Tara Westover

Tara Westover was seventeen the first time she set foot in a classroom. Born to survivalists in the mountains of Idaho, she prepared for the end of the world by stockpiling home-canned peaches and sleeping with her “head-for-the-hills” bag. In the summer she stewed herbs for her mother, a midwife and healer, and in the winter she salvaged metal in her father’s junkyard.

Her father distrusted the medical establishment, so Tara never saw a doctor or nurse. Gashes and concussions, even burns from explosions, were all treated at home with herbalism. The family was so isolated from mainstream society that there was no one to ensure the children received an education, and no one to intervene when an older brother became violent.

When another brother got himself into college and came back with news of the world beyond the mountain, Tara decided to try a new kind of life. She taught herself enough mathematics, grammar, and science to take the ACT and was admitted to Brigham Young University. There, she studied psychology, politics, philosophy, and history, learning for the first time about pivotal world events like the Holocaust and the Civil Rights Movement. Her quest for knowledge transformed her, taking her over oceans and across continents, to Harvard and to Cambridge University. Only then would she wonder if she’d traveled too far, if there was still a way home.

Educated is an account of the struggle for self-invention. It is a tale of fierce family loyalty, and of the grief that comes from severing one’s closest ties. With the acute insight that distinguishes all great writers, Westover has crafted a universal coming-of-age story that gets to the heart of what an education is and what it offers: the perspective to see one’s life through new eyes, and the will to change it.

A Memoir

Educated

Kyler Phillips

The past is beautiful because one never realises an emotion at the time. It expands later, & thus we don’t have complete emotions about the present, only about the past.

“Don’t you teach your children to wash after they use the toilet?” Grandma said. Dad shifted the truck into gear. As it rolled forward he waved and said, “I teach them not to piss on their hands.”

The skill I was learning was a crucial one, the patience to read things I could not yet understand.

All my life those instincts had been instructing me in this single doctrine—that the odds are better if you rely only on yourself.

The owl grew restless. When it began to refuse food, we opened the back door and let it escape. It wasn’t fully healed, but Dad said its chances were better with the mountain than with us. It didn’t belong. It couldn’t be taught to belong.

To admit uncertainty is to admit to weakness, to powerlessness, and to believe in yourself despite both.

Not knowing for certain, but refusing to give way to those who claim certainty, was a privilege I had never allowed myself. My life was narrated for me by others. Their voices were forceful, emphatic, absolute. It had never occurred to me that my voice might be as strong as theirs.

The most powerful advantage of money: the ability to think of things besides money.

At dinner I listened to the cheerful chatter of my friends while longing for the isolation of my room.

Whomever you become, whatever you make yourself into, that is who you always were. It was always in you. Not in Cambridge. In you. You are gold. And returning to BYU, or even to that mountain you came from, will not change who you are. It may change how others see you, it may even change how you see yourself—even gold appears dull in some lighting—but that is the illusion. And it always was.”

That image of my father will always stay with me: that look on his face, of love and fear and loss

Although I had renounced my father’s world, I had never quite found the courage to live in this one

My family was splitting down the middle—the three who had left the mountain, and the four who had stayed. The three with doctorates, and the four without high school diplomas. A chasm had appeared, and was growing.

I was of that mountain, the mountain that had made me. It was only as I grew older that I wondered if how I had started is how I would end—if the first shape a person takes is their only true shape.

But vindication has no power over guilt. No amount of anger or rage directed at others can subdue it, because guilt is never about them. Guilt is the fear of one’s own wretchedness. It has nothing to do with other people.

But what has come between me and my father is more than time or distance. It is a change in the self. I am not the child my father raised, but he is the father who raised her.

That night I called on her and she didn’t answer. She left me. She stayed in the mirror. The decisions I made after that moment were not the ones she would have made. They were the choices of a changed person, a new self.

We are all of us more complicated than the roles we are assigned in the stories other people tell.

angie

Guilt is the fear of one's own wretchedness. 

“ It has never occurred to you," he said, “that you might have as much right to be here as anyone." 

It’s strange how you give the people you love so much power over you.

