Don Miguel Ruiz

Janet Mills

Bestselling author don Miguel Ruiz reveals the source of self-limiting beliefs that rob us of joy and create needless suffering. Based on ancient Toltec wisdom, The Four Agreements offer a powerful code of conduct that can rapidly transform our lives to a new experience of freedom, true happiness, and love. • A New York Times bestseller for over 7 years • Over 5.2 million copies sold in the U.S. • Translated into 38 languages worldwide Don Miguel Ruiz’s book is a roadmap to enlightenment and freedom.” — Deepak Chopra, Author, The Seven Spiritual Laws of Success “An inspiring book with many great lessons . . .” — Wayne Dyer, Author, Real Magic “In the tradition of Castaneda, Ruiz distills essential Toltec wisdom, expressing with clarity and impeccability what it means for men and women to live as peaceful warriors in the modern world.” — Dan Millman, Author, Way of the Peaceful Warrior

A Practical Guide to Personal Freedom

The Four Agreements

Miguel Ruiz

Identifies four self-limiting beliefs that impede one's experience of freedom, true happiness, and love.

Omar

No, I don't take it personally. Whatever you think, whatever you feel, I know is your problem and not my problem. It is the way you see the world. It is nothing personal, because you are dealing with yourself, not with me. Others are going to have their own opinion according to their belief system, so nothing they think about me is really about me, but it is about them.

if i could summarise the whole book in a sentence, that would be this one. 

nanafark

«When you do your best you learn to accept yourself. But you have to be aware and learn from your mistakes. Learning from your mistakes means you practice, look honestly at the results, and keep practicing. This increases your awareness.»

«And if you don't judge yourself there is no way you are going to suffer from guilt, blame, and self-punishment.»

«But if you do less than your best, you subject yourself to frustrations, self-judgment, guilt, and regrets.»

«Regardless of the quality, keep doing your best — no more and no less than your best. If you try too hard to do more than your best, you will spend more energy than is needed and in the end your best will not be enough. When you overdo, you deplete your body and go against yourself, and it will take you longer to accomplish your goal.»

«Everything is alive and changing all the time, so your best will sometimes be high quality, and other times it will not be as good.»

«Under any circumstance, always do your best, no more and no less. But keep in mind that your best is 

 going to be the same from one moment to the next.»

«If you do your best in the search for personal freedom, in the search for self-love, you will discover that it's just a matter of time before you find what you are looking for.»

even if you still make assumptions, still take things personally, and still are not impeccable with your word.»

«The first three agreements will only work if you 

. Don't expect that you will always be able to be impeccable with your word. Your routine habits are too strong and firmly rooted in your mind. But you can do your best.»

«Because we are afraid to ask for clarification, we make assumptions, and believe we are right about the assumptions; then we defend our assumptions and try to make someone else wrong. It is always better to 

 than to make an assumption, because assumptions set us up for suffering.»

«All the sadness and drama you have lived in your life was root in 

«That is why whenever we make assumptions, we're asking for problems.»

«The problem with making assumptions is that we 

«Your anger, jealousy, and envy will disappear, and even your sadness will simply disappear if you don't take things personally.»

because by taking things personally you set yourself up to suffer for nothing.»

«When you take things personally, then you feel offended, and your reaction is to defend your beliefs and create conflicts.»

«Being impeccable with your word is not using the word against yourself.»

Daya Montes

If others say one thing, but do another, you are lying to yourself if you don't listen to their actions. But if you are truthful with yourself, you will save yourself a lot of emotional pain. Telling yourself the truth about it may hurt, but you don't need to be attached to the pain. Healing is on the way, and it's just a matter of time before things will be better for you. If someone is not treating you with love and respect, it is a gift if they walk away from you.

Robin Collin

Simple concepts, but effective to implement (just hard work). 

Miguel has a gentle writing style, which makes the book easy to read. 

Raquel Rademeyer

Simple concepts, but effective to implement (just hard work). 

Miguel has a gentle writing style, which makes the book easy to read. 

Yasmina Paniagua

Ruiz offers four neat rules for a better life—be impeccable with your word, don’t take things personally, don’t make assumptions, and always do your best. Sounds great in theory. In reality? It felt like spiritual gaslighting with a sprinkle of victim-blaming.

