Alexandra Ballard

When sixteen-year-old Elizabeth is sent to the Wallingfield Psychiatric Facility's Residential Treatment Center, she encounters girls whose problems seem much greater than her own anorexia.

What I Lost

A searing yet ultimately uplifting young adult novel about a teenage girl's recovery from anorexia What sixteen-year-old Elizabeth has lost so far: forty pounds, four jean sizes, a boyfriend, and her peace of mind. As a result, she’s finally a size zero. She’s also the newest resident at Wallingfield, a treatment center for girls like her—girls with eating disorders. Elizabeth is determined to endure the program so she can go back home, where she plans to start restricting her food intake again. She’s pretty sure her mom, who has her own size-zero obsession, needs treatment as much as she does. Maybe even more. Then Elizabeth begins receiving mysterious packages. Are they from her ex-boyfriend, a secret admirer, or someone playing a cruel trick? What I Lost is an eloquent debut novel by Alexandra Ballard that rings with authenticity as it follows Elizabeth’s journey to taking an active role in her eating disorder recovery, hoping to get back all that she lost. Praise for What I Lost: “Readers will root for the novel’s likable main character and gain some understanding of the complexity of her illness at the same time.” —Kirkus Reviews “Through Elizabeth’s painful uphill battle, newcomer Ballard skillfully illustrates that although unhealthy eating habits may start as a choice, an eating disorder is a complicated illness that cannot be battled without support and vigilance.” —Publishers Weekly

Livia

Whew that was a ride

It was a little bit hard to read because her parents are the type that would think what they're doing is always right without asking first, and the fact that her mom keeps pushing her to lose weight (the fact that I can relate) is so frustratingly sad to read. Reading this also made me a bit self-conscious because dealing with parents with expectations and self-judgment is something I went through every day and it was scary that the thing Elizabeth went through, it could happen to me if I lose it.

There are some things I'm really frustrated about and how Elizabeth sometimes doesn't speak up at all when needed but speaks too much when not needed annoyed me to hell. I don't know how accurate the representation is, but it felt right and painful.

courtney garrison

** spoiler alert **
           Trigger Warning - Eating Disorder and Self harm
I was sure what to expect with this novel. I had watched Emma books review on it and was very curious about it. I was blown away by the book. I does remind me of to the bone on Netflix, but a little different. The book does revolve around an eating disorder, so if that is something you are not comfortable reading about I would skip this book. I really enjoyed this novel and how it opened your eyes to what people with eating disorders go through and their treatment process to overcome it.

The story revolves around 16-year-old Elizabeth, who is struggling with an eating disorder. She constantly counts calories and restricts her intake of food, so that she will stay a size 0. She has body image issues and her parents send her to Wallingfield to get the help she needs. You see Elizabeth struggle with eating and her recovery. You watch her struggle to overcome her disorder and try to get to a healthier lifestyle.

One thing I did like in this book was the relationship with the mom. While Elizabeth was recovering she came to the same conclusion that her mom needed help also has she was restricting her dieting and not eating. To me, it seemed that while Elizabeth was getting help and recognizing that what she was doing was not good, she also realized that her mom was doing the same thing. Towards the end of the book, they became cheerleaders for each other.

Overall this book did open me up to what someone with an eating disorder has gone through or is going through now. I can’t even begin to imagine how hard it is for them. It has definitely opened my eyes and started a healthy discussion in my family and how nagging on the way someone looks or if they are too fat is not good for their mental health. I really recommend this book to everyone as it is a truly is a wonderful book and lets you see something from someone else’s point of view.

Insiya Ghadiali

What I Lost - Alexandra Ballard
*Content warning for eating disorders*
I seriously loved this book so so much.This read was wholeheartedly honest, informational, authentic, raw, and powerful. This is one of those books you keep thinking about even after it is over. One of my favorite parts of the novel is how much medical and accurate information about eating disorders is incorporated naturally into this book. The first sentence mentions lanugo, there's talk of osteopenia/osteoperosis, mitral valve prolapse, amenorrhea, orthostatic hypotension, current gene research for EDs. As someone who doesn't understand what EDs are it was very helpful and insightful. Really loved this book!!

Tiffany Engler

Trigger warning for eating disorders.

I've seen so many people raving about this book. Many people say this is one of the best representations of anorexia. I am 100% standing by them with stating that. I personally do not suffer from an eating disorder, but other people have and read this book and said it was great representation. I'm not going to pretend I know what I'm talking about, so I will not give my opinion on the representation. 

What I Lost follows Elizabeth, a junior in high school who suffers from anorexia. She gets sent to an inpatient treatment center called Wallingfield where girls with eating disorders go to get better. You see the struggles Elizabeth and the other girls go through on their journey to recovery. 

I personally didn't have a connection with this novel. The only connection I was close to having was with Tristan. I've never had an eating disorder so I have no understanding what's going on through these girl's heads. It was really educational to see how someone with anorexia really thinks and acts though. 

I really liked that this book was realistic. I could see all of these things happening in real life. Even when it came to Heather posting about them on social media. It's crazy what kids go through with school and other kids at school. I wish it would have discussed more on how she coped with going back to school and into an environment she wasn't necessarily comfortable in. 

I loved seeing her improvement through the book. I felt like a happy parent every time she ate or even discussed how she was feeling. 

I recommend this book to anyone who thinks an eating disorder is nothing and is something that can easily get over. I recommend this to people who have anorexia and want to get better. I feel like this book could really help with encouraging people. Just don't read it if you get triggered easily.

Hannah

Erika Strickland 

So, it took me about two hours to finish this book. I was hooked. 

Trigger warning: Eating Disorders 
As someone who’s struggled with body image and restricted eating/disorder eating, this is the first book I’ve read that actually made me feel like it was accurately represented. Elizabeth is a character i related to a lot and i enjoyed the story line of her thoughts and how she coped with everything.

I loved the different supporting characters the author included and how they weren’t just put in the background just to fill in space.

Overall, i loved this book and thoroughly recommend it!