Name: Written in Red
Rating: 4.533333333333333 (15 reviews)
ISBN: 9780451417909

Anne Bishop

Blood prophet Meg Corbyn, who can see the future when her skin is cut, escapes enslavement by her Controller and teams up with shape-shifter Simon Wolfgard, who employs her as a Human Liaison.

Written in Red

Best thing I’ve read in ages. Couldn’t put it down. I was only 2 chapters in and purchased the entire series that’s how good it was. 

Becky

Vilde

I utterly, utterly loved reading this book. It was so good in every aspect, the characters, the relationships between the characters, the world, the story.

Sarah Escorsa

☠️ Let's Kill UF Tropes Deadly Dead Buddy Reread (LKUFTDDBR™) with the MacHalos and stuff ☠️

Previous rating: 3.6658974566972 stars. (I was obviously ridiculously young and despicably clueless when I first read this book.)
New rating: 4.5 stars. (Seen the light I have. Go me and stuff.)

➽ And the moral of this reread is: I really need to have a chat with Simon and ask him if he'd let my happy little murderous crustaceans family move into the Lakeside Courtyard. I'm pretty sure he'd accept, too. We do share the same philosophy about puny humans meat, after all. 



Dinner is served!

P.S. I want to be Tess when I grow up. Mostly because of her hair. And also because spoiler spoiler spoiler.

👋 To be continued and stuff.

· Book 2: Murder of Crows ★★★★
· Book 3: Vision in Silver ★★★★
· Book 4: Marked in Flesh ★★★★
· Book 5: Etched in Bone ★★★★



[August 2019]

Actual rating: 3.6658974566972 stars. 

So. This was Surprisingly Very Slightly Enjoyable (SVSE™). Very Slightly, yes. But mostly Very Surprisingly². Why? Because a) I was so sure it would go straight to my most beloved DNF Graveyard that I shamelessly abandoned it in the treacherous, unfathomable depths of my Kindle for five bloody shrimping years and b) it turns out it does have everything a crappy book needs to warrant my killing it with fire. Only that I didn’t.



I know, right?

Okay, you’re probably busy trying to recover from this shockingly shocking piece of news right now, so I think I shall pass the time by listing all the reasons why I should have DNFed the fish out of this book, but didn’t (view spoiler)[ 



Now now, my Little Barnacles, this is overdoing it. Do try to get a hold of your little selves before your little barnacled hearts fail and stuff. Thank thee kindly. (hide spoiler)]:

① This book is not exactly what you would call a thrilling, gripping, action-packed page turner. 80% of the non-action is actually pretty boring, to be disgustingly honest. I mean, it mostly consists of the MC’s (a chick called Mary-Sue Meg) fascinating daily routine. Which mostly consists in collecting mail. And then delivering mail. With the help of a bunch of ponies who love munching on carrots. (And on sugar lumps. But only once a week. Because it’s a Super Special Treat and stuff.) It’s fascinating, I tell you!

② The leads are bland as fish and have as much chemistry as an aging couple of lethargic jellyfish.

③ The plot is as thin as a starved dinoflagellate. And there are holes in it that are deeper than my beloved Mariana Trench. Not to mention the stuff in the story that doesn’t make any bloody shrimping sense. And the stuff that makes you go Hmmmm… Like the Others (the different pets species who rule over the Monkeys—aka puny humans—of this world) seeing ALL Monkeys as tasty snacks, and hating ALL of them, except for our very human Mary-Sue Meg. Why do they not hate her, you ask? And go out of their way to protect her from The Bad Bad People? Because she delivers their mail, you silly! That makes her Super Extra Special (SES™), you see. (Not as Super Extra Special as the sugar lumps the ponies get on Moonsdays, though.) And therefore Super Extra Lovable (SEL™) and stuff, and not a human of the Tasty Snack Variety (TSV™). 



Couldn’t agree with you more, Spockie Dear. 

④ The multiple POVs add absolutely fishing nothing to the story. End of spectacularly brilliant demonstration.

⑤ One of the characters happens to be the stupidest, most clichéd treacherous bitch in the history of stupidest, most clichéd treacherous bitches. Quite a feat, that.