The book asked me to revisit childhood wounds and call them “agreements” I made with the world. Sorry, but I didn’t agree to be bullied, misunderstood, or grow up with PCOS. I was just trying to survive middle school.

While there’s some wisdom buried in here, it oversimplifies trauma and expects healing to happen through self-awareness alone. Ideal for the already-enlightened; maddening for the emotionally scorched.

Would rather burn it than re-read it—but hey, at least I always do my best.

Liana

Ruiz offers four neat rules for a better life—be impeccable with your word, don’t take things personally, don’t make assumptions, and always do your best. Sounds great in theory. In reality? It felt like spiritual gaslighting with a sprinkle of victim-blaming.

The book asked me to revisit childhood wounds and call them “agreements” I made with the world. Sorry, but I didn’t agree to be bullied, misunderstood, or grow up with PCOS. I was just trying to survive middle school.

While there’s some wisdom buried in here, it oversimplifies trauma and expects healing to happen through self-awareness alone. Ideal for the already-enlightened; maddening for the emotionally scorched.

Would rather burn it than re-read it—but hey, at least I always do my best.



four agreements.

Elyse 

gained insight on not taking anything too personally. book was repetitive at certain parts and started to get kinda preachy. also learned a bit about the toltecs

chloe

The Four Agreements, " now printed in Spanish, promotes a powerful code of conduct based on ancient Toltec wisdom. Two-color throughout.

Una Guia Practica para la Libertad Personal

Los Cuatro Acuerdos

Paoovi

Un libro que propicia la introspección de una forma en la que sutilmente va dejando aprendizajes en cuanto a la relación con los otros. Lo he leído más de tres veces en distintas etapas de mi vida e incluso escuchado en audiolibro antes de dormir y es sanador.

Kevin Wammer

A very short book, so a very short review: It's a good book, nothing groundbreakingly new, but well presented. I had never heard of the Toltecs before, and I'd like to dig deeper into this culture.

Corey’s Books

The Four Agreements

be impeccable with your word

don’t take anything personally

don’t make assumptions

always do your best

Chris Farrell 

This book was a little hard to get into at first, because, it requires a bit of perspective change too really understand what he is driving at. Once I did that, the book had a lot to say in such a few number of pages. I will be contemplating it long after I finished read it.

Molly Bridge

Banyak hal yang aku dapat dari buku ini. Tulisan yang membuatku nyaman, opini penulis disampaikan dengan kata-kata yang menyentuh hati. Apa yang dibahas di semua bab buku ini benar-benar berhubungan dengan kehidupanku saat ini. Buku ini seperti memberiku penyemangat baru dalam keputusasaan hidup.

Hannah Yoon

This was a super helpful read for someone looking to grow as a person. I didn't like the writing style and felt some ideas were too simplified. It's not as low as a 3 but not a 4 either. I like the premise of the book and what the four agreements entail. Sometimes it felt too new-agey for me but I recognize it helps others.

The Myth Echo

My dad wanted me to read this back in 6th grade (I was beginning to think for myself and all that, and he wanted me to think right), but honestly, I got nothing out of this book except hatred. It over explained things that I (An 11 year old at the time) didn't understand nor need. This is definitely more conservative, and at yk 11 years old, I did not understand why it was SO heavy on that (I was barely in 6th grade, I knew nothing abt politics). Maybe if I re-read this now, I might find it more enjoyable (Or at least less boring, as I literally sat down and MADE myself read the entire thing in 1 day), but from what I remember, it just didn't work well.

Meagan Fischer 

Absolutely terrible book. Nonsensical, inconsistent, does not define terms in any practical way. Someone on here named Holly gave an excellent breakdown of why this book is so incredibly stupid, starting with the fact that this author is NOT "impeccable with his word" despite telling others they should be. I will try to link that review later as it reflects most of my criticisms and this book isn't worth me re-typing them up.

Mia Caven

A very simply put book that encapsulates what all the books about the same thing have been trying to say in the least insensitive way (but arguable at some points)

The first third of this book made me really reflecting on myself and my life. I felt intrigued and motivated, especially reading “be impeccable with your word”. After this, the advice started to sound more generic and I was not as invested in the read. Either way, it was a quick and easy read and had offerings that I hope to carry along with me forever. 

