David Wong

It's the story "They" don't want you to read. Though, to be fair, "They" are probably right about this one. To quote the Bible, "Learning the truth can be like loosening a necktie, only to realize it was the only thing keeping your head attached." No, don't put the book back on the shelf -- it is now your duty to purchase it to prevent others from reading it. Yes, it works with e-books, too, I don't have time to explain how. While investigating a fairly straightforward case of a shape-shifting interdimensional child predator, Dave, John and Amy realized there might actually be something weird going on. Together, they navigate a diabolically convoluted maze of illusions, lies, and their own incompetence in an attempt to uncover a terrible truth they -- like you -- would be better off not knowing. Your first impulse will be to think that a story this gruesome -- and, to be frank, stupid -- cannot possibly be true. That is precisely the reaction "They" are hoping for. John Dies at the End's "smart take on fear manages to tap into readers' existential dread on one page, then have them laughing the next" (Publishers Weekly) and This Book is Full of Spiders was "unlike any other book of the genre" (Washington Post). Now, New York Times bestselling author David Wong is back with What the Hell Did I Just Read, the third installment of this black-humored thriller series.

A Novel of Cosmic Horror

What the Hell Did I Just Read

David and John become embroiled in a new set of horrific but absurd challenges when movie-induced zombie phobia enables a nefarious shape-shifter race to take over the world.

Seriously, Dude, Don't Touch It

This Book Is Full of Spiders

Nightmarish villains with superhuman enhancements.

An all-seeing social network that tracks your every move.

Mysterious, smooth-talking power players who lurk behind the scenes.

A young woman from the trailer park.

And her very smelly cat.

Together, they will decide the future of mankind.

Get ready for a world in which anyone can have the powers of a god or the fame of a pop star, in which human achievement soars to new heights while its depravity plunges to the blackest depths. A world in which at least one cat smells like a seafood shop's dumpster on a hot summer day.

This is the world in which Zoey Ashe finds herself, navigating a futuristic city in which one can find elements of the fantastic, nightmarish and ridiculous on any street corner. Her only trusted advisor is the aforementioned cat, but even in the future, cats cannot give advice. At least not any that you'd want to follow.

Will Zoey figure it all out in time? Or maybe the better question is, will you? After all, the future is coming sooner than you think.

A Novel

Futuristic Violence and Fancy Suits

THE NATIONAL BESTSELLER New York Times bestselling author David Wong's Zoey Punches the Future in the Dick is the latest—and arguably greatest—sci-fi thriller in the Zoey Ashe Series. In the futuristic city of Tabula Ra$a, Zoey Ashe is like a fish so far out of water that it has achieved orbit. After inheriting a criminal empire, the twenty-three year-old finds herself under threat from all sides as a rogue's gallery of larger-than-life enemies think they smell weakness. On the eve of the world's most lavish and ridiculous Halloween celebration, a steamer trunk-sized box arrives at Zoey's door and she is shocked to find that it contains a disemboweled corpse. She is even more shocked when that corpse, controlled by an unknown party, rises and goes on a rampage through the house. Speaking in an electronic voice, it publicly accuses Zoey of being its murderer. This is the kind of thing that almost never happened at her old job. The city was already a ticking time bomb of publicity-hungry vigilantes with superhuman enhancements and Zoey knows this turn of events is unlikely to improve the situation. Now, she and her team of high-tech tricksters have to solve this bizarre murder while simultaneously keeping Tabula Ra$a from descending into chaos. “Biting humor and blatant digs at modern society overlay a subtly brilliant and thoughtful plot” (Publishers Weekly) in John Dies at the End author David Wong’s first installment of the Zoey Ashe Series, Futuristic Violence and Fancy Suits. Now, “one of today’s great satirists” (Nerdist) is back with Zoey Punches the Future in the Dick, the second installment in a “Technicolor tomorrowland.” (Kirkus Reviews)

