Tina Gilbertson

Presents advice for dealing with self-critical thoughts and negative emotions about the past, along with techniques for developing self-compassion and a more positive outlook.

How to Beat Bad Feelings by Letting Yourself Have Them

Constructive Wallowing

CONSTRUCTIVE WALLOWING is the first book to cut right to the chase, teaching readers how to accept and feel their feelings with self-compassion for greater emotional health and wellbeing.. while making them laugh from time to time.

It's tempting to turn away from menacing, uncomfortable feelings like anger, grief, or regret; but ignoring them makes them fester and linger. By learning to accept and embrace rather than suppress difficult feelings, readers keep their sense of personal power and gain greater understanding and ultimately esteem for themselves. Feeling bad can actually lead to feeling better, faster! This practical book, full of practical insight, humour and compassion will enable readers to get in touch with their whole self, and live fuller, happier lives.

Contents include how to:

Escape from the trap of self-criticism by taking your own side

Use the T-R-U-T-H Technique to get out from under bad feelings, fast

Neutralize old emotions that zap your energy and undermine your happiness

Allow painful feelings to let go of you, instead of the other way around

Break long-standing relationship patterns by healing old wounds

Build a healthier, more loving relationship with the most important person in your life - you!

nanafark

(w)allowing in painful emotions can set us free to be our best selves throughout our lives. 

Don’t believe the propaganda that says every bad thing you feel is because you’re choosing the wrong attitude.

“[I]f you change how people talk, that changes how they think. If people learn another language, they inadvertently also learn a new way of looking at the world.”

“Trust yourself. You know more than you think you do.”

How you handle your emotions is learned by observation and/or conditioning, regardless of temperament. 

Emotions, are like flowers. They’re designed to wither and die once they’ve bloomed. 

Learn to receive by giving to yourself. It will help you receive from others.

Crying is an effective coping mechanism, not a sign of weakness.

anything you can understand, you can have compassion for. 

 it, i.e., by feeling it and tolerating it until it passes.

You can’t beat Mother Nature. The smartest choice you can make is to understand and work with her.

But what makes us good people is our choices. And feelings are not by choice.

Statements that start with “I feel like” often describe thoughts rather than feelings.

There’s no point in feeling guilty if you think you’ve had a good life but you still aren’t happy. You’re not on this earth to be just okay or satisfied with not being traumatised. 

emotions tie back to earlier events and make small deals feel like big ones.

Once I could accept my feelings as they were, 

 the actual feelings were manageable in a way that lying to myself about them was not.

While I’d been wrestling with those painful feelings, I felt toxic. But once I stopped fighting and just acknowledged them, I felt cleaner.

Emotions that aren’t acknowledged tend to control us, rather than the other way around. 

I hope it’s becoming clear that when we stop fighting our own feelings, we start to regain the pieces of ourselves we’ve been lonely for. The closer we are to being whole, the more inner resources we have to live our lives well, and to deal with the difficulties life inevitably brings our way.

Constructively wallowing in feelings, also known as having, embracing, witnessing, or tolerating feelings, leads us back to where we started out in life: with a fresh, clean slate.

My experience with self-help books has been that they make me feel good when I’m reading them, but I don’t usually do the activities they suggest. As long as I’m reading, I feel like I’m moving forward. But, once I finish the book, that feeling goes away. Then it’s time to read another self-help book. 

She needs to accept her actual (rather than desired) experience, understand it, and 

the next step rather than trying to push herself there.

i picked this book after reading another one that obviously triggered many emotions and i found myself in a sort of depressive mood for more than a week.

i’m very happy i picked this up and i’d like to encourage everyone who might read this review to read it. 

it’s very simple yet helpful and insightful, it has examples and it honestly makes very easy to understand the whole concept of wallowing. it is very instructive in general, which is always helpful in these books. 

i believe that the wrong impressions about feelings, thoughts, emotions are well described and it leaves you with a new understanding about yourself and the world around you. 

i believe it will be a tool for when difficult times come and it will assist me throughout those times.

i picked this book after reading another one that obviously triggered many emotions and i found myself in a sort of depressive mood for more than a week.

i’m very happy i picked this up and i’d like to encourage everyone who might read this review to read it. 

it’s very simple yet helpful and insightful, it has examples and it honestly makes very easy to understand the whole concept of wallowing. it is very instructive in general, which is always helpful in these books. 

i believe that the wrong impressions about feelings, thoughts, emotions are well described and it leaves you with a new understanding about yourself and the world around you. 

i believe it will be a tool for when difficult times come and it will assist me throughout those times.

i highly suggest it to everyone!

Constructive Wallowing How to Beat Bad Feelings by Letting Yourself Have Them

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