Gretel Killeen

Zed and Pink are a normal brother and sister except for one thing ... their mum is a Very Naughty Mother! Some mothers are strict,some mothers are whiny.Some mothers can cook,some mothers are tidy. Some mothers are perfect in all that they do,while some mothers get stuck in trouble like glue aThis is the story of one of those mothers - a mother who lives her life as a kid - and the two kids who have to raise her. Oh, yes, this is the tale of the day that the Very Naughty Mother interrupts a magic Kerwuffle spell, goes invisible, gets kidnapped, nearly turns into a gold statue, rides on a cloud and is rescued by her two fabulous children , Zed and Pink (who can drive and fly and spy as well).So you have to read this book. BECAUSE IT'S FABULOUS!

The Very Naughty Mother Goes Invisible

A laugh-out-loud novel by much-loved author Gretel Killeen This is the tale of 15 year old Fleur Trotter. It starts with a bad haircut and the sort of unattractive boy who makes mould look exciting, and ends with the usual love, death, flood, fire, fortune telling and bust development. 'Without doubt the most honest and hilarious account of adolescent agony since The Bible.' - Fleur Trotter 'Lies' - Fleur's mother 'If Fleur gets this published she'll be up for adoption' - Fleur's father 'Fleur sucks. Who cares what she does!' - Miss Priss and Bum Face (Fleur's sisters)

My Life is a Toilet

Just when we thought that the intergalactic superstar, Fleur Trotter, had spontaneously combusted with fabulousness she returns with another extraordinary story. Hot on the heels of the gob-smacking success of 'My Life is a Wedgie' and 'My Life is a Toilet' comes this hilarious tale of teenager Fleur Trotter being forced to come to terms with life, love, laughter, unwanted body hair and familial humiliation...while stranded in Europe on a school excursion.

My Life is a Boob Tube

Bravo, bonjour and welcome! Here it is - the hugely anticipated sequel to the cult classics and intergalactic bestsellers My Life is a Toilet, My Life is a Wedgie and My Life is a Boob Tube. Laugh, weep and make your frizzy hair smooth as Fleur not only deals with being dumped, a massive zit, and a dying grandma who's turned orange, but also competes against her family for a million dollars in a reality TV show that's broadcast live across the universe. Oh yes, that's right, the book is brilliant because it reveals many things the duplicity of human nature, the complications of love, and and Fleur's bum as well. 'Whoever wrote this book is a genius.' Fleur (the book's author)

My Life is a Girdle

Some days you lose your job, some days your kids move out and some days your husband resembles a cocktail frankfurt. Some days you prang the car, you're stalked, or you're robbed, some days your hair looks like you've been electrocuted and some days all these things happen at once. And on top of that your bum drops. In this gleefully exaggerated memoir Gretel Killeen looks at the big questions that we're confronted with in times of calamity: what the hell is life all about and what on earth are we supposed to do with it? Yes, it's the female midlife crisis for the generation who were meant to be superwomen, able to run a global empire, raise a family, help a crippled dog give birth and do the ironing while having multiple orgasms! With warmth, wisdom and wicked wit, Gretel seeks advice from old friends ('life sucks and then you die'), new friends ('life is a life-changing experience') and family ('maybe you should rent out your big bum as a kind of mobile advertising space') taking us on a hilarious yet poignant ride as she stands on top of the hill that she's not only climbed but has also built, looks at the view and wonders, 'Is this all there is?'

A Gleefully Exaggerated Memoir

The Night My Bum Dropped

When Eppie falls into a pot hole, gets squashed to the size of a strawberry and becomes completely entangled in her brother Zeke's yo-yo, Zeke only has a day to get her back to normal. What follows is a hilarious high tale of escape, theft, bullies, brats, goody-goodies, garbage trucks, magic lamps, scabs, snot, bribery, bravery, a blind mum, a fat nurse and a boy on a bicycle covered in something very unsavoury - and that's only the beginning! This slapstick adventure, bursting with anarchic energy has enormous child-appeal for even the most reluctant reader.

My Sister's A Yo-Yo

I wish my mum and dad had been less famous, 'cause then maybe their divorce wouldn't have made the world's headlines. I wish I was still at my friend Rupert's party, even if my bikini bottoms did fly off when I stacked my jet ski. I wish Mum had never taken me to the mountains to interview child soldiers. I wish these people had never taken me away from the mountains. And I wish I hadn't fallen in love. A dangerous, hilarious, passionate story of loss, survival and love

I Love You Zelda Bloo

In this gleefully exaggerated memoir, Gretel Killeen looks at the big questions that we're confronted with in times of calamity: what the hell is life all about and what on earth are we supposed to do with it? Yes, it's the female midlife crisis for the generation who were meant to be superwomen, able to run a global empire, raise a family, help a crippled dog give birth and do the ironing while having multiple orgasms! With warmth, wisdom and wicked wit, Gretel seeks advice from old friends ('life sucks and then you die'), new friends ('life is a life-changing experience') and family ('maybe you should rent out your big bum as a kind of mobile advertising space'), taking us on a hilarious yet poignant ride as she stands on top of the hill that she's not only climbed but has also built, looks at the view and wonders, ''Is this all there is?''

