Molly Wizenberg

From a bestselling memoirist, a thoughtful and provocative story of changing identity, complex sexuality, and enduring family relationships At age 36, while serving on a jury, author Molly Wizenberg found herself drawn to a female attorney she hardly knew. Married to a man for nearly a decade and mother to a toddler, Wizenberg tried to return to her life as she knew it, but something inside her had changed irredeemably. Instead, she would discover that the trajectory of our lives is rarely as smooth or as logical as we'd like to believe. Like many of us, Wizenberg had long understood sexual orientation as a stable part of ourselves: we're "born this way." Suddenly she realized that her story was more complicated. Who was she, she wondered, if something at her very core could change so radically? The Fixed Stars is a taut, electrifying memoir exploring timely and timeless questions about desire, identity, and the limits and possibilities of family. In honest and searing prose, Wizenberg forges a new path: through the murk of separation and divorce, coming out to family and friends, learning to co-parent a young child, and realizing a new vision of love. The result is a frank and moving story about letting go of rigid definitions and ideals that no longer fit, and learning instead who we really are.

The Fixed Stars

Jeannette Ordas

I was totally gripped by this book and sped right through it but I staggered with the last quarter. It was almost like maybe this was all too recent and maybe to spare feelings and because things weren't fully fleshed out, it felt like parts of the story (the later bits) were skimmed over and relied too heavily on research. Still, a fascinating and at times intimate take on identity, marriage, motherhood, sexuality and queerness.

Katie Chua

super interesting in the beginning, got kind of eh in the middle, ended on a note i found really touching? i'm trying to figure out what it was that fell short for me and I think it was the fact that i just sorta stopped caring .... great bibliography in the back tho for extra reading on sexuality/gender

A beautiful, thoughtful memoir that feels like reading letters from a close friend. I really enjoyed and loved this.

Paige Green

Disclaimer: I received this book from the publisher. Thanks! All opinions are my own.

Book: The Fixed Stars

Author: Molly Wizenberg

Book Series: Standalone

Rating: 3/5

Diversity: Lesbian side character love interest. MC is exploring their sexual identity.

Recommended For...: sexual exploration, memoirs

Publication Date: August 4, 2020

Genre: Autobiography

Recommended Age: 16+ (sexual content, divorce)

Publisher: Abrams Press

Pages: 256

Synopsis: At age 36, while serving on a jury, author Molly Wizenberg found herself drawn to a female attorney she hardly knew. Married to a man for nearly a decade and mother to a toddler, Wizenberg tried to return to her life as she knew it, but something inside her had changed irredeemably. Instead, she would discover that the trajectory of our lives is rarely as smooth or as logical as we’d like to believe.
 
Like many of us, Wizenberg had long understood sexual orientation as a stable part of ourselves: we’re “born this way.” Suddenly she realized that her story was more complicated. Who was she, she wondered, if something at her very core could change so radically? The Fixed Stars is a taut, electrifying memoir exploring timely and timeless questions about desire, identity, and the limits and possibilities of family. In honest and searing prose, Wizenberg forges a new path: through the murk of separation and divorce, coming out to family and friends, learning to co-parent a young child, and realizing a new vision of love. The result is a frank and moving story about letting go of rigid definitions and ideals that no longer fit, and learning instead who we really are.

Review: I really loved this memoir about the author’s exploration into her own sexuality and her lifestyle. It takes courage to explore after your 20s (I know from experience) and I really admire the author and her journey. The writing is the thing that I think tripped me up in this book. The author lists facts and quotes but doesn’t dig down to explain how they apply to her situation and what she thinks of them. The book comes alive when the author talks about her girlfriend, but other than that the book is a bit weird. It’s intimate, then not. It’s the book embodiment of hot and cold.

Verdict: It’s a great book if you’re the friend who sits and listens to their BFFs rant, but other than that I would like to see it fleshed out more.

