You Don't Know Jack Schmidt

I've always been the social butterfly, the girl with an Angry Vagina Box, the one who goes home with just about anyone for a booty call. So, why in the hell am I lying in bed alone on a Friday night downloading The Watering Hole dating app onto my phone? Wait, what? No. Why am I creating a profile? No, no, fingers! Stop scrolling! Whoa...he's cute. Kind of nerdy chic, but cute. I bet he's a barista. Why am I drooling over the guy who has a strong set of morals and only wears matching socks? Who the hell is this guy?