Zoey Punches the Future in the Dick

Jason Pargin

John Dies at the End is a genre-bending, humorous account of two college drop-outs inadvertently charged with saving their small town—and the world—from a host of supernatural and paranormal invasions. This updated special edition includes commentary from the characters and the author! "[Jason Pargin] has updated the Lovecraft tradition and infused it with humor that rather than lessening the horror, increases it dramatically. Every time I set the book down, I was wary that something really was afoot, that there were creatures I couldn't see, and that because I suspected this, I was next. Engaging, comic, and terrifying." —Joe Garden, Features Editor, The Onion "[Pargin] is like a mash-up of Douglas Adams and Stephen King... 'page-turner' is an understatement." —Don Coscarelli, director, Phantasm I-V, Bubba Ho-tep STOP. You should not have touched this book with your bare hands. NO, don't put it down. It's too late. They're watching you. My name is David. My best friend is John. Those names are fake. You might want to change yours. You may not want to know about the things you'll read on these pages, about the sauce, about Korrok, about the invasion, and the future. But it's too late. You touched the book. You're in the game. You're under the eye. The only defense is knowledge. You need to read this book, to the end. Even the part with the bratwurst. Why? You just have to trust me. The important thing is this: The sauce is a drug, and it gives users a window into another dimension. John and I never had the chance to say no. You still do. Unfortunately for us, if you make the right choice, we'll have a much harder time explaining how to fight off the otherworldly invasion currently threatening to enslave humanity. I'm sorry to have involved you in this, I really am. But as you read about these terrible events and the very dark epoch the world is about to enter as a result, it is crucial you keep one thing in mind: None of this was my fault.

John Dies at the End

My name is David Wong. My best friend is John. Those names are fake. You might want to change yours. You may not want to know about the things you'll read on these pages, about the sauce, about Korrock, about the invasion, and the future. But it's too late. You touched the book. You're in the game. You're under the eye. The only defence is knowledge. You need to read this book, to the end. Even the part about the bratwurst. Why? You'll just have to trust me. Unfortunately for us, if you make the right choice, we'll have a much harder time explaining how to fight off the otherwordly invasion currently threatening to enslave humanity. I'm sorry to have involved you in this, I really am. But as you read about these terrible events and the very dark epoch the world is about to enter as a result, it is crucial you keep one thing in mind: NONE OF THIS IS MY FAULT...

INCLUDES A NEW AFTERWORD John Dies at the End's "smart take on fear manages to tap into readers' existential dread on one page, then have them laughing the next" (Publishers Weekly) and This Book is Full of Spiders was "unlike any other book of the genre" (Washington Post). Now, New York Times bestselling author Jason Pargin is back with What the Hell Did I Just Read, the third installment of this black-humored thriller series. It's the story "They" don't want you to read. Though, to be fair, "They" are probably right about this one. To quote the Bible, "Learning the truth can be like loosening a necktie, only to realize it was the only thing keeping your head attached." No, don't put the book back on the shelf -- it is now your duty to purchase it to prevent others from reading it. Yes, it works with e-books, too, I don't have time to explain how. While investigating a fairly straightforward case of a shape-shifting interdimensional child predator, Dave, John, and Amy realized there might actually be something weird going on. Together, they navigate a diabolically convoluted maze of illusions, lies, and their own incompetence in an attempt to uncover a terrible truth they -- like you -- would be better off not knowing. Your first impulse will be to think that a story this gruesome -- and, to be frank, stupid -- cannot possibly be true. That is precisely the reaction "They" are hoping for.

INCLUDES A NEW AFTERWORD From Jason Pargin, the New York Times bestselling author of the cult sensation John Dies at the End, comes another terrifying and hilarious tale of almost Armageddon at the hands of two hopeless heroes. Warning: You may have a huge, invisible spider living in your skull. THIS IS NOT A METAPHOR. You will dismiss this as ridiculous fear-mongering. Dismissing things as ridiculous fear-mongering is, in fact, the first symptom of parasitic spider infection--the creature stimulates skepticism, in order to prevent you from seeking a cure. That's just as well, since the "cure" involves learning what a chainsaw tastes like. You can't feel the spider, because it controls your nerve endings. You won't even feel it when it breeds. And it will breed. Just stay calm, and remember that telling you about the spider situation is not the same as having caused it. I'm just the messenger. Even if I did sort of cause it. Either way, I won't hold it against you if you're upset. I know that's just the spider talking. "Like an episode of AMC's The Walking Dead written by Douglas Adams of The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy...Imagine a mentally ill narrator describing the zombie apocalypse while drunk, and the end result is unlike any other book of the genre. Seriously, dude, touch it and read it." –Washington Post "Kevin Smith's Clerks meets H.P. Lovecraft in this exceptional thriller... [Jason Pargin] is a fantastic author with a supernatural talent for humor. If you want a poignant, laugh-out-loud funny, disturbing, ridiculous, self-aware, socially relevant horror novel than This Book is Full of Spiders: Seriously Dude, Don't Touch It is the one and only book for you." –SF Signal

