Name: Weird things customer say in bookshops
ISBN: 9781780334837

A John Cleese Twitter question ("What is your pet peeve?"), first sparked the "Weird Things Customers Say in Bookshops" blog, which grew over three years into one bookseller's collection of ridiculous conversations on the shop floor. 

From "Did Beatrix Potter ever write a book about dinosaurs?" to the hunt for a paperback which could forecast the next year's weather; and from "I've forgotten my glasses, please read me the first chapter" to "Excuse me... is this book edible?", here is a book for heroic booksellers and booklovers everywhere.

This full-length collection illustrated by the Brothers McLeod also includes top "Weird Things" from bookshops around the world.

Weird things customer say in bookshops

Melissa Palmer

Book #71 Read in 2012
Weird Things Customers Say in Bookstores by Jen Campbell

This is a very quick read--it is a collection of questions/comments that customers have been heard saying in bookstores. Bookstore workers and owners submitted these questions and comments. Some are funny, some are weird and some are downright sad (one customer asked for a copy of the sequel to The Diary of Anne Frank because she enjoyed Anne's writing. . . sigh). This book was generated by the author's blog, where these sayings were first collected and publicized. A cute read that book lovers will get a kick out of--a nice way to spend an afternoon. I enjoyed it.

http://melissasbookpicks.blogspot.com

Maggie Gordon

Weird Things Customers Say in Bookshops is a short and funny book about some of the more humorous and absurd things booksellers have heard from the people who come into their shops. Illustrated with cute little comics throughout, this was an enjoyable and easy read that reminded me of some of the more inane moments of working retail.

Bea R.

“CUSTOMER: Hi, if I buy a book, read it, and bring it back, can I exchange it for another book?
BOOKSELLER: No . . . because then we wouldn’t make any money.
CUSTOMER: Oh.”

Hilariously cute

Ingrid 

This was a witty book that I think a lot of people will enjoy. It's funny and I think non-bookish people could also get something out off it. I do wish it was a bit longer and I feel like it didn't reach its potential.

Sarah Escorsa

“CUSTOMER (to her friend): What’s this literary criticism section? Is it for books that complain about other books?”



Puny humans can be so unintentionally funny sometimes. And cluelessly hopelessly hilarious. Or is it hilariously clueless hopeless? Not sure, really. Probably the latest, come to think of it. Bloody shrimping hell, am I glad I live among Cultured Little Barnacles (CLB™), not with the Uneducated as Shrimp Masses (UaSM™)! What? You think that this Despicable Display of Intellectual Snobbery (DDoIS™) is in poor taste? Yeah, well, you obviously haven't read this book. So come back when you have, and let me know how your Inner Homicidal Intellectual Maniac (IHIM™) is faring, will you? And in the meantime, check this out and stuff:

“CUSTOMER: Hi, I just wanted to ask: did Anne Frank ever write a sequel?
BOOKSELLER: ........
CUSTOMER: I really enjoyed her first book.
BOOKSELLER: Her diary?
CUSTOMER: Yes, the diary.
BOOKSELLER: Her diary wasn’t fictional.
CUSTOMER: Really?
BOOKSELLER: Yes... She really dies at the end – that’s why the diary finishes. She was taken to a concentration camp.
CUSTOMER: Oh... that’s terrible.
BOOKSELLER: Yes, it was awful.
CUSTOMER: I mean, it’s such a shame, you know? She was such a good writer.”



And how about this one:

“CUSTOMER: Do you have that Enid Blyton series? Not the Secret Seven – the other one.
BOOKSELLER: The Five Find Outers? The Famous Five?
CUSTOMER: Yes, The Famous Five, that’s the one. The one with the transsexual.”



And that one:

“BOOKSELLER: Hi there, how can I help?
CUSTOMER: Could you please explain Kindle to me.
BOOKSELLER: Sure. It’s an e-reader, which means you download books and read them on a small hand-held computer.
CUSTOMER: Oh OK, I see. So . . . this Kindle. Are the books on that paperback or hardback?”



