Emily Nagoski

***A NEW YORK TIMES BESTELLER*** An essential exploration of why and how women’s sexuality works—based on groundbreaking research and brain science—that will radically transform your sex life into one filled with confidence and joy. Researchers have spent the last decade trying to develop a “pink pill” for women to function like Viagra does for men. So where is it? Well, for reasons this book makes crystal clear, that pill will never be the answer—but as a result of the research that’s gone into it, scientists in the last few years have learned more about how women’s sexuality works than we ever thought possible, and Come as You Are explains it all. The first lesson in this essential, transformative book by Dr. Emily Nagoski is that every woman has her own unique sexuality, like a fingerprint, and that women vary more than men in our anatomy, our sexual response mechanisms, and the way our bodies respond to the sexual world. So we never need to judge ourselves based on others’ experiences. Because women vary, and that’s normal. Second lesson: sex happens in a context. And all the complications of everyday life influence the context surrounding a woman’s arousal, desire, and orgasm. Cutting-edge research across multiple disciplines tells us that the most important factor for women in creating and sustaining a fulfilling sex life, is not what you do in bed or how you do it, but how you feel about it. Which means that stress, mood, trust, and body image are not peripheral factors in a woman’s sexual wellbeing; they are central to it. Once you understand these factors, and how to influence them, you can create for yourself better sex and more profound pleasure than you ever thought possible. And Emily Nagoski can prove it.

The Surprising New Science that Will Transform Your Sex Life

Come as You Are

Samantha Mochrie 

Florian Schindler

Sexual response is the process of both turning on the ons and turning off the offs. Context, your environment and your mental state-influences how and when the ons and offs activate. Desire can be spontaneous or responsive, and both are normal. Sex life is characterized by confidence and joy. Learning, liking and wanting. You are normal.

„Home" is the place-physical and emotional--where we can discharge stress without being judged or shamed or told we just need to relax or forget about it. "Home" is where we receive our partner‘s „loving presence. 

Like any good nonfiction book that seeks to impress itself upon its readers, Come As You Are has a lot of repetition. Sometimes that can make the book a slog, but it WORKS here; I know each of these ideas, and I feel helped by each understanding. It's like adding knowledge to my toolbox, it’s not a fix-all. But it helps to have the words!

Caroline Clutterbuck Kapulkin

I wrote this book to teach people to live with confidence and joy.

If you can remember even one of the ideas in this book — no two alike, brakes and accelerator, context, nonconcordant arousal, responsive desire, any of them — and use it to improve your relationship with your own sexuality, you'll be helping me with that goal.

I love a book that ends with a Kung Fu Panda reference. 😂 The secret ingredient … is you! ❤️

When Po first looks at the scroll, he is disappointed to find that there is nothing written on it. It's a mirror—it reflects his own face.

And then comes his epiphany: "There is no secret ingredient. It's just you. 

Yes, you are normal. In fact, you're not just normal. You're amazing.

Come as You Are quotes

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