Anna Mehler Paperny

Frank, eye-opening, heartbreaking and disarmingly funny, Anna Mehler Paperny is a fabulous, vibrant new voice. In her galvanizing memoir-meets-exposé, writing with riveting vitality and intelligence about surviving suicide and the ways we try to talk about and treat depression, she has discovered what eludes many: a way to reach out to us to talk about one of the increasingly concerning medical issues today. An energetic tour-de-force of empathy and desire for understanding, Hello! I Want to Die, Please Fix Me is compelling reading, as well as essential for anyone curious to understand how it feels to be depressed, or whose life, family or friends has been touched by depression. Anna Mehler Paperny is a young journalist from Toronto--a smart, passionate reporter who has contributed to the Toronto Star, Global News, The Globe and Mail, The Wall Street Journal, Reuters, and just about every major news outlet you can think of. In her early-twenties, while thriving in her dream job, enjoying warm familial support and a strong social network of friends and colleagues, Anna found herself trapped by feelings of failure and despair. In September 2011, she made her first attempt to kill herself by ingesting a deadly mix of sleeping pills and antifreeze, landing her in the ICU followed by weeks of enforced detention in two different big-city psych wards. This was Anna's entry point into the labyrinthine psychiatric care system--one that is nominally responsible for providing the best reasonable care to millions of Canadians suffering from severe, life-threatening mental illness. Her first stay in the psych ward--at times horrifying, other times boring, hilarious and absurd--was just the beginning of a long recovery and a journey towards understanding, first-hand, the myriad ways our systems and medical practitioners treat--and fail to treat--a disease that afflicts a full fifth of the population. While trying to be a good patient, Anna cannot help but turn her intrepid journalist's eye on the world around her--in the psych ward, as an outpatient, as a survivor enduring the gruelling ordeal of facing concerned family, friends and co-workers; of finding the right meds, the right therapist; of staying insured and employed. Anna's personal account of life in the shadow of self-obliteration explores in searing detail her individual experience of depression, close encounters with fatal self-harm, and the trials and errors of treatment. It is at the same time an illuminating, profound, and utterly original analysis of how we approach mental illness in North America; the novel hypotheses specialists are putting forward to tackle it; and the truth about how primitive our methods of healing sick brains still are.

Depression in the First Person

Hello I Want to Die Please Fix Me

NATIONAL BESTSELLER SHORTLISTED FOR THE HILARY WESTON WRITERS' TRUST PRIZE FOR NONFICTION Award-winning journalist Anna Mehler Paperny's stunning memoir chronicles with courageous honesty and uncommon eloquence her experience of depression and her quest to explore what we know and don't know about this disease that afflicts almost a fifth of the population--providing an invaluable guide to a system struggling to find solutions. As fascinating as it is heartrending, as outrageously funny as it is serious, it is a must-read for anyone impacted by depression--and that's pretty much everybody. Depression is a havoc-wreaking illness that masquerades as personal failing and hijacks your life. After a major suicide attempt in her early twenties, Anna Mehler Paperny resolved to put her reporter's skills to use to get to know her enemy, setting off on a journey to understand her condition, the dizzying array of medical treatments on offer and a medical profession in search of answers. Charting the way depression wrecks so many, she maps competing schools of therapy, pharmacology, cutting-edge medicine, the pill-popping pitfalls of long-term treatment, the glaring unknowns and the institutional shortcomings that both patients and practitioners are up against. She interviews leading medical experts across Canada and the US, from psychiatrists to neurologists, brain-mapping pioneers to family practitioners, and others dabbling in strange hypotheses--and shares compassionate conversations with fellow sufferers. Hello I Want to Die Please Fix Me tracks Anna's quest for knowledge and her desire to get well. Impeccably reported, it is a profoundly compelling story about the human spirit and the myriad ways we treat (and fail to treat) the disease that accounts for more years swallowed up by disability than any other in the world.

Anna Mehler Paperny

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