Oh, oh, and how about this one:

“CUSTOMER: Do you have a copy of Bela Swan’s favourite book? You know, from Twilight?
(Bookseller sighs and pulls a copy of Wuthering Heights off the shelf)
CUSTOMER: Do you have the one with the cover that looks like Twilight?
BOOKSELLER: No. This is an antiquarian bookshop, so this is an old edition of the book.
CUSTOMER: But it’s still the one with that girl Cathy and the dangerous guy, right?
BOOKSELLER: Yes, it’s still the story by Emily Bronte.
CUSTOMER: Right. Do you think they’ll make it into a film?
BOOKSELLER: They’ve made several films of it. The one where Ralph Fiennes plays Heathcliff is very good.
CUSTOMER: What? Voldemort plays Heathcliff?
BOOKSELLER: Well. . .
CUSTOMER: But that’s Edward’s role.
BOOKSELLER: Wuthering Heights was written well before both Harry Potter and Twilight.
CUSTOMER: Yeah, but Voldemort killed Cedric, who’s played by Robert Pattinson, and now Voldemort’s playing Edward’s role in Wuthering Heights, because Edward’s character is Heathcliff. I think that Emily Bronte’s trying to say something about vampires.
BOOKSELLER: . . . that’s £8.
CUSTOMER: For what?
BOOKSELLER: For the book.
CUSTOMER: Oh, no, it’s OK, I’m going to go and try and find the Voldemort DVD version.”



So, tell me, how's your Inner Homicidal Intellectual Maniac (IHIM™) doing right now? Yeah, thought so. I rest in my case and stuff.

(view spoiler)[Here's a bonus quote for you. Totally free of charge because I'm feeling revoltingly magnanimous today.

CUSTOMER: Do you have this children’s book I’ve heard about? It’s supposed to be very good. It’s called ‘Lionel Richie and the Wardrobe.’.

You are quite welcome. (hide spoiler)]

Flavia Louise

This is not a book I would usually rate. But it was really funny.

Camila 

Oh Dios! Le recomiendo este libro a todo aquel que se quiera reir un rato.
No demoré nada en leerlo y la pasé genial

Olivera Mitić

Considering that I had already been familiar with the funniest things from here (thanks to Goodreads reviews), I didn't really see anything else that made it interesting.

Danni’s Badass Books

⭐ 5 Stars ⭐

This book was so much fun to read!

Some of the scenarios were hilarious but also ridiculous at the same time. XD Honestly, I don't know what was going through some of those people's heads during these convos.

It's worth a read if you want something funny and short to read, it won't disappoint.

Shawna Gavas

A very short, but entertaining read. Although I didn't quite get all the humour, I could certainly appreciate the random and bizarre questions and comments put forth by customers being in retail myself. I have been in the position of the "bookseller" with the "....." response. What do you say to these people? I mean really??? But they are out there....on a daily basis. I only wish I had thought of writing a book on this subject myself! lol

Sophie Elaina 

What an hilarious collection of tidbits. Honestly I cannot fathom what must be going on in some peoples minds. 😂😳

Definitely give this a read if you want a pick-me-up, you won’t regret it!

hossein moazzeni

شبیه خیلی از مواردی که تو این کتاب بود داستانش ، تو واقعیت و در برخورد با مشتری برای خودم هم اتفاق افتادن !
و جالب بود.
با بعضی از دیالوگ هاش به شکل جدی خندیدم !

Luisina Rivoira

*4.5 stars* it was a hilarious, quick and wonderful read! I highly recommend that everyone picks it up!

Elize van Heerden

I am so happy I stumbled across this book after hearing about it on YouTube. I found it hilarious and the stories were funny

everlinet

Literally so funny I almost died laughing. Made my day 100% better.

Nia C

From Death In Denial to Lionel Richie and The Wardrobe, this book is full of funny things stupid people say. Definitely read it if you want a laugh or just to cringe at the abject stupidity of people around the globe and pity the booksellers who've had to deal with them.

4 stars an an A.

Gabriela Roxana 

Roos Kuijper 

Als boekverkoper moet je dit boek gewoon lezen, en het is veel te herkenbaar! En hilarisch ;)

Weird things customer say in bookshops

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