Let them think of us as dirt... She was dirt. Her army was dirt. But dirt was common, ubiquitous, patient, and necessary. The soil gave life to the country. And the earth always reclaimed what it was owed.

4 ⭐

Holy shit. This book, and this whole series, is a tough, exhausting, depressing read, I am not going to lie - but wow, what a story it is! Four stars feels like just the right place for this book, and I am going to say this is a four star series overall. There's absolutely no denying that R.F. Kuang is an amazing author, this trilogy is awe-inspiring and it will stick with me for years to come, but I also need to factor my own enjoyment into my rating, and the simple fact is that these books are hard to read - and not only because of the topics discussed. As I said in my previous review for The Dragon Republic a story about oppression, war and overall hardship is never going to be an easy read, it's something you need to steel yourself for and really sit with as the horror unfolds around you, and I truly believe this was a story that deserved to be told and was told well. But I just can't honestly say that I completely loved it and there's a number of factors that go into that.

Firstly, the pacing in this book was tedious. It was realistic for what was happening in the story though. I really felt like I was there alongside Rin and The Southern Army has they trudged over the Baolei mountain range, hiding in forests and journeying between villages and towns in their acts of liberation and reoccupation, and that was what made up a lot of this book. We travelled from one place to another over and over and it was tiring, not even the moments of action packed warfare could balance it out evenly. This is also a very political book, a large amount of it was made up of strategizing, whether that be war strategizing and referring back to Sunzi's books on how to wage war or finding ways to rebuild the country after all of the destruction or trying to talk Rin into reason, and it became quite a dry and often repetitive read after a while. I understand why some of this is important, it really gets you to connect with the desperation and hopelessness that the character's and populace were feeling, but my gosh, it was a slog to get through at times. I also found it interesting, that while I was really connected to those feelings this book evoked, I wasn't extremely connected to the characters. I felt quite detached from everyone in this story at an individual level except for Rin and Kitay (Kitay will forever remain my favourite character in this trilogy). We experienced a tonne of major character deaths in this book, and I just didn't feel like their deaths impacted me as much as I would think they would given how much of an emotional rollercoaster this book and series was.
SPOILER>>> In particular the Trifecta and Venka's deaths, even Vaisra's death, I just didn't feel as upset or as gratified when these happened. The only deaths that truly made me said was Kitay - how I gaslit myself into thinking he would have a happy ending - and Pipaji - that poor girl, she terrified me just a bit, but my heart truly ached for her.

Rin and Kitay were bonded in a way that he could never understand, and there was no world where Rin died and Kitay remained alive.
END SPOILER<<<

There were a lot of things I did enjoy about this book though. I feel like Rin's character arc improved immensely, in the previous books it felt like she flip flopped a lot between becoming a better person, learning to control her rage, making better decisions for the wellbeing of as many people as she could etc and falling back into bad habits, such as deferring to authority figures and letting her hatred and want for vengeance blind her - but in this book it was really clear, we were watching her steady descent into madness
SPOILER>>>and I knew from really early on that there would be no other option than for her to be taken out for things to improve, as Nezha said in his epilogue: "Rin was a monster, a murderer, a destroyer of worlds. Nothing but blood and ashes ever trailed in her wake. The world was a better, safer, and more peaceful place without her in it." there was truly no way around this.
END SPOILER<<<
I really loved all of the parts of this story that talked about Rin and Kitay's bond, how he made her a more careful person because she wanted to protect him, there were some really beautiful moments between these two, their love for each other, and their balance, the yin and the yang of their personalities, was what really stood out to me in this series.

“I am the force of creation... I am the end and the beginning. The world is a painting and I hold the brush. I am a god.”

Overall, this was a really good read and I absolutely recommend people should read it, but as I've said before, make sure you're in a good place mentally and know that the trigger warning list for this book is a mile long. I am really glad, and relieved, to have finished this series, glad in some ways that's it's over and that I won't have to subject myself to anymore torment, and glad that the ending was so a fitting and I felt like the storyline was really satisfyingly wrapped up, and also glad because this book feels a bit like a canon event that all fantasy readers must embark on at some point. I'm looking forward to diving into more of Kuang's works, and more than a little bit scared too, because... wow, she sure does know how to write a book that will have you sleepless at night, overthinking every little thing that happens in the world.

Kirsty and Rin at the end KILL ME PLEASE, I have no words right now, I hate that it had to end 😔 NEZHA

if i were to reread this entire series, i would stop at the first book, that part where they're still at sinegard, and forget that everything else happened.

in this book though, the first part was just really slow for me. it feels like so much and nothing was happening at the same time. but that ending. i am in utter shock. that was probably the most fcked up ending i've ever read. but also i couldn't think of any ending more suitable than that. i also can't find any other solution. is this what happened to china before? i really have mixed feeling with this.

i don't exactly know what to say. this series was a freaking rollercoaster ride, and it made me realize a lot of things. for one; the answer of the question i've been asking for a long time. in this book, hisperia's religion is supposed to represent catholic or Christianity. we cannot deny the fact the this religion and its belief has been forced upon us. there are also evidences that death had been given to those who would not embrace this religion. and knowing all this, why do we still believe or embrace these beliefs? rin said that because of its peacefulness it brought. the thought that after death, we'll return to this place where there is no chaos, and that really puts us at ease. i also realized this but it's also because believing that someone, Him, is with us, through ups and downs, makes us feel that we're not alone. it kinda made me question so many things (what's the purpose of this belief, if there's any? does this mean that some believed cause of the peace that it brings? i can't really articulate this well with words:( )

also, that your life is not important when it comes to war. you'd just have to suck it up or pray that the damage wouldn't be too big. it's like you're just a pawn in the war politics and higher ups would likely sacrifice you if it's for the good of all. the hardest part is you couldn't really blame them.

what i really love the most in this series was the gods, the pantheon. they are the most interesting in my opinion. i loved reading them so much.

i actually didn't cry throughout the book because of grief. frustration yes, but grief? i feel like kuang's writing wouldn't let me grieve a bit. instead, there's emptiness. there's so much happening you would only realize a character dies after you turn the next page (i am talking about the cike, esp ramsa)

i wanna talk about this book's colonialism but i don't really have enough knowledge for this. might do some research.