Casie Blevins

Told in disjointed segments that read more like miniature essays, this memoir had heart. I wish that there had been more of a straight timeline rather than the back and forth of ministories. I know what she was trying to do--build a timeline for her sexuality and tie that in with life events but it made this book go all over the place and not in any cohesive way. It wasn't just the jumps in time but also the caution that she treated her subjects with. There was a sense that we never really got to know anybody else. And what we did know we got wrapped in couch cushions or looked at through plexiglass. There was some remove and it was softened. The writing however, was insightful, at times, sometimes devastatingly so. If I was an annotator I would have annotated the crap out of it. I think she has a singular perspective that would make wonderful essays out of her life but as a novel this just didn't work as well.

Darice de Cuba

The Fixed Stars is a memoir about a straight woman in a seemingly happy marriage, who later in life discovers she might no be that straight after meeting a lawyer during jury duty. 

Just like Glennon Doyle had the same epiphany in Untamed, Molly has in The Fixed Stars. But the life and experience of these two women are vastly different. Molly is "a head" person as she herself mentions in the book. She does research and reads books to help her figure out what's happening to her. Was she always gay? Did she just wake up gay one day? Her memoir is filled with notes and resources in the back.

She really digs deep on how her marriage happened, how it was, how the break down started, how she experienced her first lesbian relationship and how she figured out what and who she wants. She also struggled a lot on being a good mother and if choosing to be her true self is selfish to her daughter. 

I especially loved how she writes about her partner, Ash. They are non-binary and I always wondered about how non-binary people feel. Of course, it's not the same for everyone. But it was nice to have a small insight into Ash's path to figuring themself out and what works for them. 

(view spoiler)[
Same as Glennon, Molly comes to the conclusion (?) that some women just change preference later in life and don't subscribe to the born this way. Based on a study done by Lisa M. Diamond, which she wrote about in Sexual Fluidity: Understanding Women’s Love and Desire. LGBTQ activists are against this as they believe if we don't adhere to born this way, then (religious) people don't have a reason to accept LGBTQA people. Glennon got a lot of backlash for this chapter in her memoir.
 (hide spoiler)]

This is another memoir where the writer doesn't hold back and writes it all and writes it well. It's not a superficial throw away memoir.

Anna

From a bestselling memoirist, a thoughtful and provocative story of changing identity, complex sexuality, and enduring family relationships At age 36, while serving on a jury, author Molly Wizenberg found herself drawn to a female attorney she hardly knew. Married to a man for nearly a decade and mother to a toddler, Wizenberg tried to return to her life as she knew it, but something inside her had changed irrevocably. Instead, she would discover that the trajectory of our lives is rarely as smooth or as logical as we’d like to believe. Like many of us, Wizenberg had long understood sexual orientation as a stable part of ourselves: we’re “born this way.” Suddenly she realized that her story was more complicated. Who was she, she wondered, if something at her very core could change so radically? The Fixed Stars is a taut, electrifying memoir exploring timely and timeless questions about desire, identity, and the limits and possibilities of family. In honest and searing prose, Wizenberg forges a new path: through the murk of separation and divorce, coming out to family and friends, learning to co-parent a young child, and realizing a new vision of love. The result is a frank and moving story about letting go of rigid definitions and ideals that no longer fit, and learning instead who we really are.

Jessica Gardner

Sophia Sadoughi

iris 

Martha F.

Courtney

From a bestselling writer, an intense and moving memoir about changing identity, complex sexuality, and enduring family relationships--now in paperback At age 36, while serving on a jury, author Molly Wizenberg found herself drawn to a female attorney. Married to a man for nearly a decade and mother to a toddler, Wizenberg tried to return to her life as she knew it, but she felt that something inside her had changed irrevocably. Instead, she would discover that the trajectory of our lives is rarely as smooth or as logical as we'd like to believe. Like many of us, Wizenberg had long understood sexual orientation as a stable part of ourselves: we're "born this way." Suddenly she realized that her story was more complicated. Who was she, she wondered, if something at her very core could change so radically? The Fixed Stars is a taut, electrifying memoir exploring timely and timeless questions about desire, identity, and the limits and possibilities of family. In honest and searing prose, Wizenberg forges a new path: through the murk of separation and divorce, coming out to family and friends, learning to co-parent a young child, and realizing a new vision of love. The result is a frank and moving story about letting go of rigid definitions and ideals that no longer fit, and learning instead who we really are.

The Fixed Stars

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