Real-World Cryptography teaches you applied cryptographic techniques to understand and apply security at every level of your systems and applications. You'll go hands-on with cryptography building blocks such as hash functions and key exchanges, then learn how to use them as part of your security protocols and applications. If you're browsing the web, using public APIs, making and receiving electronic payments, or experimenting with blockchain, you're relying on cryptography. And you're probably trusting a collection of tools, frameworks, and protocols to keep your data, users, and business safe. It's important to understand these tools so you can make the best decisions about how, where, and why to use them. Real-World Cryptography teaches you applied cryptographic techniques to understand and apply security at every level of your systems and applications. You'll go hands-on with cryptography building blocks such as hash functions and key exchanges, then learn how to use them as part of your security protocols and applications. Alongside modern methods, the book also explores the future of cryptography, diving into emerging and cutting-edge advances such as cryptocurrencies, password-authenticated key exchange, and post-quantum cryptography. Purchase of the print book includes a free eBook in PDF, Kindle, and ePub formats from Manning Publications.

Real-World Cryptography

Fan favourite David Wong takes readers to a whole new level with this blistering sequel to the cult sensation John Dies at the End, now a movie starring Paul Giamatti. As the sequel opens, we find our heroes, David and John, again embroiled in a series of horrifying yet mind-bogglingly ridiculous events caused primarily by their own gross incompetence. The guys find that books and movies about zombies may have triggered a zombie apocalypse, despite a complete lack of zombies in the world. As they race against the clock to protect humanity from its own paranoia, they must ask themselves, who are the real monsters? Actually, that would be the shape-shifting horrors secretly taking over the world behind the scenes that, in the end, make John and Dave kind of wish it had been zombies after all. Hilarious, terrifying, engaging and wrenching, This Book Is Full of Spiders, the next thrilling installment, takes us for a wild ride with two slackers from the midwest who really have better things to do with their time than prevent the apocalypse.

This Book Is Full Of Spiders: Seriously Dude Don't Touch It

Nightmarish villains with superhuman enhancements. An all-seeing social network that tracks your every move. A young woman suddenly in charge of the most decadent city in the world. Zoey Ashe is like a fish so far out of water that it has achieved orbit. She finds herself struggling to establish rule over a sprawling empire while Tabula Ra$a's rogue's gallery of larger-than-life crime bosses and corrupt plutocrats smell weakness. Tensions brew across the city

