Marieke Nijkamp

From the author of the #1 New York Times bestseller This Is Where It Ends! Days before Corey is to return home to the snow and ice of Lost Creek, Alaska, to visit her best friend, Kyra dies. Corey is devastated—and confused. The entire Lost community speaks in hushed tones about the town's lost daughter, saying her death was meant to be. And they push Corey away like she's a stranger. Corey knows something is wrong. Lost is keeping secrets—chilling secrets. But piecing together the truth about what happened to her best friend may prove as difficult as lighting the sky in an Alaskan winter...

Before I Let Go

Moth

I might be the only person who didn’t like this or Corey’s ace rep. She’s probably more aroace from what the story shows us. Leaves too many questions in the air. It make you mad, rightfully. But let’s remember mental illness isn’t magical. It’s just an illness. Adding the magic part felt like a slap in the face in all honesty.

Lauren Sullivan

Trigger warnings: teen suicide, manic/depressive episodes

I was not expecting to receive this book - it showed up as a bonus along with As You Wish, which I'll be reviewing later this week.

I can't quite put my finger on what didn't work for me, but I think part of it is that I'm not usually a fan of magical realism.  For example, there's times when Corey thinks she hears a ghost.  Was it actually a ghost?  Was it her guilty conscience?  Was it someone trying to trick her into thinking there's a ghost?  I don't know, because it's never actually explained.  There's not really any sort of build up of the tension, really - what I suspected happened after the first few chapters is what actually happened.  Instead of building from "normal la la everything's alright" to "AH!!!!" it starts right out at creepy and stays pretty much the same for the rest of the book.

The book consists of a mix of chapters from Corey's point of view interspersed with letters from Kyra, and then weird script-type sections.  For the life of me, I'm not sure what the author was trying to accomplish with those.  They made me feel especially disconnected from Corey, because these supposedly creepy things would happen, and we'd never really get her emotional reaction to them.

That gets into one of the major reasons I couldn't really get into the book: I never really got a good feel for Corey.  Though we see her and Kyra in flashbacks, for the most part, present Corey has just one emotional state: anger.  She's downright belligerent, and seriously, when you're confronting people who you  think are hiding secrets about your best friend's death, wouldn't you try to be, I don't know, a little more circumspect?  I think we're supposed to excuse Corey's bluntness due to grief, but honestly, half the time I wanted to smack Corey for being all self-righteous and "no one else knew her but me!!!!!" to pretty much the entire town, including Kyra's grieving parents.  While there is a large dollop of truth to that, it felt odd to have her confronting them after Kyra's death when she did absolutely nothing to stop her from being ostracized while she was still alive.  While Corey says she doesn't believe Kyra's death was suicide, she never comes up with any theories herself as to what could have happened until she's finally confronted with the truth.

One of the major themes is that Kyra is more than her mental illness, but pretty much all of Corey's memories of her revolve around her BPD, so all we really do see of her is that.  I'm not sure if the author intended it to be that way, but it struck me as odd.  One of the few non-BPD things explored with Kyra is her attraction to Corey.  Corey self-describes herself as asexual, and Keira as pansexual.  Corey has a lot of guilt over Kyra's death, and some of it is that she couldn't return Kyra's feelings in the same way.  While there are several other positive gay relationships in the book, it bothered me that this one had such an unrequited, negative connotation to it.

Storytelling was another theme that ran through the book, including the importance of groups telling their own story, rather than having their story told for them.  At times, Corey sees herself as the only person capable of telling Kyra's story, rather than just a story about Kyra.  I found this part fascinating and wish it had been emphasized more over some of the creepy elements, and if I end up rereading this book, it'll be to explore that theme more.

Overall, I feel like I've been very negative about this book.  But, honestly, it's very readable - I finished it in an afternoon, and while I was reading it, I enjoyed it.  I generally enjoyed the author's style and her lyrical prose, and I felt the descriptions of the Alaskan wilderness and how remote it was were really well done.  I have the author's first book on my TBR list, so I think I'll go back and read that one before deciding if she's a not-for-me author.

Nadine 

Just ok. I found myself a little bored and unmotivated to complete the book as the writing was quite pedestrian.

Mica

Sinceramente no me gustó para nada. En este libro nos encontramos con el típico cliché del pueblo pequeño, alejado de todo, donde todos sus habitantes están en contra de los forasteros y además de una de ellos solo por el hecho de tener un transtorno de bipolaridad.
Hay muchas cosas en este libro que no me terminan de convencer, como la amistad entre nuestra protagonista y su mejor amiga. En algún momento tuvieron problemas por un amor no correspondido y literal que a los dos segundos siguieron como si nada. Cosa que no me parece muy realista, porque si alguien estuviese tan enamorado como lo muestran en esta historia, me parece medio imposible que lo superes en dos segundos, incluso aunque con esa persona tengas la mejor de las amistades.
Por otra parte, el libro es DEMASIADO predecible, ya sabía cómo iba a terminar desde que empecé a leerlo.
También sentí que los personajes no están bien desarrollados, a excepción de Kyra, ya que considero que su bipolaridad fue representada bastante bien, pero por lo demás los personajes son vacíos. De nuestra protagonista no podemos decir mucho ya que su personalidad es nula y su asexualidad está pésimamente representada y en todo el libro la vemos una sola vez identificarse como tal, ya lo dije, de la protagonista no sabemos NADA. 
Realmente no disfruté de esta lectura.

Paige Green

Rating: 3/5

Genre: YA Mystery

Pages: 368

Amazon

Author

I received a free copy of this book from KidLitExchange. All opinions are my own.

Best friends Corey and Kyra were inseparable in their snow-covered town of Lost Creek, Alaska. When Corey moves away, she makes Kyra promise to stay strong during the long, dark winter, and wait for her return.