Linda

clara

Hannah Yang

Tara Westover's life story is unbelievable (and it seems like many of the 1* reviews find it too unbelievable -- I am choosing to fully believe her account, especially since she clearly struggled to reconcile her upbringing to her education well into adulthood, but to be honest, even if this were fiction... what a story! the 'takeaways' are no less valid). 

This memoir is a testament to the importance of learning to think for yourself, and Westover's accomplishments throughout the years -- most importantly, finally detaching herself from a family that caused her so much harm -- are truly inspiring. Educated can spark discussion on many important topics (fundamentalism, faith, family dynamics/abuse); my main reflection upon reading it, though, is how grateful I am for the education I have had.

#1 NEW YORK TIMES, WALL STREET JOURNAL, AND BOSTON GLOBE BESTSELLER • One of the most acclaimed books of our time: an unforgettable memoir about a young woman who, kept out of school, leaves her survivalist family and goes on to earn a PhD from Cambridge University “Extraordinary . . . an act of courage and self-invention.”—The New York Times NAMED ONE OF THE TEN BEST BOOKS OF THE YEAR BY THE NEW YORK TIMES BOOK REVIEW • ONE OF PRESIDENT BARACK OBAMA’S FAVORITE BOOKS OF THE YEAR • BILL GATES’S HOLIDAY READING LIST • FINALIST: National Book Critics Circle’s Award In Autobiography and John Leonard Prize For Best First Book • PEN/Jean Stein Book Award • Los Angeles Times Book Prize Born to survivalists in the mountains of Idaho, Tara Westover was seventeen the first time she set foot in a classroom. Her family was so isolated from mainstream society that there was no one to ensure the children received an education, and no one to intervene when one of Tara’s older brothers became violent. When another brother got himself into college, Tara decided to try a new kind of life. Her quest for knowledge transformed her, taking her over oceans and across continents, to Harvard and to Cambridge University. Only then would she wonder if she’d traveled too far, if there was still a way home. “Beautiful and propulsive . . . Despite the singularity of [Westover’s] childhood, the questions her book poses are universal: How much of ourselves should we give to those we love? And how much must we betray them to grow up?”—Vogue NAMED ONE OF THE BEST BOOKS OF THE YEAR BY The Washington Post • O: The Oprah Magazine • Time • NPR • Good Morning America • San Francisco Chronicle • The Guardian • The Economist • Financial Times • Newsday • New York Post • theSkimm • Refinery29 • Bloomberg • Self • Real Simple • Town & Country • Bustle • Paste • Publishers Weekly • Library Journal • LibraryReads • Book Riot • Pamela Paul, KQED • New York Public Library

Elizabeth Wood

An enthralling book. Just as I thought her story couldn’t get worse, somehow it managed to do just that.

Kaitlynn

I listened to this book as an audiobook. I was very intrigued the whole time! The lifestyle and cultural differences had me so wrapped up in this book, I couldn’t stop listening to it. I give props to the hard work and dedication the author had during her life 👏🏼👏🏼

Barbara Williford

“all my years of study, had been to purchase for myself this one privilege: to see and experience more truths than those given to me by my father, and to use those truths to construct my own mind. I had come to believe that the ability to evaluate many ideas, many histories, many points of view, was at the heart of what it means to self-create. If I yielded now, I would lose more than an argument. I would lose custody of my own mind. This was the price I was being asked to pay, I understood that now.”

Tara shares here memoirs about growing up secluded from the real world and reality by her extremist, survivalist parents. One of which she will later discover suffered from a mental disorder. How she is gaslighted by this family to believe she is the demon possessed child and her memories are not the reality she suffered at the hands of her parents and her physical and psychological abusive brother. It leaves her questioning her sanity and reality. It’s not until things come to a head and she seeks counseling that her written memoirs become reality.

Well written and heart breaking but also triumphant and inspiring how she overcomes this upbringing.

