Maurice Blanchot

Lydia Davis

Death Sentence

jess

after reading this, i engage upon a lengthy conversation to a friend, as follows:

"True that our lives are as unimportant as compared to this universe; we are merely specks of dust, we occupy temporarily, erode and decompose as we speak, and disappear ultimately being a part of nature till the end. no such thing as immortality or supreme being or everlasting or truly “living”, death doesnt scare me, genuinely, but it filled me with respect for its majestic limerence: death is the marker of living.

i preach about the idea that embracing death is the key, for we are at this very moment, decomposing and riding along the tide to this inevitable ending for ourselves, and so the rest grew to be unimportant, unnecessary. love, happiness, family, connections: it meant nothing. 
but i know i was wrong, or the very least, it was right and i still acted contradictorily. i am not afraid of death, but i am afraid that i cant live if i embrace the idea of it.

for to accept the idea that death is imminent would require ourselves to know that death actually only serves as a marker, for us to be aware, if we truly are “living”, spending our memories forging connections, meet people, cherish the idea of at the moment, preface and live, experience, everything life has to offer,

thats the point of death, really. an indicator reminding us to truly live.

and so, it is beautifully humane to accept death, and knowing that the multitudes it hold will only bring us a tranquility kind of peace: we are either or neither a being, but we are indefinitely, humans. we are thoroughly, human hubris, to its core.

things, memories, experiences are meant to be impermanent, but it will always be subjectively ours, and it paints our life canvas in its beautifully diverse colors, it will always, be ours. no matter if our flesh died out, our bones eroded, and we are left as composts to the grandeur nature.

and one should not linger over the fear that one day it shall end! fear of it will only hinder you truly experiencing life and living it, and sometimes, thats the will of your loved ones :)

we are decomposing as we speak, what for we are afraid of the possibility of a forgotten future, when at the moment, we have filled ourselves with the immeasurable contentment of living at the present, at the moment? 

...death is there to remind us the experiences and memories we have forged.
i hope you’ll grow to see that death is beautiful in its own way. its still a part of grieving, and ive lost so many people that broke me, but i knew in that they have lived a life with plethora of memories, and i am so grateful that i have managed to be a part of theirs during the times they’re living.

and the gaping hole they’ve left me will only served as a fertile soil for flowers of our memories to grow and bloom."

Death Sentence

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