hell do you want from me?”
Ollie took a step back and whispered, “You, Mia. I just want you.” He studied my face for a moment as his tears held on by a thread. All it would take was one blink of his eyes, and they would roll down his cheeks.
There was so much he wanted to say, but I was already gone, and Ollie was defeated.
He let my arms go, took in a deep breath, and glanced around the room until he located his shirt. “You hate me. It’s a feeling, and I’ll take it for now, but we have something, Mia. I don’t know what it is yet, but it’s real, and it’s rare, and I’m not letting it go. You can deny it and push it down as much as you want, but we’re both here for a reason, and until you start realizing what’s going on, I’ll be the one to show you.” He paused and slipped his shirt over his head. “I’ll continue to fight for as long as it takes.”
I glanced up at Ollie in silence as his lively eyes searched mine one last time, but there was no going back to him. He closed his eyes, let out a breath, then turned and walked out the door.
Inevitable.

🏹Ollie exhaled and placed a palm against the wall beside me. Leaning into my ear, he said, “Mia, I only want you … I want to be found by you across the room, I want your lips on mine whenever I want, and I want to feel myself inside you. I need it. You and everyone else your entire life has told you that you’re incapable of feeling, but you’re all wrong. What happened in your room, that was real—a feeling so strong, you flipped out because you haven’t felt like that before, and I promise you will never feel that again with anyone else. I’m not going to save you, Mia. I don’t want to be the one. I’m going to show you how to save yourself.”
“Twenty seconds,” Jake called out.
Ollie brought his attention back to me. “Now this paper in my hand says I can’t touch you, and I’m not supposed to have you speak, but I have to hear it from you. And be frank with me, Mia, do you feel for me?”
My palms began to sweat and my mouth went dry as his green eyes searched mine. “I know you’re in there,” he whispered as the mint from the gum in his mouth brushed my trembling lips, and I wasn’t sure if it was a reaction to Ollie or the biting cold. All I was sure of was I needed his warmth.
I dropped my chin in a small nod and met his eyes again. A boyish smile reached his eyes and a single finger rested under my chin as he leaned in a little closer. “Say it, Mia.”
╰It’s between you and me.” He returned his palm to the brick and leaned back in. “Now, I’m dying right now. Answer me.”
“Yes,” I said, voice cracking. “I feel for you, I always have. And no matter how hard I try not to”—I shrugged—”it won’t go away. It’s always there.”
Ollie’s lips twitched. “You can stop fighting now, Mia.”
My heels lifted off the ground, and without an afterthought, my mouth found his. I felt his smile against my lips before they molded with mine, and I slipped my tongue inside, craving the taste of him. Ollie’s body relaxed against me as he held my head in his hand, and took my bottom lip between his teeth.

🏹He held my gaze in the mirror, his green eyes glued to my brown ones as if once they separated, he would lose me.
“Would you look at us together.” He nudged his head toward the mirror as he grinned. Two pairs of eyes stared back in the reflection. One pair was mine. The other was his—a vibrant soul, bright enough to compensate for my lack thereof. He was beautiful. I wondered what he saw.
“Right there … you see your eyes?” He asked. “Usually your color is so dark, it’s hard to tell when your pupil ends, and your iris begins. Most of the time, this hollow void dominates you, but look at your eyes now.” I honed in on my eyes in the mirror. They were an amber color I’d never seen before. “The glow … it’s your soul shining through. Your eyes brighten when we’re together, and that is how I know …”
“Know what?”
Ollie smiled and pulled me closer against him. He lowered his head to my ear. “I bring out that light in you. You do feel for me, and I never needed to hear you say it, Mia. All these times I asked you, it was for you to hear it for yourself. It’s only when we’re apart when we’re broken like two jagged pieces—we belong together. I can see it in your eyes, and now you can see it, too. But you always knew, haven’t you? You never needed proof.”
Wordless, I lost myself in this new shade of color he’d shown me. He was able to have this effect on me. There was no logic or science behind it, but the proof was in front of me this whole time. A part of me did always know there was something about him. My enslaved heart knew before my mind could comprehend—the reason I could never shut him out entirely, no matter how hard I tried. It was because he was already a part of me. All along, we’d been connected. My light illuminated in his presence because his soul was the one mine had been promised to.
It was him.
It was Ollie.
“I once asked you to open yourself up to me, to carve me out a door …” his warm breath traced along my neck as he spoke and I had a hard time standing still “… but I need you to let me in entirely. I need all of you, Mia.” I tried to swallow as he pressed against my back. “Why do you continue to pull me in only to push me away?”
My head spun. My ears rang. My Ollie-level raised to complete overdose. He wanted me—all of me. Every broken piece of my body, my heart, and new-found soul, all pierced with glitter made of pain. A hassle to shake away because they were tiny fragments embedded into the deepest parts of me. “Because you scare the hell out of me.”
His gaze left the mirror and peered down at me. “Why?”
“When you’re beside me, you make me feel alive, and when you’re gone, the small fire you built inside me is left burning, reminding me of the way I felt with you.