Leigh Hobbs

When Eppie falls into a pot hole and gets squashed to the size of a strawberry, her brother Zeke decides to have some fun with his yoyo. What follows is a hilarious high tale of escape, theft, bullies, brats, dobbers, goody-goodies, garbage trucks, magic lamps, scabs, snot, bribery, bravery, a blind mum, a fat nurse, a skinny teacher and a boy on a bicycle covered in vomit - and that's only the beginning!

My Sister's A Yo Yo

Eppie Morgan

Zeke Morgan

A laugh-out-loud novel by much-loved author Gretel Killeen When Zeke and Eppie return from outer space stretched long and thin like two pieces of spaghetti, it's only a matter of a very short time before they both get sucked down the bathtub plughole and a new adventure begins. What follows is a giggle-filled, non-stop undersea romp with man-eating seaweed, pirates in petticoats, lost cities, spiral sharks, stolen treasure, killer cordial, secret castles, magic mermaids, splendid speedy sea cyles, barbie bras, invisible enemies, fat fishermen, elastic eels, fairy godfish and supersonic horses and that's all before breakfast!ABOUT THE AUTHORGretel Killeen is well known as a radio and television personality and as a stand-up comedian. Her hilarious articles in various leading Australian newspapers and magazines enjoy an enthusiastic following. She has published an impressive list of best-selling books, including the runaway successes My Life is a Toilet and My Life is a Wedgie and the popular My Sister's series. Her innovative picture books include Cherry Pie and What'll we get for Grandma? Gretel lives in Sydney with her two children Eppie and Zeke. ABOUT THE ILLUSTRATORSHaving practised strenuously at home upon all manner of forbidden surfaces (bedroom walls, their own arms and legs and each others faces), Zeke and Eppie, the hero and heroine of the My Sister series, emerge from the pages to illustrate this tale. While both prefer to draw themselves attractively and illustrate each other as blobs, the contributions of the real life Zeke and Eppie have intriguingly added a new dimension to the My Sister series as the lines between reality, imagination, character and fiction blur.

My Sister's A Sea Slug

A laugh-out-loud novel by much-loved author Gretel Killeen. When a friendly stork finally delivers teeny-weeny Zeke and Eppie home from mermaid kingdom, they jump from his beak to fly down and kiss their mother but she accidentally swallows them instead. What follows is a chuckle-choc-a-block adventure full of bubbling brains, jealous germs, fluffs, evil eyes, sneaky snot, wild worms, heroic hearts, forgetful fingers, bouncing bottoms, hysterical hair, ticklish teeth, arm armies and tap dancing toes. And that's all before Mum realises that Zeke and Eppie are even missing.

My Sister's A Burp

When a clairvoyant tells Gretel Killeen that she has only days to live, she is forced to look back on all the most important things in her life. High on her list is the man with whom she has shared her longest relationship, Jimmy. Theirs is a warts and all friendship – perhaps far more honest than any marriage, and Gretel takes us into the heart of their unconventional love with hilarity, wisdom and warmth. Readers who read Gretel's first volume of autobiography, The Night My Bum Dropped, will recall Jimmy fondly – and those who didn't should prepare to meet an unbelievable and unforgettable man. But this Jimmy is to be believed, as this is a much more honest account of the private life behind the very public woman.

Jimmy & Gret Don't Do Sex

A bindup of three fabulous Gretel Killeen books for younger readers: MY SISTER'S A YOYO MY SISTER'S AN ALIEN MY SISTER'S A SEA SLUG

My Sister's Series

Nora Fawn's daughter, Hope, disappeared four years ago. Nora has never known why. Refusing to answer her mother's calls, emails or texts, Hope maintained contact only with her big sister, Joy. Having once considered her mothering to be the greatest achievement of her life, Nora's spent these Hope-less years searching, aching, mother-guilting, working for a famous yet talentless artist and avoiding her own emotionally repressed mother, Daphne. But ... last night Hope rang out of the blue to say, 'I'm coming home, I'm getting married, the wedding is in three weeks and it's your job to organise it.' Desperate to prove her worth as a mother and regain her daughter's love, Nora commits to the task - assisted by her own increasingly dementia'd mother and her two best friends, Soula (an amateur bikini-line waxer) and Thilma (whom they found in a cab in the 1980s). My Daughter's Wedding is both hilarious and profound as it explores the confounding complexity, wild terrain, mountains, valleys and quicksand found in three generations of mother-daughter love.

Gretel Killeen

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