Sarah Panek

Asher Black

Earthshaking book. Distills in a book you can read in one standing a lifetime of possibility.

The four principles that are great to stick by. Short read and definitely a re-read! 

Haley Kirinsky 

This book showed how, what seems like four simple principles, can have a significant ripple effect, if practiced. From transforming the way we view our interactions to the way we view ourselves. 

A few highlights:

“What does it mean to be impeccable with your word? "Impeccable" means "without sin”. Everything you feel or believe or say that goes against yourself is a sin. Being impeccable is not going against yourself.”

"When we believe something, we assume we are right about it to the point that we will destroy relationships in order to defend our position. We make the assumption that everyone sees life the way we do. We assume that others think the way we think, feel the way we feel, judge the way we judge… And this is why we have a fear of being ourselves around others. Because we think everyone else will judge us, victimise us, and blame us as we do ourselves. So even before others have a chance to reject us, we have already rejected ourselves. That is the way the human mind works."

Kota Smith

Sorta repetitive at certain points however I really enjoyed the message within this book. It is an empowering read that looks to direct you towards transcending to a better place in your life and outline 4 steps to achieve that. I think this book did a great job of breaking down each principle in a way any reader could understand. I do think that this could have been a slightly shorter book tho and could have avoided some topics being repeated and beat down so much.

Meghan Navoy

I know a lot of people love this book but I thought it was just ok. it's really short but took me forever to read it because I wasn't that into it.

i found this book very mind opening. easy to read and understand. clear and simple. 

i agree with it and my overall conclusion is that if we do what it suggests we will all become better and much happier people. 

P.S.: the ⭐️ is missing because of the whole “magician, spell, judge” kind of vibe. it felt dark.

i found this book very mind opening. easy to read and understand. clear and simple. 

i agree with it and my overall conclusion is that if we do what it suggests we will all become better and much happier people. 

P.S.: the ⭐️ is missing because of the whole “magician, spell, judge” kind of vibe. it felt dark.

Ivy X

I feel like I'm reading a sermon haha 
Didn't agree with some points but overall very enlightening/positive.

One part I didn't like was when Ruiz wrote that when people say that you hurt their feelings, you didn't hurt their feelings because "they are hurting themselves." I feel like this is just a way for people to escape accountability. People should still be held accountable for making people feel less than (even if it is mainly a reflection of the other person's personal insecurities and pains). Otherwise, you would just be a shitty person because you choose to be apathetic and unaccountable for the impact your actions/words can have. -- you can choose to continue to not take certain critiques personally but some things have more to do with moral character than finding enlightenment in this way. At some points these kind of viewpoints blur the lines between "being honest/blunt" and "being mean." 

Quotes: 
- True injustice is paying more than once for each mistake. 

- The human is the only animal on earth that pays a thousand times for the same mistake. The rest of the animals pay once for every mistake they make. But not us. We have a powerful memory. We make a mistake, we judge ourselves, we find ourselves guilty, and we punish ourselves. If justice exists then that was enough; we don't need to do it again. If we have a wife or husband he or she also reminds us of the mistake, so we can judge ourselves again, punish ourselves again, and find ourselves guilty again? Is that fair? 

- Every time we remember the mistake, we blame them again and send them all the emotional poison we feel at the injustice, and then we make them pay again for the same mistake. Is that justice? 

-The personal dream of humans will vary, but globally it is mostly a nightmare. If we look at human society we see a place so difficult to live in because it is ruled by fear. Throughout the world we see human suffering, anger, revenge, addictions, violence in the street, and tremendous injustice. It may exist at different levels in different countries around the world, but fear is controlling the outside dream. 

-No human can condemn another to hell because we are already there. 

-Our personal dream can also become an ongoing nightmare where we suffer and live in a state of fear. But we don't need to dream a nightmare. It is possible to enjoy a pleasant dream. 

-That is why humans resist life. To be alive is the biggest fear humans have. Death is not the biggest fear we have; our biggest fear is taking the risk to be alive -- the risk to be alive and express what we really are. Just being ourselves is the biggest fear of humans. We have learned to live our lives trying to satisfy other people's demands. We have learned to live by other people's points of view because of the fear of not being accepted and of not being good enough for someone else. 