🏹Mia,” he breathed from below, and my eyes blinked open as the rest of me broke apart. “You’re my everything. You’re my heaven.”
“And you’re my hell,” I replied

🏹His warmth enveloped me immediately, and the bitterness from the Looney Bin vanished. It was only us. He moved the hair from my face and found my eyes. “I’m sorry.” He exhaled.
I shook my head and pulled my brows together. “What are you apologizing for?”
He dropped his head for a moment before looking back at me. “You told me not to fall, but I’ve fallen so fucking hard …” He wet his lips and scanned my face before his eyes returned to mine. “I’m so in love with you, Mia.”
Each word hit me like a clash of thunder, and I swallowed the stinging sensation behind my eyes as I looked into his. I’d never seen the look of love before, but it was staring right back at me. It wasn’t so much about how his eyes were transfixed on me, a firm grasp on my heart, his soul anchoring to mine, but how they made me feel.
And suddenly, I wasn’t falling anymore.
I was flying.
Ollie wasn’t expecting anything in return. Instead, he lowered his head, and his kiss was its own testimony. The calm in his lips, the slow caress of his tongue against mine, and the way it was so powerful yet tame transformed a heart of gray back to color. Ollie had that power—together, we had that power.

🏹… “I love you, Mia”
(...)
Our chests rose and fell in unison as my head dropped into the curve of his neck. He wrapped his long arms around me, pulling me close as our heavy breathing gradually went back to normal. He ran his hand over my hair before lifting my chin to kiss him, and it was in that moment hot water spilled from the corner of my eye, and the taste of salt seeped onto our lips.
Ollie pulled me away and searched my face. “Mia, you’re crying,” he said through an exhale, and kissed a tear below the corner of my eye before it had a chance to fall. “Bloody hell, you love me.” Relief set in his eyes.
“But, I don’t believe in love,” I whispered.
“Then believe in me.” Ollie grinned. “Believe in us.”

🏹Ollie never belonged here. “What’s EI?”
“Emotional Intensity. Basically, I feel too much, while you feel nothing.” Ollie dropped his head to see my reaction. “It’s as if this world is playing a cruel joke on us.” He laughed softly. “But I can’t help but know we belong together.” He moved his fingers up and down my arm. (…)
“I wish I could feel things like you, Ollie. It’s a gift. There’s nothing wrong with you. I can’t imagine how you would be on medication. I guess you would be like how I was, and I don’t want that for you. Sometimes I believe you’re so good, not even this world deserves you—I don’t deserve you.”
“Are you kidding? I’ve been waiting all my life for you,” He smiled. “With you, I have to fucking pinch myself constantly because there’s no way I’m this lucky. When I first saw you in the mess hall, I kept staring, waiting for you to disappear.” He laughed lightly. “You are real, yeah? You aren’t some figment of my imagination. You’re a real girl who feels for me?” He closed one eye, and he couldn’t force his beautifully stupid smile away.
(...)
Embrace it, Mia. Every moment, no matter how long it lasts, it’s all worth it, yeah?”
I nodded.
“Let me do all the worrying. You only focus on living in the moments we do have. If you ever get lost, I’ll always find you.”
Ollie pulled me closer, and I rested my head over his chest. He ran his fingers through my locks as I thought about everything he’d gone through. Even after his past, Ollie refused to shut off his breaker or take medication. He still wanted to feel.
He always wanted to love, he just never had anyone to love him back.
“What’s the first thing you’re going to do when you get out of here?” he asked.
“Put my toes in the water. What about you?”
“Find you … then take you to the ocean.” He couldn’t see, but I was smiling. “I want a life with you, Mia. I’ve never wanted anything more. Do you think we can survive the next two years? Think we’ll be able to make it?”
I sighed. “God, I hope so.”
There was a sudden skip in his breathing. “I can’t lose you,” he whispered.
“You won’t.”
The rising of his chest and the beating of his heart soothed me as my eyelids grew heavy.
“I have to leave soon,” he hesitantly said.
“Wait until I fall asleep. I can’t watch you walk out the door.”
“I should have brought The Notebook.” He laughed lightly.
“I’m serious, Ollie.”

🏹 All the questions seemed irrelevant at this point, and I brought my hand to Ollie’s face. He closed his eyes under my touch. He was so beautiful. My thumb grazed his bottom lip as his jaw relaxed. I had no chemicals in my body, nothing to influence or persuade me to feel for him. I just simply did. Our flame flickered, reminding me it was still there. As long as I had Ollie, it would continue to burn.
Softly, I pressed my lips to his and kneeled over the mattress. Ollie’s mouth was tender, his tongue soothing as he kissed away every doubt I’d had since I’d arrived at the Looney Bin.
“Oh god, I missed you, Mia,” he whispered with his forehead to mine. I slipped my hands under his shirt and over his warm and familiar skin. Ollie captured my lips with his momentarily before hesitantly pulling away again. “I came to make sure you were alright."

