I Was Here

Lulu Evensen

It says you can still forgive her. And she will forgive you back.

But I don't know that I can. And I don't know that she did.

Butter meant baking, which meant she was melancholy and needed cheering. Spicy meant she was happy and making hot Mexican food for Joe, even though it hurt her stomach. Popcorn meant that she was in bed, in the dark, not cooking anything,

"I have time" she'd said, opening her arms, as if to demonstrate just how much life there was out there, waiting for her.

Meg's voice that could make anyone do anything, anytime. 

That one time in her life she might've needed me, i failed her. 

And it was years later that I'd learned Mrs. Banks was special-ordering books through interlibrary loan that she thought I'd like. 

"Meg was my best friend, and i thought we were everything to each other. I thought we told each other everything. But it turns out, I didn't know her at all." I taste something hard and metallic. It's an ugly flavor, but I savor it, the way you relish the taste of your own blood

"She didn't tell me that she found life to be so unbearably painful. I mean, I didn't even have a clue." A kind of laugh escapes, and I know that if I'm not very careful, what follows will be something I don't want to hear, that no one wants to hear. "How can you not know that about your best friend? Even if she doesn't tell you, how can you not know? How can you believe someone to be beautiful and amazing and just about the most magical person you've ever known, when it turns out she was in such pain that she had to drink poison that robbed her cells of oxygen until her heart had no choice but to stop beating? So don't ask me about Meg. Because I don't know shit." 

but she had it wrong: she was Buffy and Willow, strength and magic, all folded into one. I was just basking in her glow.

I Was Here quotes

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