What a Dragon Should Know

💀 DNF at 60%. Shock! Dismay! Outrage! Discombobulation! This book is naught but Bloody Boring Blah Blah Blah (B⁵) and unlikable as fish characters!! What the bloody stinking squid happened to the humor in this series, that's what I want to know! Dragon Actually was hilarious as shrimp but this one? Ugh and meh and blah and bleh (yes, I know, I'm a poet). Not only was it NOT funny at all, it was also NOT deliciously OTT as fish. And that is quite unacceptable, if you ask me. Because the only thing that can make a series like this one somewhat bearable, moderately survivable and not kill-it-with-fire material, is its ridiculously ridiculous outrageousness. So turn it into a way-too-serious-for-its-own-good story, and what you get is a clichéd as fish, dull, trite Extra-Strength Boredom Extravaganza (ESBE™). It would have been bad enough if the author had focused only on the two Super Extra Uninteresting MCs (SEUMC™) I didn't give a fish about, but, to make things worse, she decided to dilute the shrimp out of her her yawn-worthy story by writing endless digressions about every single bloody dragon in the series. How tremendously exciting indeed. And to make worse things even worse, there are no Wondrously Slaughterous Shenanigans (WSS™) in this story! And, more scandalous still, not a single batshit crazy character on the premises! Which, considering that my girlfriend Annwyl the Bloody is part of the cast, is slightly very quite disgraceful and stuff. ESPECIALLY when you know what an ever-sobbing, pathetic, powerless wimp Aitken dared turn her into here. My scrumptiously unbalanced, bloodthirsty girlfriend, a pitiful, whining weakling? I. THINK. NOT. ➽ Nefarious Last Words (NLW™): done done done with this crap series I am indeed. (“Thank thee kindly,” says my ever-grateful TBR shelf!) Also, this book is 384 pages long. That's 380 pages too bloody many, if you ask me. · Book 1: Dragon Actually ★★★★ · Book 2: About a Dragon ★★★