🏹It was only us. He moved the hair from my face and found my eyes. “I’m sorry.” He exhaled.
I shook my head and pulled my brows together. “What are you apologizing for?”
He dropped his head for a moment before looking back at me. “You told me not to fall, but I’ve fallen so fucking hard …” He wet his lips and scanned my face before his eyes returned to mine. “I’m so in love with you, Mia.”
Each word hit me like a clash of thunder, and I swallowed the stinging sensation behind my eyes as I looked into his. I’d never seen the look of love before, but it was staring right back at me. It wasn’t so much about how his eyes were transfixed on me, a firm grasp on my heart, his soul anchoring to mine, but how they made me feel.
And suddenly, I wasn’t falling anymore.
I was flying.
Ollie wasn’t expecting anything in return. Instead, he lowered his head, and his kiss was its own testimony. The calm in his lips, the slow caress of his tongue against mine, and the way it was so powerful yet tame transformed a heart of gray back to color. Ollie had that power—together, we had that power.

🏹Ollie pulled me away and searched my face. “Mia, you’re crying,” he said through an exhale, and kissed a tear below the corner of my eye before it had a chance to fall. “Bloody hell, you love me.” Relief set in his eyes.
“But, I don’t believe in love,” I whispered.
“Then believe in me.” Ollie grinned. “Believe in us.”

🏹I knocked twice over his door, and his beautiful raspy voice came from the other end.
“Who’s there?”
His voice resurrected my Ollie-smile.
“Water,” I said, this time in my American accent.
Seconds passed, and I imagined seeing his lips turn up into his contagious smile.
“Water who?”
“Water you doing, love? Let me in …” I laughed.
The door opened, and Ollie stood in his black jeans, loose white tee, and a lopsided grin. His hair poked out from under his beanie as he leaned against the open door. “I’m dreaming, yeah?” His body relaxed at the sight of me. “Because if I am, don’t you dare wake me up.” I closed the gap between us and reached for his hand before lacing my fingers in his. Ollie’s eyes closed as a slow exhale left his lips. “I was lost without you.”
He pulled my hand around his waist and wrapped his long arms over me, pinning me to his chest. And we stood like that for a while, holding each other in an affectionate silence, unwilling to let each other go. Burying my face into his chest, I knew Ollie had been the one to show me how to save myself.
He pressed his lips against my forehead before his chin rested over the top of my head.

🏹 “I didn’t say anything before because I wasn’t sure myself, but Ollie, I remember everything that happened to me. But most importantly, I can feel, and it’s going to stay. I’m staying. All you asked was for me to believe in us, and I do. That belief turned into something beautiful, and now I understand.” My voice broke as my eyes watered. “I’m staying because with you I have a home, Ollie … it’s in here.” I rested my palm against his chest.
A single tear fell from his eye before he wiped his face on the sleeve of his shirt. “Emotional intensity …” he reminded me through a mutter as if crying in front of me would make me look at him differently.
I reached for his face and fixed his glossy eyes in front of me. “You should never be ashamed, Ollie, never in front of me. Your heart is beautiful. You’re beautiful.” He nodded as another tear fell and I stood on my toes to press my mouth against his salty lips.
His kiss in return was more firm and urgent, and his lashes were wet against mine as he pulled me away from the door and over the mattress on the floor.

🏹“The moment you walked through the mess hall, I knew I was fucking doomed. And, Christ, when we first kissed …” he shook his head. “I can’t go back to a time before you, Mia. We can never not be together.”
Grabbing his hand from his lap, I dropped my head over his shoulder. “We can’t. We won’t.”

🏹Minutes passed, and Ollie slid in the chair beside me. He pressed his forehead to the side of my head and mine leaned into it like a reflex. “How do we say goodbye if I can’t kiss you?” His breath in my ear, the graze of his nose, and the closeness of his body all violated rules from our conversation earlier.
“Easy. We don’t say goodbye.”
Ollie pulled away and the frown lines between his eyes deepened. “I can’t leave a room without thanking you for your presence, Mia.”
I grinned from ear to ear. “Well I have a hard time watching you walk away from me, so I suppose that makes us even.”
“I don’t want even. I want a solution,” He growled and turned his whole body to face me.

🏹“Alright, I have an idea.” His eyes met mine and a smile emerged from his gleaming lips. “You know how I always ask you to close your eyes?” I nodded. “When one of us has to part from the other, I’ll tell you to close your eyes. We imagine we’re kissing—and in your mind, I’m a fucking fantastic kisser, by the way—but we don’t say goodbye, and you count to ten before you open your eyes again so you won’t have to watch me walk away.”
The way his eyes lit up, I couldn’t say how ridiculous it sounded. “Okay.”
Ollie squeezed my thigh. “Close your eyes, Mia.”

