Name: The First Time She Drowned
ISBN: 9780399171031

Kerry Kletter

Committed to a mental hospital against her will for something she claims she did not do, Cassie O'Malley signs herself out against medical advice when she turns eighteen and tries to start over at college, until her estranged mother appears, throwing everything Cassie believes about herself into question.

The First Time She Drowned

Elizabeth Neill

I really loved this book and it did make me cry. I felt like I was with Cassie and going through everything with her. The author did a really good job writing all the hard topics and she didn’t make it feel cliche. I just wish we saw more of Cassie’s growth at the end but this book is still in my top 5 books I have read 2019. I would recommend this book to everyone I know. I already have a few people in mind.

Alexa Jade

This book has triggered me, helped me, changed me.

At some parts it scared me how on point this book was. Some of the conversations were conversations I've experienced almost word for word in my own life. Some of the thoughts Cassie has had are thoughts that I have had. 

Even though I experienced triggering scenes I do have a deep love for this book. It felt like I had someone/something out there in the world who/that could understand me and my struggles.
It was worth the read and worth 800 re-reads too. 

I now even have a tattoo inspired by the book!
I highly highly recommend it.

** spoiler alert **
           I absolutely loved this book and the descriptive language used for relationships. This book is written beautifully and is such an important book for any one who has ever been in an abusive mother/daughter relationship like this. 

I wish all mothers and daughters would read this to understand how, sometimes, moms just cannot love due to their own pain and daughters don't care about the mom's pain but just want to be loved.

What a beautiful and inspiring story about the strength to survive an abusive relationship and move on to a better life.

This could be a great recovery book for anyone going through this in their own struggles as a mom/daughter. Perspective is everything.

"First published in the United States of America by Philomel Books, an imprint of Penguin Random House LLC, 2016" --Title page verso.

María Belén

2.5 stars

I seem to be in the minority here, but I don't get this book. 

I think that when dealing with mental illness the best way to write a story is to be subtle, to imply things, you know the whole show don't tell thing. 

The First Time She Drowned is very well written, the prose is beautiful and the characters are also well constructed even if there isn't much character development. But the story is just too real for a novel, at times it seemed too dramatic, too exaggerated. There's no fictional element in this book, even in a contemporary story there has to be some kind of fictional aspect for the reader to tell the story apart from reality. 

Anyway, this isn't a bad book. It just fell flat for me.

Emily C Peterson

This book was one of those books where everything was just trying too hard. The writing was trying too hard to be lyrical. The character was trying too hard to be angsty. The mother was trying too hard to be the worst mother in history. The author was trying too hard to surprise you with a twist that, frankly, detracts so much from the book.

If you can't tell, I really disliked this book. Also, I do not recommend the audiobook at all, as the narrator sounds like she is talking through a head cold the entire time.

Tori Carrillo

Teeters on a 3.5 star. This is a good book. Really well written and just a story you wish wasn’t something that could really happen but is very real. You really get to sit with the main character in her experience and you do get to feel some of the confusion and push/pull she goes through which is really gripping and painful. Finished in a day, so it’ll definitely keep you wanting to know what happens next. I think i might’ve wanted some of the things to be fleshed out for the character a little more to get to the ending but it was also already heavy enough that maybe if that was the case, I would hate it. 🤷🏻‍♀️ Read both the paper copy and on audio. Preferred the paper copy but audio book was okay.

Lisa ✩ @lifeinlit

3.5 stars!

I was completely clueless going into The First Time She Drowned on what to expect. I hadn’t read the synopsis in a very long time, and had no idea what the story was about. But with a cover like that, I HAD to at least give it a try. After a few different bloggy friends told me they had enjoyed it, I decided it was definitely worth the read.

I loved the creepy, what-is-going-on feel of this story. I was so eager to find out why Cassie was in the mental institution, and even more eager to see how life would be after she was released when she turned 18. This story was told through alternating past and present chapters, which kept the story flowing beautifully, and kept me wanting more. Some of the characters were a bit tough to handle, causing my anger to skyrocket at different times, but it was part of the story so I understand why they were the way they were. Still frustrating, though.

Overall, I think this was a solid story with a gorgeous writing style. I loved the flow of Kerry Kletter’s words and how effortlessly the story seemed to come together. I also really enjoyed the atmosphere of the story, and the overall prose was beautiful. My only issues came from the characters themselves, and a bit of the content. I won’t go into that too much because of spoilers, but I tend to shy away from stories that involve certain things, and this is one of those instances. Not withstanding, this is a solid read that is sure to please the YA reader, especially those interested in books involving mental illnesses. Another great diverse book to add to our list!

(Thanks to Listening Library for the review copy!)

Find this review and others like it at Lost in Literature!

madie anne 

i was able to guess what had happened to cassie quite easily, but the story was still hauntingly heartbreaking.

The First Time She Drowned

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