An all-practical guide to the cryptography behind common tools and protocols that will help you make excellent security choices for your systems and applications. In Real-World Cryptography, you will find: Best practices for using cryptography Diagrams and explanations of cryptographic algorithms Implementing digital signatures and zero-knowledge proofs Specialized hardware for attacks and highly adversarial environments Identifying and fixing bad practices Choosing the right cryptographic tool for any problem Real-World Cryptography reveals the cryptographic techniques that drive the security of web APIs, registering and logging in users, and even the blockchain. You’ll learn how these techniques power modern security, and how to apply them to your own projects. Alongside modern methods, the book also anticipates the future of cryptography, diving into emerging and cutting-edge advances such as cryptocurrencies, and post-quantum cryptography. All techniques are fully illustrated with diagrams and examples so you can easily see how to put them into practice. Purchase of the print book includes a free eBook in PDF, Kindle, and ePub formats from Manning Publications. About the technology Cryptography is the essential foundation of IT security. To stay ahead of the bad actors attacking your systems, you need to understand the tools, frameworks, and protocols that protect your networks and applications. This book introduces authentication, encryption, signatures, secret-keeping, and other cryptography concepts in plain language and beautiful illustrations. About the book Real-World Cryptography teaches practical techniques for day-to-day work as a developer, sysadmin, or security practitioner. There’s no complex math or jargon: Modern cryptography methods are explored through clever graphics and real-world use cases. You’ll learn building blocks like hash functions and signatures; cryptographic protocols like HTTPS and secure messaging; and cutting-edge advances like post-quantum cryptography and cryptocurrencies. This book is a joy to read—and it might just save your bacon the next time you’re targeted by an adversary after your data. What's inside Implementing digital signatures and zero-knowledge proofs Specialized hardware for attacks and highly adversarial environments Identifying and fixing bad practices Choosing the right cryptographic tool for any problem About the reader For cryptography beginners with no previous experience in the field. About the author David Wong is a cryptography engineer. He is an active contributor to internet standards including Transport Layer Security. Table of Contents PART 1 PRIMITIVES: THE INGREDIENTS OF CRYPTOGRAPHY 1 Introduction 2 Hash functions 3 Message authentication codes 4 Authenticated encryption 5 Key exchanges 6 Asymmetric encryption and hybrid encryption 7 Signatures and zero-knowledge proofs 8 Randomness and secrets PART 2 PROTOCOLS: THE RECIPES OF CRYPTOGRAPHY 9 Secure transport 10 End-to-end encryption 11 User authentication 12 Crypto as in cryptocurrency? 13 Hardware cryptography 14 Post-quantum cryptography 15 Is this it? Next-generation cryptography 16 When and where cryptography fails

Alla fine John muore

Janet A. Warrington

Janer Warrington (A.)

Randy Todd

Microarrays and Cancer Research

John Dies at the End - If This Book Exists, You're in the Wrong Universe

Zoey is Too Drunk for this Dystopia

Tabula Ra$a is hosting its massive annual music festival in the desert, which every year precedes the massive annual drunken riot in the desert. This is all organized by Zoey's people, including the riot - as Will explains, the citizens need a little chaos now and then, their job is just to keep a lid on it. That will be a problem this year, with history's most ridiculous mayoral election playing out in the background. The city has divided into roughly two camps, supporting each of the major candidates: One is a stern, calculating activist out to restore traditional morality to the city at all costs, the other is Megaboss Alonzo, whose platform is that he will pay you ten dollars if you vote for him. When a horrific crime is broadcast live on the all-seeing social network Blink, the former seems poised to reap the benefits in the polls. The Suits suspect the nature and timing of the crime are a little too convenient and may be a carefully-staged hoax. But in a city in which lies are always served in layers, even that explanation will prove to be far too simple. As tensions ratchet tighter, Zoey comes to realize that this is really a battle of narratives: Every culture needs a collective story to believe in, so it's just a matter of coming up with one and then carefully sculpting reality to make it fit. How hard can that be? They have the whole weekend.

Zoey is too Drunk for this Dystopia

Today, more and more law-abiding citizens are carrying knives as part of their daily complement of gear. Knowing whether the knife you carry is legal to carry or even possess is both difficult and critically important, because carrying a prohibited knife can result in hefty fines, jail time, or both, along with a misdemeanor or felony criminal record that may haunt (and hinder) you for the rest of your life. Knife Laws of the Fifty States was written to help the law-abiding traveler and knife owner better understand the differing restrictions on knife carry that each state imposes on those within its borders. The carry restrictions for different types of knives under each state's law, off-limits areas for knife carry, blade length restrictions, and carry mode restrictions are discussed, with excerpts of relevant state laws and selected case law citations also provided. Perhaps just as important, an analysis and discussion of knife restrictions for selected cities and towns in each state is included. Major cities covered include New York City, Boston, Los Angeles, Chicago, Washington, D.C., San Francisco, Atlanta and Las Vegas, to name a few. Written in a concise and easy to read format, this informative and extensively researched book will help you, the law-abiding traveler and knife owner, gain a greater understanding of the complexities of knife regulation in our great Nation. If you carry a knife, Knife Laws of the Fifty States belongs on your bookshelf!

David Wong

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