🏹Ollie shook his head with a smile and reached over to grab the phone from off the floor to turn on a song, I assumed for the others to dance to, but the one he picked was nothing I’d expected. “Is this Miley Cyrus?” I asked, and let out a giggle.
“Oh, hush. I pushed shuffle, but this ‘Adore’ one’s good.” Then he raised the blanket higher over me. “How are we going to do this?” he asked with a crooked smile and adventure in his eyes. “You’re making me feel like a bloody kid again. I love it.”
“As I said, you just lay there. Don’t move,”

🏹“I had my fair share, Mia. But I knew as soon as I saw you, I was looking at the one. A condom means a casual fuck to me, and you are anything but. I believe in what we have, and as long as you were on birth control, I wanted to give myself to you completely. No barriers, no fucking condom, just me. Something I’d never given any woman before you. There never will be anyone else, I’m certain of it …” He ran his thumb down my bottom lip before resting his fingers under my chin, “I love you, Mia. I never told anyone that, ever. You have my entire heart, and you have the power to rip it out of my chest and obliterate it completely, but I have belief you won’t.”
It was a far better explanation than I could have asked for. Ollie had given me more than just himself. He’d lain it all on the line—his love, his feelings, his body—following a belief we were meant to be together. It was a beautiful thing, becoming entirely vulnerable to another human being who could potentially destroy you. But no doubts ever came from him. No hesitations. No questions.

🏹“No, love, far from it. You were a little girl who was put in an impossible situation, and having to deal with it all on your own for too long.” He paused and wiped his face across his sleeve. “You got through it the only way you knew how, and now you have me. You never have to go through it alone. Ever. I’m right here, Mia. I’ll never leave you. I’ll always hear you. I promise you. It’s going to be you and I, do you understand me?”
“I’m no longer the girl you fell in love with, Ollie. I’m broken now. I’m not strong anymore. I don’t have my walls up, or my flip switched.”
“How is the light supposed to shine through your walls, Mia?” He exhaled as another tear fell from his eye, and he looked up to the ceiling for composure or to find words. “You think that’s why I fell in love with you, yeah? Because you were tough? I saw straight through your bullshit from the beginning. You could never hide from me. Yeah, you tried to push me away, but I saw the truth in you. Around me, you are different because it’s us. And I fell in love with us.”

🏹he pulled the blankets around us, his scent and the covers both blanketed me. Calming. He intertwined his legs through mine and moved my hair off my neck before pressing his lips against my skin. “I can’t keep pretending, Mia.”
“Ollie …”
He pinned me to his torso. “No. What we have isn’t meant to be a secret.” He took my hand and brought it out in front of us before slipping one of his rings over my finger. “My promise to you, Mia. Whatever happens, it will never burn out, alright?”
Nodding, I laced my fingers into his and brought his hand close to my chest as Ollie burrowed his head into my neck.
I didn’t know much about love, but one thing he had taught me was to embrace it. Seize it as soon as it touches you. Drown in the feeling when it penetrates your soul. With love so deep, and a tomorrow never promised, every second in its brilliance was precious.
These were our moments that would fade into memories, and no one could take them away from us.

🏹Why are you crying, love?”
“It’s because I know.
“What do you know?”
“I can no longer be without this … without you,” I said. Ollie grinned and pinned my chest against his as I continued, “Until I met you, I never thought about a tomorrow...” Another tear fell down my cheek, warm and comforting. “I know not today, or next year, but maybe when we get out of here, if you ask me to be with you forever, my answer will always be ‘yes.’ I wanted to tell you now because right now I realize I love you, Ollie, and I wanted you to be a part of this moment in knowing, too.” I exhaled. “And somehow, I’ve loved you this whole time … I just wasn’t ready to accept it.”
I’d never in a million years thought those words would ever fall from my lips. I had it bad for the boy who felt too much.
Ollie dipped his head back and raised a brow. “Mia Rose Jett, are you pre-proposing to me?” A boyish grin spread along his features as he scanned my face.
Lifting my shoulder in a half shrug, I only replied with the same smile.
“You know, I’m supposed to propose, right? I’ll be damned if you take that away from me.” He rolled over on top of me and settled between my legs. “You want to know when I knew?”
I nodded as he rocked his hips back and forth against me.
“I woke up one morning from a nasty hangover, made my way to the bathroom, and when I opened my eyes, there you were. Standing there, staring back at me, and I just knew.”
I pushed against his shoulder playfully. “We’d never even talked yet.”
“We didn’t have to. I looked up, and this voice inside my head said, ‘There she is, there’s the girl I’ve been waiting for,’ and you stared back at me with those bright light-brown eyes and I swear I almost fell to my knees right then. It took everything I had not to. In the mess hall, I thought you were an apparition, like a figment of my imagination, but the morning in the bathroom, you changed my whole world, and you had no clue.” He brought himself on his elbows as my head rested between them, and ran his fingers up my forehead and through my hair.
His passionate kiss left promises of forever across my lips