Ashley McFarland

Mae Erceg

I see why this book has so many 5 star reviews. It’s such a beautiful memoir of the deep emotional trauma family can cause when deciding your own choices in life. I love the artistic metaphors and world building. It felt as if I was listening to a dear friend tell me genuinely about every detail of her life growing up. I felt so much pain for her through the moments she needed someone there to protect her and joy even when she made decisions I didn’t agree with simply because said “friend” was happy in those choices. There is a lot of heavy subjects throughout such as physical abuse, misogyny, and religion but worth every moment for Tara’s redemption at the end of the book. Again, 5 beautiful stars.

Sarah Schumacher

Don’t read this when you have anything to do or anywhere to be. It’s gripping.

After finishing this, I was struck by several things:

1) how important it is that realization, and consequently change, happens internally. There are several characters in the book that see her situation for what it is, and Tara can’t comprehend what they’re saying. It’s like someone is asleep - they have to choose to wake up. You cannot wake them up from the outside.

2) her inability to accept help. Mercifully, several characters see what’s happening and try so hard to help her. She refuses their help. It does make a difference that they reached out, eventually, so small things do matter. One astute, persistent professor in particular.

3) lack of boundaries. After she’s realized the toxicity of her family, she still allows her visiting parents to stay in her dorm room. For a WEEK. I don’t care how good of a relationship you have with your even normal parents, that won’t fly. You can hear the dread, but she still can’t say no. The strength of a child’s desire (even, especially an adult child) to have a close, functional relationship with their parents (and siblings) is so strong you get the feeling that if there were any attempt by them to reach out she would reciprocate. And this is the kind of relationship that cannot exist in a nontoxic form.

Getting an education was the tipping point, but this book is about much more than that - her journey of learning to stop rationalizing, see the painful truth for what it is, and think for herself. This is worth the read for her incredibly clear, honest writing of self-discovery, and it’s an excellent look into human nature. I hope she continues to seek therapy, learn to stick up for herself, and has the support she needs to navigate whatever comes next.

Bilge Ince

This book has given me more than a self-help book can offer. It is definitely more than a memoir. And Tara Westover is really a brave woman. Living a life like that is really hard as much as creating yourself from the ground, too. 

It was really a journey to reading this book but fascinating and disturbing at the same time. In some parts I wanted to call the writer to ask why any child service didn’t intervene and for the rest I thought that she is crazy since she wants to come back to this insane family. But in the end I realized that no matter how crazy your family you tend to be a part of a whole.

There is so many questions writer left to me. And i feel like I’m tired like i ran kilometers. This book was stunning.

Educated is a story about a women called Tara who grows up in a Mormon survivalist home with six other siblings. She and her siblings have no formal homeschooling or education and work for their father for most of their childhood, despite that you see the journey she's taken to become at one with her own belief systems, her own set of truths, all whilst being pragmatic and never cruel about her family's non-conventional beliefs around avoiding government and society norms.

Half of her siblings have earned Ph.D.s, and this is obviously testament to some toughness and perseverance that was taught by her parents contrary to what shortcomings that might be seen about them throughout the book.

My takeaway was that we are brought into this world as one and we leave as one, you don't end your life being the person your parents raised and your parents don't end up being the person who raised you.

Educated is a story about a women called Tara who grows up in a Mormon survivalist home with six other siblings. She and her siblings have no formal homeschooling or education and work for their father for most of their childhood, despite that you see the journey she's taken to become at one with her own belief systems, her own set of truths, all whilst being pragmatic and never cruel about her family's non-conventional beliefs around avoiding government and society norms.

Half of her siblings have earned Ph.D.s, and this is obviously testament to some toughness and perseverance that was taught by her parents contrary to what shortcomings that might be seen about them throughout the book.

My takeaway was that we are brought into this world as one and we leave as one, you don't end your life being the person your parents raised and your parents don't end up being the person who raised you.

one of the few memoirs I've read that comes from a completely unorthodox perspective. these stories are pivotal for educational inclusion initiatives.  

Xin Ma

so many layers to this memoir - so much to process 

Iona Adams

Cindy

Lane Hokanson

Anum Memon

I very much love this book. It can change your perspective, and I'm glad my sister recommended this. I have to say if you are going to this book it handles very dark topics so please search for trigger warnings. Her whole family dynamic in this book is gas light central.