-In your whole life nobody has ever abused you more than you have abused yourself. And the limit of your self-abuse is exactly the limit that you will tolerate from someone else. If someone abuses you a little more than you abuse yourself, you will probably walk away from that person. But if someone abuses you a little less than you abuse yourself, you will probably stay in the relationship and tolerate it endlessly. 

-One fear or doubt planted in our mind can create an endless drama of events. 

-People who love us do black magic on us, but they don't know what they do. That is why we must forgive them; they don't know what they do. 

-No, I don't take it personally. Whatever you think, whatever you feel, I know is your problem and not my problem. It is the way you see the world. It is nothing personal, because you are dealing with yourself, not with me. Others are going to have their own opinion according to their belief system, so nothing they think about me is really about me, but it is about them. 
 I have thoughts about this section. I like this because it reminds us that we don't know what the other person is thinking -- but this can be misinterpreted to mean that you can just not care how other people feel in these dialogues lol 

-If someone is not treating you with love and respect, it is a gift if they walk away from you. 

- Making assumptions in our relationships is really asking for problems. Often we make the assumption that our partners know what we think and that we don't have to say what we want. We assume they are going to do what we want, because they know us so well. If they don't do what we assume they should do, we feel so hurt and say, "You should have known." 

-When we believe something, we assume we are right about it to the point that we will destroy relationships in order to defend our position. 
 We make the assumption that everyone sees life the way we do. We assume that others think the way we think, feel the way we feel, judge the way we judge, and abuse the way we abuse. This is the biggest assumption that humans make. And this is why we have a fear of being ourselves around others. Because we think everyone else will judge us, victimize us, abuse us, and blame us as we do ourselves. 

-Doing your best is taking the action because you love it, not because you're expecting a reward. 

-They have two days to rest, to do what they want to do, and what do they do? They try to escape. They get drunk because they don't like themselves. They don't like their life. There are many ways that we hurt ourselves when we don't like who we are. 
 On the other hand, if you take action just for the sake of doing it, without expecting a reward, you will find that you enjoy every action you do. Rewards will come, but you are not attached to the reward. You can even get more than you would have imagined for yourself without expecting a reward. If we like what we do, if we always do our best, then we are really enjoying life.

-Action is about living fully. Inaction is the way that we deny life. Inaction is sitting in front of the television every day for years because you are afraid to be alive and to take the risk of expressing what you are. Expressing what you are is taking action. You can have many great ideas in your head, but what makes the difference is the action. Without action upon an idea, there will be no manifestation, no results, and no rewards. 

- Forgiveness is the only way to heal. We can choose to forgive because we feel compassion for ourselves. We can let go of the resentment and declare, "That's enough! I will no longer be the big Judge that goes against myself. I will no longer beat myself up and abuse myself. I will no longer be the Victim." 

- You will know you have forgiven someone when you see them and you no longer have an emotional reaction. You will hear the name of the person and you will have no emotional reaction. When someone can touch what used to be a wound and it no longer hurts you, then you know you have truly forgiven. 

-Happiness is a choice, and so is suffering. 
Maybe we cannot escape from the destiny of the human, but we have a choice: to suffer our destiny or to enjoy our destiny. To suffer, or to love and be happy. To live in hell, or to live in heaven. My choice is to live in heaven.

Sierra Nguyen

(+) This book presents some interesting ideas about how to live a life knowing yourself and others better.

It is a wake up call (only if you don't go back to sleep) to stop using words to hurt yourself and others, to not take anything personally, to stop making assumptions and getting hurt, and to always try your best.

(-) Although it is a short book, I think it could have been even more precise in the form of a long essay because there are parts in the book where ideas are repeated like a loop and simple, small concepts are being explained too carefully, which might be a little tired to read. 

For personal preference, this book is heavily spiritual and religious, which is not really what I was looking for. There is a lack of outside sources (from research, studies, experiments, etc.) to back up the claims as the author tries to give advice for how to fulfill your life. 
However, some may argue that the book itself is already a source because it's about the way of life of the Toltec, and the author is just simply sharing his beliefs and what he's learned from this community.

The Four Agreements A Practical Guide to Personal Freedom

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