🏹Ollie caught my wrist and pulled me closer. “Kiss me,” he commanded, “before everyone gets here.” Relaxing against him, I stood on my toes as he dipped his head down to meet my lips. “Mmm … I’m warming up already,” he growled.
Breathing him in, I whispered through an exhale, “I love you, Ollie.”
He moaned. “Say it again.”
I kissed the sensitive spot below his ear because I knew what it did to him. “I love you.”
Ollie hummed into my neck, and it was a beautiful sound. “I’ll never tire of hearing you say those words.” And he captured my mouth again.

🏹because I’m yours, Mia, and you’re mine, and that’s all I’ll ever know and see.
“Last night confirmed it for me. I didn’t want to hear your explanation at the time. I didn’t want to say something stupid I didn’t mean. I only wanted to feel what we have. I wanted to make sure you being with him didn’t taint that fucking feeling, and it didn’t. Not for me, anyway.” Ollie exhaled and closed his eyes.

🏹Things will get difficult, but nothing is going to change the way I feel for you. I won’t allow it. My heart won’t allow it. Every breath I take is wasted if you aren’t in my life, and I know my brother, Mia. My brother doesn’t walk away from a girl. My brother gets a slice of something, and he doesn’t stop …” Ollie’s eyes fell on mine, tears falling, AND he did nothing to wipe them away

🏹Ollie leaned into my ear. “Close your eyes, Mia.”
I spun around to face him. “Why?”
“Six … five …”
Ollie wrapped his fingers around my chin and brushed his nose to mine. “Just close your eyes, my love. Pretend we’re far away from here and I’m holding you in the middle of the city under those lights.”
“Ollie …”
“Two!”
“Do it for me.” Ollie dipped his head and kissed my objection away. I gripped his sides to keep from falling back as he held my head in his hands. His lips melted over mine, soft and captivating. His hand traveled to my neck as he swept his thumb along my jawline. Our tongues crashed, and all my senses kindled against his fervor.
He pulled away slightly and brushed our mouths together as I inhaled his sweet breath. “Happy New Year, baby,” he whispered, his lips turned up into a smile against mine.
“Happy New Year.”
Turning around in Ollie’s arms, I looked back out the window to see the firework display as Ollie slowly swayed me back and forth with his long arms tight around my waist. Shades of red, purple, and white glowed in the distance, shooting from a nearby city, creating designs in the velvet black before sizzling into a stardust rainfall.
Closing my eyes, I pictured being under those colors, inside Ollie’s arms, with the night wind in my hair. Ollie pressed his lips to the back of my head before resting his chin over it.

🏹Twenty-nine hours? It only seemed like four. “What have you been doing this whole time?”
“Reading.” He ran his hand over my forehead and through my hair. “I can’t leave you, Mia.

🏹He chuckled and gripped my wrist, bringing me on top of him. My chest crashed against his, and Ollie moved the hair from my face and looked into my eyes. “I love you, Mia, and I’ll never not want you.”
“What did you mean ‘the second-best feeling in the world’?”
Ollie pressed his brows together as his forehead wrinkled. “I tell you I love you and you’re stuck on that?” I nodded, and he smiled. “The best feeling is the way you look at me.” He shook his head as if nothing he could say would measure up. “The way you look at me makes me feel like I’m someone important, you know? Someone you appreciate, and I’m deserving of you in return. I’m someone you’re in awe of, and that feeling is the best feeling in the world, and I’ll gladly spend forever making sure I’m worthy of that look.”
My flushed cheeks dropped into the curve of his neck. “You read too many books,” I said through a giggle.
He rolled me over to my side and held my waist. “Oh, come on now, love. It wasn’t even a line. It came from my mind.”
“Uh huh … you’re a poet, and you didn’t even know it?”

🏹Shit.” Ollie sighed as we got to our feet. “I love you, Mia … always. You have to remember that, alright?”
I nodded, and he looked past me to Lynch as he ran his nervous hand through his hair and gripped the ends.
Another tear fell from his eye as his breathing turned jagged. “Fuck it,” he said and crashed his mouth to mine in a last attempt of desperation to convince me, or remind himself, or give himself something to hold on to, or all of it. He grabbed my face as he pressed his forehead to mine and his warm tears transferred to my cheek as he gasped for air.
“Close your eyes, Ollie,” I whispered, bringing my hands over his and removing them from my face. Ollie clenched his eyes closed as more tears shot down like dying stars.
I took one last look at him, hoping the next time I would see him, nothing would change. We were stronger than any pill. It seemed extreme, what medication could turn people into, and maybe he was overreacting. Medicine couldn’t come between us. He was confident it would, but I was confident what we had could conquer anything.