Sorry, what? You think all of this ↑↑ is consistent with a 1.565789478-star rating, not a 3.6658974566972-star one? And? Since when am I in the business of making sense rating-wise, Little Barnacles Mine? Okay, okay. So it could be that there are a few things in the book that saved it from a certain death DNF, and perhaps might possibly explain the 3.6658974566972-star rating and stuff. Maybe. So time for another list and stuff.

① The World is pretty original and fresh and creative and stuff. End of yet another spectacularly brilliant demonstration.

② Some of the secondary characters are Quite Very Yummylicious (QVY™) indeed *waves at Vlad and starts planning his express abduction adoption* Come to think of it, most of the secondary characters (ponies included) seem to be more interesting than our favorite couple of lethargic jellyfish the leads. Hell, even Grandpa Erebus is more titillatingly appetizing than Simon, the male MC ← not sure how this explains the 3.6658974566972-star rating, but there you have it and stuff. 

③ This:

“Most of the terra indigene didn’t want to love humans; they wanted to eat them.”

Now if that quote alone doesn’t justify my rating, I don’t know what will. Because any book that features an oddly-assorted and beautifully homicidal clique who snack on puny humans as a hobby is worth a 3.6658974566972-star rating not DNFing, if you ask me. And if you don’t want to ask me, ask my ever-faithful second-in-command Fleet Admiral DaShrimp. Pretty sure he’ll agree with me on that one and stuff.



Ha!

Enter the world of the Others in the first novel in New York Times bestselling author Anne Bishop’s thrilling fantasy series: a place where unearthly entities—vampires and shape-shifters among them—rule the Earth and prey on the human race. As a cassandra sangue, or blood prophet, Meg Corbyn can see the future when her skin is cut—a gift that feels more like a curse. Meg’s Controller keeps her enslaved so he can have full access to her visions. But when she escapes, the only safe place Meg can hide is at the Lakeside Courtyard—a business district operated by the Others. Shape-shifter Simon Wolfgard is reluctant to hire the stranger who inquires about the Human Liaison job. First, he senses she’s keeping a secret, and second, she doesn’t smell like human prey. Yet a stronger instinct propels him to give Meg the job. And when he learns the truth about Meg and that she’s wanted by the government, he’ll have to decide if she’s worth the fight between humans and the Others that will surely follow.

Written In Red

Jolien De Landsheer

I've read this book 6 or 7 times in the past 9 years - it just has a special place in my heart.

Nickie Mohler

Wow! This has been on my TBR list for awhile, and I wish I would've read it sooner! The Others rule the world, and see most humans as meat. They have stopped eating them (for the most part), and let them have certain areas only because of what they can get from the humans. Certain areas called Courtyards are where The Others live and make sure humans are abiding their agreement. They have a few human employees, but never human friends. Then Meg Corbyn shows up looking for a job. She smells human, but she doesn't smell like prey. What is she? With Meg around, life in the Courtyard will never be the same. I loved this book! I loved the characters, the world they live in, all of it! I am definitely going to continue this series.

Alex Roland

Elizabeth Neill

Christina M Masters

Jolie

No one creates realms like "New York Times "bestselling author Anne Bishop. Now in a thrilling new fantasy series, enter a world inhabited by the Others, unearthly entities--vampires and shape-shifters among them--who rule the Earth and whose prey are humans. As a "cassandra sangue," or blood prophet, Meg Corbyn can see the future when her skin is cut--a gift that feels more like a curse. Meg's Controller keeps her enslaved so he can have full access to her visions. But when she escapes, the only safe place Meg can hide is at the Lakeside Courtyard--a business district operated by the Others. Shape-shifter Simon Wolfgard is reluctant to hire the stranger who inquires about the Human Liaison job. First, he senses she's keeping a secret, and second, she doesn't smell like human prey. Yet a stronger instinct propels him to give Meg the job. And when he learns the truth about Meg and that she's wanted by the government, he'll have to decide if she's worth the fight between humans and the Others that will surely follow.

Written in Red

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