Name: You Don't Have to Say You Love Me
ISBN: 9780316270755

Sherman Alexie

The Instant New York Times Bestseller Shortlisted for the Carnegie Medal for Excellence in Nonfiction A searing, deeply moving memoir about family, love, loss, and forgiveness from the critically acclaimed, bestselling National Book Award-winning author of The Absolutely True Diary of a Part-Time Indian. Family relationships are never simple. But Sherman Alexie's bond with his mother Lillian was more complex than most. She plunged her family into chaos with a drinking habit, but shed her addiction when it was on the brink of costing her everything. She survived a violent past, but created an elaborate facade to hide the truth. She selflessly cared for strangers, but was often incapable of showering her children with the affection that they so desperately craved. She wanted a better life for her son, but it was only by leaving her behind that he could hope to achieve it. It's these contradictions that made Lillian Alexie a beautiful, mercurial, abusive, intelligent, complicated, and very human woman. When she passed away, the incongruities that defined his mother shook Sherman and his remembrance of her. Grappling with the haunting ghosts of the past in the wake of loss, he responded the only way he knew how: he wrote. The result is a stunning memoir filled with raw, angry, funny, profane, tender memories of a childhood few can imagine, much less survive. An unflinching and unforgettable remembrance, YOU DON'T HAVE TO SAY YOU LOVE ME is a powerful, deeply felt account of a complicated relationship. One of the most anticipated books of 2017--Entertainment Weekly and Bustle

A Memoir

You Don't Have to Say You Love Me

Megan Parrott

My god what a beautiful tapestry. Sherman Alexie is so gifted and we are blessed to have his words.

Like Alexie himself, this memoir is complicated. He depicts abuse, trauma, and brokenness alongside love, humor, and belonging (and not in a forced inspiring way). He describes his memoir as a quilt, and that checks out. It's well-crafted in interlocking patterns.

elizabeth

Jeannette Ordas

Honest. About life on the rez, about grief, about family, about mom. I read this partly while I was in my hometown, exiled at an airbnb, as my dad had just returned from the hospital so maybe this was extra emotional reading for me. Recommended.

Elda Mengisto

I like the mix of poetry and prose which, combined together, create a picture of Sherman Alexie and his relationship with his mother and how it changed throughout his life, especially with his mother's death. The inside panel is a little deceiving, as it implies a biography of sorts, but what emerges out of it is something more.

What's impressive is how he incorporates his story with the story of Native Americans--from his inability to speak the Salish language, with English being a strength in his literary career, to the salmons killed by the Grand Coulee Dam, which he conveys with both poems and prose alike. 

There was a little bit of the modern as well. One part mentioned how the Burke Museum featured modern day native Americans, which Alexie admired about it. Another is this particular quote when discussing about life in his white high school:

"I wonder if any of them thought about me when they voted for Trump. I wonder if they remember how much they loved and were loved by me. I wonder if they know they've helped place me, a public-figure brown-skinned liberal, in danger...I never directly feared for my life and career during a Republican presidency until Trump won the office" (228).

As somebody who's intrigued by last year's election and its ramifications, it really sunk in about, despite his friendships with the white population in the town, there's still a lot of prejudices to reconsider and to realign. 

The final poem is definitely something, as Alexie finds a dead bird and is responsible for its burial...there's one which connects to his arc:

"...And as I continued to shake, I felt
A sparrow-sized pain rise
From my body and--wait, wait, wait。
Listen. I don't know how or when

My grieving will end, but I'm always
Relearning how to be human again."

9/10

Maggie Gordon

You Don't Have to Say You Love Me is a beautiful, complicated memoir by Sherman Alexie about his relationship with his mother and the rest of his family. It's told as a series of stories and poems, and it reads like a punch in the gut. So much of it hit close to home for me, but it's an outstanding book even if it isn't personally reflective.

You Don't Have to Say You Love Me A Memoir