🏹

*6 meses antes, la primera vez que ollie ve a mia e interactúan desde el pov de ollie*



Her presence, it was overwhelming.
My hands dropped to my side.
Mia.
I only saw her, and she saw me.
Her eyes on me kept me steady. Her eyes on me allowed me to exist. Her eyes on me made me important. She made me feel like I was something to be in awe of. Something to be worthy of.
A somebody. Her somebody.
A rush of emotions washed over me as I stopped in my tracks. My feet were useless and unable to move. I felt lost, utterly lost, and I suddenly didn’t know where I was or how I had ended up here. I felt found, discovered by her, and I never wanted her eyes to leave mine. I felt scared, fucking petrified, if we lost this eye contact, she would disappear. I felt peace, undeniably calm in her existence. I felt resurrected, awakened, and I didn’t know how I had lived this long without this privilege of being in her presence.
The pounding of my heart was the only sound as everything else went silent. It beat so loud. Could she hear my heart beating? It was speaking. It told me I had found her.
There.
She.
Is.
There was the girl I had been waiting my whole life for.
I was so weak, it was embarrassing. Staying on my feet became a struggle, when all my body wanted to do was fall to my knees.
Dammit, Mia, I already fell for you.
And suddenly, everyone was wrong. Except for Thomas Mann. Thank you, Mr. Mann, for you gifted me words for everything this moment had brought me. Will Mia be okay with naming our first son after you? Little Thomas Mann Masters.
No matter how hard I tried, I couldn’t force away the stupid smile on my face. I was smiling, and it was the first bit of movement my muscles were able to overcome since the shock.
If I didn’t speak now, I would scare her away, but I had forgotten how to speak. It was right there, just one word. Bloody hell. It came up from my chest. The word pumped from my own heart. The heart she now owned.
“Hi,” I breathed. Oh, good, I was breathing. I wasn’t fucking dead. I was alive, and she had become my heaven on earth.
She smiled, and I fell all over again. Her top lip thinned out when she smiled, but the bottom lip kept its perfect shape. I loved her smile. I wanted to kiss her smile. I wanted to wake up to her smile every blessed morning.
Morning.
I knew I liked the mornings for a reason.
This was the beginning of a brand new day for her, but for me, this was the beginning of our lives together. She just didn’t know it yet.
“Hi,” she said, and the one syllable engulfed me entirely. I swam in it. I drowned in it. I wanted to say something more, but my heart was still recovering. Though, I doubted it would ever recover. Nothing about me would ever be the same after her.
I was certain of it.
We stood staring at each other, and I was not sure how long it had been. I took all of her in. Her eyes, though we were five feet away, were golden brown

🏹she was a masterpiece.
But it was not the almond shape of her eyes, or the style of her hair, or even the way her lips moved when she uttered the simplest word causing my heart to stop. No, it was how I was finally home. It was not love at first sight, Mr. Mann. She had always been a part of me. My soul already knew hers, and it was now, in this fucking moment, when we were finally reunited. And there she stood, the girl I belonged to. I was no longer homesick. I was complete.
She turned away, and my heart suddenly crippled. It crippled because her eyes weren’t on me. I needed her to see me. I didn’t exist without her eyes on me.
I took steps toward her, and I never wanted to take another step unless it was in her direction. We were so close; I was careful not to touch her. God, did I want to touch her. I leaned over to grab a towel, making sure to keep a distance, but the distance was the last thing we needed. My skin was inches from hers, yet the beauty radiating from her soul penetrated everything. Me. My body. My heart. Everything. Her warmth was ecstasy, and I wanted to fall asleep in it every damn night.

🏹My eyes found hers in the mirror. She was my reflection. She was my other half. She was everything I wasn’t. She completed me. She was home.
Words came out of my mouth, and I was certain my voice shook, but I had to hear her again. I had to keep talking to her because if I didn’t, I might’ve exploded. “Mia, right?” The name sounded so amazing coming from my lips. Poetry. When I said “Mia,” I instantly became a poet. I never wanted to speak another name again. Nothing else would feel right coming from my lips. She looked into my eyes in the mirror, and though I wanted to keep them on me, her presence pulled my body in.
“Yeah, that’s right,” she said, but an ache crept behind each word.
Turning to face her, I leaned into the sink because if I didn’t, I would fall. She looked into my eyes. She looked deep into them, and I looked deep into hers. We saw each other. There was so much her eyes said, I couldn’t keep up. She was scared. She was screaming. She wanted me. No. She needed me. I needed her more. She was trapped. I hear you, Mia. I’m right here. I wanted to comfort her. I wanted to hold her, but I couldn’t bloody move.
What happened to you, love?
What was happening to me?
I extended my hand because that was what people did when they met, but I had a need to touch her, to soothe her, and there was a chance she would find comfort in that. “I’m Ollie,” I said, but I wanted say so much more. Usually, I had no filter, but with Mia, I had no words. I wanted to tell her everything. I wanted her to tell me everything.
Fucking gobsmacked.
Her hand connected with mine, and I didn’t shake like I usually would; I only held on. I held on to this feeling possessing me. The warmth. Our completeness. My breathing calmed, but my heart pulsated like a drum. Did she see what she was doing to me? Her little hand fit perfectly in mine, and her touch only confirmed all my beliefs. We were meant to be together.
My stupid smile returned.
Though I didn’t want to pull away, I did. Fuck. I needed to get ahold of myself. I fidgeted with my toothbrush and razor, scattering things on the sink when I finally got a glimpse of myself in the mirror. Holy hell, I looked like a bloody mess. I frantically ran my fingers through my hair, but nothing tamed. Not my hair. Not my mind. Not my heart.

