Rachel Van Dyken

Gabe Hyde is on borrowed time. Keeping his identity a secret isn't all it's cracked up to be, especially when he meets Saylor. A girl who reminds him of one he used to love--a girl who has the power to break down every wall he's ever built.

Toxic

Lacey

Originally posted at Booklovers For Life

Oh. My. Goodness! This book was NOTHING like I expected it to be. Toxic was unique and captivated my heart. I had been so excited for Gabe to get his own book. I fell for him and his sarcastic, cocky, playboy, but-still-a-good-guy-at-heart ways. I thought Gabe’s story would be at least funny, because he’s absolutely hilarious in Ruin. And was it funny? At times, yes… but be sure to have something to pick up the pieces of your broken heart while reading this book.

Gabe made me want to cry so much. I knew there was so much more to this playboy than what he only showed in Ruin, but I never expected the extent of the depth and complexity of this particular character. He has a dark and tragic past that he’s still living in–he can’t ever move past it, and he doesn’t feel he deserves to anyway. He’s in his own hell, though you’d never guess it from his interactions with his best friends. Wes and Kiersten know nothing about who Gabe truly is, and Gabe wants to keep it that way.

I wondered if there would ever come a day when Gabe would finally be free enough to be himself – the person he was born to be, not the mask number one or the mask number two. I wondered if he even knew how lost he really was – or if he was happy making the maze his home, the mask his identity, his life a lie. –Saylor

When Gabe meets Saylor, it’s not pretty. He’s actually very, very rude to her, so much so that I was a bit confused. I couldn’t believe how terribly Gabe was acting towards Saylor, a girl whom he’d never met before and who’d never done anything to him. But as his past opens up and his demons come back to haunt him, we see how Gabe is slowly unraveling, just like the facade he’s been living. It’s no excuse for how Gabe treats Saylor, but we understand his actions better now.

The facade Gabe has been living for four years is breaking apart, and yet he can’t show his true self to anyone… excerpt maybe Saylor. Saylor, who is beautiful and feisty, but innocent. She’s a gifted musician, just as we learn Gabe is, and they connect through their piano playing. Saylor can feel Gabe’s pain through his music, even though she hates him when they first meet. Saylor wasn’t someone I expected for Gabe–she’s not all that interesting, but I could connect with her. She’s headstrong and dedicated to making the good grades to get a job support her family. And she’s the only one who can truly see who Gabe is.

Gabe tries to keep everyone, most of all Saylor, away from discovering his past, but everywhere he turns, she’s there. Saylor has somehow become involved in his life, and try as he might to stay away from her, he can’t. Saylor worms her way unintentionally into Gabe’s life, and she slowly breaks through Gabe’s defenses. Gabe has been spiraling down into the darkness, but Saylor helps pull him out of it. And Saylor isn’t the only one willing to save Gabe–Wes, Kiersten, and Lisa are all there to support Gabe. It was so touching to see all of them be there for Gabe–my heart was nearly bursting from the love I felt from everyone for Gabe.

And Saylor also eventually falls for this tragic, beautiful, tattooed boy. Their growing relationship is beautiful and moving and so heartfelt. She doesn’t save Gabe, but helps him on his path towards healing and redemption. She’s there all the way for Gabe, and with her, Gabe can just be Gabe–he doesn’t have to keep up his exhausting facade with her.

Slowly, I raised my head to look at her. “When I look… I see you. Beyond the music, beyond your smile, your touch, your laugh.” My voice caught. “I see you.”
“I see you too.”

It’s hard for Gabe to love Saylor, but we see him falling anyway. It’s a beautiful book from start to finish, and I wish there were more. I fell in love with the writing, and Gabe and Saylor have both invaded my heart and will probably stay there forever. Toxic is not a book you can easily forget. It’s at times difficult to read, because of all the pain Gabe holds in his heart, but it’s a book I highly recommend.

Quotes are taken from the ARC and are subject to change in the final version.

Thanks to the author for generously providing me an ARC to review.

Liked this review? Subscribe to Booklovers For Life for more!

Toxic

Reviews