Just days before Corey is to return home to visit, Kyra dies. Corey is devastated―and confused. The entire Lost community speaks in hushed tones about the town's lost daughter, saying her death was meant to be. And they push Corey away like she's a stranger.

Corey knows something is wrong. With every hour, her suspicion grows. Lost is keeping secrets―chilling secrets. But piecing together the truth about what happened to her best friend may prove as difficult as lighting the sky in an Alaskan winter... - Amazon.com

Before I begin this review I do want to give a warning about this book. The book discusses depression and it can be a very heavy topic for a lot of people. If you suffer or are triggered by depression please reconsider reading this book. Moving on, this book is a super dark tale about grief and depression. I thought that the story was well written and the plot was intriguing at face value, but the book had some serious issues with it.

I had a lot of trouble getting through the book. I really wanted to DNF it and while the writing was really good the story felt like it wasn't going anywhere. I felt that the main chracter had the same conversation with other people multiple times and that there was no character development for this character. I also felt that the book felt off. It didn't feel like anything was really resolved and there was no message of hope or healthy acceptance of the character's depression. The book even kind of leans towards showing how horrible having depression is and that it's an end-all which I didn't like or agree with at all.

Verdict: I think this book could have been better and could have been an uplifting tale about depression and grief. Both of these topics should never be taken lightheartedly, but it can be wrote in an uplifting manner. If you're into mysteries then this book will be for you as there is some mystery in this book.

From #1 New York Times bestselling author Marieke Nijkamp (This Is Where It Ends) comes Before I Let Go, an emotional thriller about a suspicious death, a friend desperate for answers, and their small town's sinister secrets. Best friends Corey and Kyra were inseparable in their tiny snow-covered town of Lost Creek, Alaska. But as Kyra starts to struggle with her bipolar disorder, Corey's family moves away. Worried about what might happen in her absence, Corey makes Kyra promise that she'll stay strong during the long, dark winter. Then, just days before Corey is to visit, Kyra dies. Corey is devastated—and confused, because Kyra said she wouldn't hurt herself. The entire Lost community speaks in hushed tones, saying Kyra's death was meant to be. And they push Corey away like she's a stranger. The further Corey investigates—and the more questions she asks—the greater her suspicion grows. Lost is keeping secrets—chilling secrets. Can she piece together the truth about Kyra's death and survive her visit? Perfect for readers looking for: Mystery books for teens Bipolar teen characters Asexual characters Praise for Before I Let Go: A New York Times Bestseller! 2019 ALA Rainbow List 2018 Teen Choice Book of the Year Nominee "With exceptional handling of everything from mental illness to guilt and a riveting, magic realist narrative, this well wrought, haunting novel will stick with readers long after the final page."—Booklist *STARRED REVIEW* "Compulsive readability... Intriguingly spooky"—Kirkus Reviews "This sophomore novel from Nijkamp will haunt readers... The honest reflection of mental illness, suicide, friendship, and being an outsider provides ample topics for book discussion."—School Library Journal "[A] reflective examination on love and returning home... Nijkamp has an uncommon talent for drawing readers deep into the psyches of her characters."—Publishers Weekly Also by Marieke Nijkamp: This Is Where It Ends Even If We Break

Makayla Reed

Going into this book I didn't know what to expect. I had really enjoyed This is Where it Ends by Marieke so I assumed I would fall right into this story as well.

I wouldn't say this is a new favorite but I will say this is a book that needs to be read by everyone. It's a book that forces understanding of people who are mentally ill. It forces you to confront yourself and the world around us on how we treat people with mental illness. The mentally ill are not show ponies to create art for your happiness and laughter. They are real people who are struggling, coping and trying to stay alive.

The mystery of this town and the people who live in it was so interesting that I truly did not want to stop reading until I reached the end. I was confused a lot of the time because of the craziness of this town but I also felt like I was Corey trying to solve the mystery of what happened to Kyra and the town of Lost.

I loved that this book had a mixture of normal novel writing, letters and even some scriptwriting. The chapters were short so it was an easy and fast read when I sat down and gave my full attention to it.

Overall, I believe that Marieke has created something unlike anything I have ever read. Their writing is stunning and I just can't help but be excited to read another book by them.


Drew Ann Cotter

I found this book to be very interesting and it was wonderfully written in my opinion there was some parts of the book I had to put down the book to process what was happening but a very emotional and wonderful read

Joleen

This arc was provided to me for free from Netgalley in exchange for an honest review. 

2.5 Stars

This is going to be a very confusing review because I don’t know what I just read. I can’t put it fully into words to describe this book. I was nervous picking this up because I wasn’t a big fan of the author's previous work, This Is Where It Ends. But I wanted to give it a shot because it looked like a type of YA Thriller. But unfortunately, it wasn’t for me.

This book follows Corey who has moved away from Lost Creek, Alaska and left her best friend, Kyra behind. Right before Corey comes back for a visit, she gets word that Kyra has died. Corey goes back regardless to Lost Creek to get answers but she is treated like an outsider and she discovers that the town of Lost Creek is holding deadly secrets.

This book had the potential to be a good thriller type of book, but it didn’t live up to my expectations. The characters weren’t interesting in the slightest, in fact, Corey irritated me to no end. You get glimpses of Kyra through confusing flashbacks and we see how lost and alone she really was because of her bipolar disorder. The author handled her illness pretty decently and it’s nice to see that kind of representation in books. But the characters lacked so much, the plot was just incredibly frustrating, and there are so many questions I have.


While this book left me disappointed, it still captured my attention throughout the whole thing. Which is exactly what the author's previous book did. May not be my cup of tea, but the author sure does know how to pull you in and not let you go.