🏹I forced myself out of the bathroom, and I couldn’t breathe. We were too far apart, and that’s when I knew I was doomed. I wasn’t sure how to feel about it, but there was a recognition my heart could no longer be without. She was lost, but I would find her.
I’m right here, Mia. Stay with me


FIN

4.75 miaollie deserve so much they couldn’t catch a break once ☹️🫂

miaollie had a very very very intense all consuming love it felt a bit much at times i definitely would have eaten this up a few years ago but i get why people like it

This wasn’t a bad book, it just felt like it took forever to read. It was missing that feeling that I get when I read books and time doesn’t exist. But still, it wasn’t overall bad.

4.5 i started getting bored towards the middle but THAT ENDING ??? saved the whole book & shattered my heart. i love ollie sm ☹️

i feel everything and nothing at the same time, el epílogo es lo mejor que he leído en mi vida btw, i'm still crying

"Why couldn’t you stay with me, Ollie?" no one talk to me, I'm crying my eyes out, adios

ten fucking stars. where do i even start??? this book was beautiful. i’m actually speechless. ollie is so pure, and his and mia’s relationship was everything and more.

This book touched me on a whole other level, it was at the same time comforting and disturbing. But even though I loved the characters, I got a little bit bored by the plot. Maybe it’s because I‘m not a romance reader, but I constantly tried to figure out what the point of the plot actually is. I‘m sorry but a story solely about two people and their feelings for one another is not enough to keep me interested 🙉

Guysssssss!!! This book was BEAUTIFUL and so poetic!!! Omg Ollie has my heart!! The sweetest book boyfriend over! This is a story of growth and overcoming the odds!! Ollie and Mia are so good for one another!! 🥰🥰🥰🥰 Can Oliver please write a poem about me?! The extra chapter written from ollies POV made me the happiest!!!

Okay wow, I started this book on a whim & it was hard to push through it. I found the beginning to be very slow but then BAM it hit me all in the fucking feels and emotions I experienced with this book was out of this world. There are ALOT OF TRIGGERS IN THIS BOOK. It was hard to read through it all but I couldn’t help wanting to know how the story would unravel. I want to say that Mia & Ollie relationship isn’t a good one because they have become dependent on each other but given the circumstances I would say it’s better that than nothing. This author created a masterpiece I can tell you that & I’ve only read book one..

"I need you to feel for me, and once you do, I need you to stay." Stay with me is the first of its kind. That's right... this is not your average love story. This is a story of a girl so broken she has chosen not to feel. She has tried for death, for vengeance... anything. Nothing worked... until Ollie. Ollie knew the moment Mia walked into the institute of the broken that she was the one. The tattooed reckless boy is known for feeling too much... the opposite of his new found attraction, and its his mission to show her feeling love is worth all the rest to resurface. Before you heal you must break. "Stay with me, even when I'm gone." I loved this story for the references to some of my all time favorite love stories. I also loved the dark world that Nicole has created. She has a powerful way of writing words to paper that make you fall in love and break you in two. Almost Shakespearean and poetic. Read if you like: -mental health and the feelings some drown in -fated and forbidden love -a Romeo and Juliet vibe -the notebook -depth and danger of family -awareness to victims I don't normally catch triggers BUT this are prevalent and very front and center for a reason, this may not be for everyone. TW: pharmaceutical abuse, rape, drugs, alcohol abuse, bullying, suicide, depression, front row to victims of assault, and toxic relationships why I dropped a star: honestly the book was fantastic... I think I just craved a bit more happiness... this was a mood for me, not against the book. Either way I cannot wait to continue this series Rating: Characters-⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️ Genre-Dark Romance Story-⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️ Steam- This was a scolding hot shower that never got cold🔥 hot diggity dawg Song: Adore You by Miley Cyrus

This book... Oh. My. God! I fell in love with it from the first pages. At first, I thought Mia is such a genuine character. She was different. Cold. Smart. She could read people very easily. But then... Then I found out Ollie, that was completely different than her, and still the same. I don't know. Everything was amazing. Can't wait to read the next book because of the ending 😭 please read this, I promise is it worth it.