Lord Aragorn

A difficult book to read but at the same time, hard to put down. At various points, the book made me sad, angry, incredulous, and ultimately hopeful that the author can heal.

Wie Bildung mir die Welt erschloss

Befreit

Susanna P.

"Es ist merkwürdig, wie viel Macht über dich du Menschen gibt, die du liebst." 


Westover schreibt über sich. Manchmal selbst staunend. Dann wieder fassungs¬los. Schonungslos ehrlich. Sie erlebte Missbrauch, Angst, Manipulation. Ich sah dieses kleine Mädchen vor mir, dass nie zur Schule gegangen war. Auch zu Hause wurde sie nicht unterrichtet. Ihr Leben war vorbestimmt. Sie würde einmal Mutter und Hausfrau. Bis dahin half sie dem Vater auf dem Schrottplatz, der Mama mit ihren Kräutern. Bis zu dem Moment, wo ihre innere Stimme immer lauter und unüberhörbar wurde. Sie wusste nun, dass allein Bildung sie aus ihrem familiären Gefängnis befreien konnte. Der Preis dafür, war hoch. Ihre Geschichte ist ein Geschenk, durchbricht das Schweigen. Ihre Sprache 
ist brillant. Sie schreibt flüssig, bildhaft, facettenreich.

Matthew Royal

** spoiler alert **
           A powerful synthesis of one woman's escape from a toxic, reality-distorting tribal faith. I think anyone who has had the way they understand the world destroyed and transformed will find pieces of themselves in Tara's story. This is one I need to reread every year, as a reminder.

Alexa M

Wow. I have NEVER read a memoir that felt so much like a fictionalized story before. Tara’s story is incredible, disturbing, raw, and important. Everyone should pick this up!!!

Meghan Navoy

I loved this book. It's a memoir but read like fiction and was very captivating. A moving and complicated story of a woman who managed to escape abusive upbringing but not without emotional scars.

Thomas DeCelle

Amazing insights into the struggle of becoming educated.

Zoe Stricker

Annabella

Nick Gracilla

A disturbing memoir of growing up isolated in an uneducated, extremist, gun toting survivalist family in Idaho. “Homeschooled” here meant none at all, in a family that eschews modern medicine, the Government, birth certificates, education, basic safety or seatbelts. Not a chapter goes by without major fights, accidents, abuse, or physical and emotional violence. Despite it, the author struggles and succeeds to remake herself, frankly improbably with advanced degrees from Cambridge and Harvard. Recommended with reservations, especially to anyone who thought they had it tough growing up.

Ivy X

What an interesting memoir. I was fascinated by a family structure driven by religion and paranoia @ the government/healthcare/anything mainstream (including education). It was both terrifying, raw, and emotional all at once. Westover does an amazing job at looking into her past, taking into account numerous perspectives and varying takes on certain life events. She also manages to paint her family as something both foreign and isolating yet also a piece of her. 

It was shocking to read about how their family handled illnesses, pain, and even big issues such as concussions/severe burns/etc with essential oils and "connecting with the lord." To put oneself through pain and ignorance (for lack of better words) because of faith made me question why a god that required pain and isolation was worth believing in. Likewise, I thought it was particularly interesting the way the family shielded themselves from numerous traumatizing incidents by brushing it off or believing it was fiction (such as the violence Tara experienced from her brother). 

Westover does a great job at adding in the human touch needed for readers to understand their lives and their perspectives (despite having completely different lived experiences). For instance, when she went to BYU and learned of bipolar disorder, she tied the associations to mental health to her father and her brother. For me, it suddenly made more sense where that heightened paranoia her father and brother had come from and why they sometimes felt warm/familial and other times cold and unfeeling. However, Tara does not excuse their actions (even pointing out the continuation of abuse her brother once projected on to her to his wife; the irrational isolation her parents subjected her to and the lack of trust from those who are supposed to be closest to her). 

Would recommend. Good book.

Educated A Memoir

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