A heart-breaking and breath-taking novel that ripped my chest open, grabbed hold of my heart and squeezed until my heart was only beating for Stay With Me. "I was smart, but most sociopaths were." *pauses to re-read all the 100+ underlined highlights and proceed to cry* Mia is a girl who is emotionally detached from everything; she does not feel a thing. Ollie is a boy who feels intensely. "I was doomed from day one, Mia." *pauses for the millionth time, just contemplating this masterpiece* Y'all... I don't even know how to write this review without breaking down. *inhales deeply* "When I wore my venom on my sleeve, he wore his emotions." Mia gets sent to Dolor, a last resort place before prison or a mental institution, that serves as a college as well as a mental health center. Mia firmly believes she doesn't have emotions, which is why she lives her life without a care in the world. She's ruthless and vicious to everyone, not caring for the consequences. "You could never hide from me. You tried to push me away, but I saw the truth in you." Ollie is a sweet, caring, and passionate human who took one look at Mia and knew he was gone for her. He does everything in his power to get Mia to feel something. These two characters were complete opposites, but Ollie... UGH! I can't! I feel my heart breaking all over again. He truly embraced all that Mia was and loved her with a passion that I felt deep in my soul. "Stay with me, even when I'm gone." Stay With Me consumed my soul. It sunk its claws into my very core and doesn't ever want to let go. It's raw, gritty, dark, catastrophic; it's also a magnificent, well-written, and breath-taking masterpiece that is unpredictable, profound, and soulful. "He became my oxygen, stealing my breath only to return it. My lifeline."

I love when I go into a book thinking I know what it’s going to be about and getting something even more amazing. Stay With Me was such a sad a beautiful story about two broken people finding love in each other. Mia is a diagnosed sociopath, but she wasn’t always this way. Something from her past has made her disassociate from the world around her. After one too many incidents she is court ordered to a a psych treatment center in the UK. It’s there she meets Ollie, the man who helps her feel something again. Never have I ever highlighted so much in my life. The story of Ollie and Mia was dark yet beautifully optimistic. Two people who are so messed up from the world who are able to find comfort in each other. The writing was some of the best I’ve come across in the romance genre. Ollie had these little poetic quotes at the beginning of each chapter that I lived for. I longed to see the world through his eyes, to find beauty in even the most ugly of moments. Beyond gorgeous writing we get this amazing story about a relationship with so many highs and just as many lows. Did I think the relationship moved too fast and felt a little insta-love? Yes but we’re dealing with two emotionally scarred people and it was believable. Why wouldn’t you cling to the only good thing you’ve ever found in your life? So. Much. STEAM. The sexy moments kept on coming and I couldn’t get enough. Fiorina knows how to write some A+ sex scenes. They were so incredibly hot, non-repetitive and not in the least bit cringey. No overuse of pet names or sayings that can sometimes happen. It was definitely a hot and heavy book filled with love. Ollie was adorable and so sweet. Very much “I make love I don’t fu**” If you’re looking for a cute yet somewhat heartbreaking romance full of sexy scenes I cannot recommend this one enough. Neither Ollie nor Mia is actually crazy, just two people who have been let down by those closest to them and now mentally suffer the consequences. I think I’ve used beautiful one too many times in this review, but it truly is such a beautiful and pure love story.

*DNF* Maybe I would've given this a 2.5 to 3 if I finished the book but, books like this just don't mix well with me. While reading the first few pages I felt (troubled?), the feeling didn't sit right with me so I stopped.

** spoiler alert ** 3.5 Stars ⭐️ ⭐️ ⭐️. This stressed me out 😂 I don’t know who thought shipping all the problem teenagers to one school would ever end well. Our main character is numb to all emotion due to childhood trauma and the main guy deals with over intensive emotions and outbursts. Yes we love two damaged characters. So yeah, they balance each other out. There’s a lot of drama so keep that in mind. They ending had me upset. I am so frustrated rn. The book ends on basically an uno reverse of how it started and forgot real life I’m starting book two now. Ollie in the epilogue 🥺🥺

“Sometimes even the darkest parts of us can become beautiful when seen through a different set of eyes.” This book was so beautifully written. You feel for these characters. Their struggles. You feel for Mia even if she can’t herself. She is told she has a disorder where she is incapable of feelings…though through her struggles we find out it’s more complicated than that. I loved it and highly recommend it. Read this if you like ⤵️ 🖤 Angsty Main Character 🖤 Dual POV 🖤 Forced Proximity 🖤 College / Mental Institution Setting 🖤 Mental Health Representation 🧠 🖤 Spicy Scenes 🌶 ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️💫/5 Stay With Me by Nicole Fiorina